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Posted on 6/26/13 at 10:58 am to LasVegasTiger
Prison Mike:
Dwight Schrute: Prison Mike, what's the very, very worst thing about prison?
Angela Martin: [softly to Dwight] Don't encourage him, Dwight.
Michael Scott: [as Prison Mike] The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!
Karen Filippelli: Dementors, like in "Harry Potter"?
Michael Scott: No, not "Harry Potter." There are no movies in prison.
Angela Martin: Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?
Michael Scott: Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, biatch?
All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's just the way we talk in the clink. Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody's bitch. Oh, and you. [points to Ryan] You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap! Don't drop the soap!
Jim Halpert: What did you do, Prison Mike?
Michael Scott: [pretending he went to prison] I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.
Jim Halpert: That is quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike.
Michael Scott: And I never got caught, neither.
Jim Halpert: Well, you were in prison, but... Mm-hmm.
Pam Beesley: Prison Mike, what was the food like in prison?
Michael Scott: Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.
Dwight Schrute: Prison Mike, what's the very, very worst thing about prison?
Angela Martin: [softly to Dwight] Don't encourage him, Dwight.
Michael Scott: [as Prison Mike] The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!
Karen Filippelli: Dementors, like in "Harry Potter"?
Michael Scott: No, not "Harry Potter." There are no movies in prison.
Angela Martin: Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?
Michael Scott: Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, biatch?
All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's just the way we talk in the clink. Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody's bitch. Oh, and you. [points to Ryan] You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap! Don't drop the soap!
Jim Halpert: What did you do, Prison Mike?
Michael Scott: [pretending he went to prison] I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.
Jim Halpert: That is quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike.
Michael Scott: And I never got caught, neither.
Jim Halpert: Well, you were in prison, but... Mm-hmm.
Pam Beesley: Prison Mike, what was the food like in prison?
Michael Scott: Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 11:01 am to Josh Fenderman
and the award for busiest beaver goes to... Phyliss
this says bushiest beaver
this says bushiest beaver
Posted on 6/26/13 at 11:12 am to wish i was tebow
Baby shower episode
Michael: Is this it? I mean is this... two bowls of M&Ms and some balloons? You know what Phyllis? I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because if I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well you know what? Where's my golden shower, Phyllis.
Michael: Is this it? I mean is this... two bowls of M&Ms and some balloons? You know what Phyllis? I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because if I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well you know what? Where's my golden shower, Phyllis.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 11:13 am to wish i was tebow
I could watch the 1st Dundies episode every day.
A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?
Now I know what Bob Hope felt like while performing in Saudi Arabia. And I got Dwight sucking the funny out of the room. [music starts] And there he is... early with the cue.
Michael Scott: I was out on a very, very hot date last night with a girl from H.R., Dwight!
Dwight Schrute: Really? We don't have any girls from H.R.
Michael Scott: No, that... for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy, and I was about to take her bra off, when she hand me fill out six hours of paper work.
Dwight Schrute: Like an AIDS test?
Michael Scott: No. God.
A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?
Now I know what Bob Hope felt like while performing in Saudi Arabia. And I got Dwight sucking the funny out of the room. [music starts] And there he is... early with the cue.
Michael Scott: I was out on a very, very hot date last night with a girl from H.R., Dwight!
Dwight Schrute: Really? We don't have any girls from H.R.
Michael Scott: No, that... for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy, and I was about to take her bra off, when she hand me fill out six hours of paper work.
Dwight Schrute: Like an AIDS test?
Michael Scott: No. God.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 12:12 pm to LasVegasTiger
I always love reading through Office quote threads. Even when I read the lines, I still laugh. What a fantastic show. One of the best ever.
As an aside, about a year ago I went through all the episodes again. As I went through them, I wrote down everything Creed had ever done from the show. I have no idea what I did with that but it was hilarious to read it as sort of a resume. God I wish I could find that document.
As an aside, about a year ago I went through all the episodes again. As I went through them, I wrote down everything Creed had ever done from the show. I have no idea what I did with that but it was hilarious to read it as sort of a resume. God I wish I could find that document.
This post was edited on 6/26/13 at 12:13 pm
Posted on 6/26/13 at 1:04 pm to tuck
Mrs. Allen: I’m calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael: Yeah, well, I’m calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!
Michael: Yeah, well, I’m calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!
Posted on 6/26/13 at 1:06 pm to ag3ntpurpl3
quote:
As an aside, about a year ago I went through all the episodes again. As I went through them, I wrote down everything Creed had ever done from the show. I have no idea what I did with that but it was hilarious to read it as sort of a resume. God I wish I could find that document.
thats awesome
some of the best are just michael at his desk talking to the camera
Posted on 6/26/13 at 1:55 pm to LSULyle00690
Blind Date episode
"I'll give her a 10 for looks and a 3 on her ability to describe herself." That whole sequence at the cafe is funny.
"I'll give her a 10 for looks and a 3 on her ability to describe herself." That whole sequence at the cafe is funny.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 1:58 pm to beaverfever
quote:
"I'll give her a 10 for looks and a 3 on her ability to describe herself."
and when he says nope not me sorry and his hot chocolate order is called
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:02 pm to wish i was tebow
haha the guy just stares at him and keeps saying his name.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:04 pm to beaverfever
when they drop the watermelons
find out who's car that is if its stanleys call the NAACP
isnt depression just a fancy word for felling bummed out?
Dwight you ignorant slut
find out who's car that is if its stanleys call the NAACP
isnt depression just a fancy word for felling bummed out?
Dwight you ignorant slut
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:07 pm to LSULyle00690
Michael "I know a ton of 12 year old girls that could kick his arse"
Jim "you know a ton of 12 year old girls?"
Jim "you know a ton of 12 year old girls?"
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:17 pm to Melvin
Michael responding to Phyllis's proposition that he date her friend: "Could an average size rowboat support her without capsizing?"
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:19 pm to beaverfever
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:20 pm to beaverfever
im not worried about you telling corporate, what I am worried about.... Is gettin a boner
Toby: we are gonna sing kumbuyya are we
MS: get out
MS: Diversity tomorrow... because today, is almost over
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:21 pm to wish i was tebow
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:23 pm to LasVegasTiger
the office is like friends. Im Chandler and Joey Pam is rachel and dwight is.. Kramer
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:23 pm to wish i was tebow
"The eyes...we must go for the eyes"
"Jim, I can see his eyes"
"Jim, just climb on top of her and think of Stanley"
That whole sequence when they are raiding the Utica branch is one of my favorite of the series.
"Jim, I can see his eyes"
"Jim, just climb on top of her and think of Stanley"
That whole sequence when they are raiding the Utica branch is one of my favorite of the series.
Posted on 6/26/13 at 2:25 pm to HumbleNinja
As a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy I’ve been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out . . . she was. With a couple of guys, actually. . . so . Mystery solved.
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