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Message
Question about maintaining sobriety
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:18 am
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:18 am
Do you think long term sobriety be maintained without peer groups like AA?
My idea was I can't drink because I can't do it responsibly so I have to quit. i haven't had anything in a little over 6 weeks. I talked to a pastor/friend and he hooked me up with a guy he knows and we talked a little. His heart is in the right place for sure but when he started talking about our families going out to eat and socializing right off the but it caught me off guard . Like I said, I have no doubt he means well it was just not what I was expecting
My idea was I can't drink because I can't do it responsibly so I have to quit. i haven't had anything in a little over 6 weeks. I talked to a pastor/friend and he hooked me up with a guy he knows and we talked a little. His heart is in the right place for sure but when he started talking about our families going out to eat and socializing right off the but it caught me off guard . Like I said, I have no doubt he means well it was just not what I was expecting
36
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:21 am to DeltaTiger14
If peer pressure is a big influence on you ( as it is with many), then hanging out with other non drinkers will be vital.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:21 am to DeltaTiger14
He wants to socialize? What an a-hole.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:22 am to DeltaTiger14
quote:
when he started talking about our families going out to eat and socializing right off the but
He wants you to eat off his families but?
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:23 am to DeltaTiger14
Good luck to you. Abuse of that drug has ruined oh so many people.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:24 am to DeltaTiger14
quote:
Do you think long term sobriety be maintained without peer groups like AA?
It can be. All depends on personality, etc.
Everyone reacts to different methods of maintaining sobriety. There is no right way for everyone, only a right way for you.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:27 am to JPinLondon
Are you stand off-is because you don't want your sobriety to be "a thing"?
Because your pastor introducing you to a peer in a similar situation (in recovery, family, religious) shouldn't be shocking that the guy would potentially try to actually befriend you and offer you some positive social situations.
Because your pastor introducing you to a peer in a similar situation (in recovery, family, religious) shouldn't be shocking that the guy would potentially try to actually befriend you and offer you some positive social situations.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:27 am to PrivatePublic
He isn't at all. Very nice man, I guess I thought it would be a more clinical relationship . No experience with any of this.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:29 am to DeltaTiger14
I'm just drive by posting, have been r ally busy but felt I could maybe shed s little light.
The easy quick answer, is 'no', the NA, AA model is just one of s plethora of ways to change your habits and lifestyles
I have been through it all and I would say maybe give the 12 steps a try, maybe for the brotherhood and support if for anything, BUT you will find out soon enough if it's for you... it wasn't for me and I gave it some honest tries, but it was NO DOUBT the best thing for some of my best friends and possibly saved their life and now hey have a responsible social life around it while staying sober.
The easy quick answer, is 'no', the NA, AA model is just one of s plethora of ways to change your habits and lifestyles
I have been through it all and I would say maybe give the 12 steps a try, maybe for the brotherhood and support if for anything, BUT you will find out soon enough if it's for you... it wasn't for me and I gave it some honest tries, but it was NO DOUBT the best thing for some of my best friends and possibly saved their life and now hey have a responsible social life around it while staying sober.
This post was edited on 6/3/17 at 7:38 am
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:29 am to NoSaint
I don't know . Good question. It is a big thing but it's a self induced thing. I made the choice to do it .
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:31 am to DeltaTiger14
AA certainly cant hurt. Go to a few meetings and talk to some folks there.
If it isnt for you, fine, but it wont hinder you I promise that
If it isnt for you, fine, but it wont hinder you I promise that
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:31 am to SuperSaint
quote:
Do you think long term sobriety be maintained without peer groups like AA?
quote:
The easy quick answer, is 'no', the NA, AA model is just one of s plethora of ways to change your habits and lifestyles
So... The answer is yes?
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:38 am to DeltaTiger14
AA never worked for me. The shite is a weird cult imo. How old are you? Binge drinking was something I just had to grow out of. Good luck. It is hard.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:41 am to DeltaTiger14
I can't. Alcohol was my solution. AA introduced me to an other solution. When I stay away from other AA's my thinking gets off and I go back to the old solution. AA is a tool that teaches me how to live my life without the need for alcohol. Before AA all I was doing was surviving, now i am living. Good luck to you.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:42 am to DeltaTiger14
I can see where the guy came on a little strong, but I'm sure his heart is in the right place and he is just eager to help. One of the best ways to help is starting relationships with non-drinkers, so maybe you should consider taking him up on the offer. Worse case scenario, he and his family are weirdos and you try a different route.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:42 am to DeltaTiger14
quote:
don't know . Good question. It is a big thing but it's a self induced thing. I made the choice to do it .
i obviously know little about you, and am no expert on recovery.... but it sounds like you were hoping to keep it a little bit compartmentalized and this becoming a lifestyle change for not just yourself but maybe your whole family being a part of the process might be worrying you?
To the main question - having been around a couple folks dealing with it... there's no single answer. doing 6 weeks on your own is better than a lot of people do in AA. You have to be in the right head space and find the resources that work for you. My only advice from watching others is to try to embrace the decision and be proud of the change. Being a good man for your family is a great thing and depending on your situation that might include some changes in scenery and the company you keep, or maybe just some chats with existing friends... or maybe not.
If you are looking more for a clinical relationship though - find a professional. If looking for some friends, the church, these groups etc... are a good option.
This post was edited on 6/3/17 at 7:45 am
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:44 am to Breesus
quote:sorry I didn't answer it, got busy making coffee before I could edit.
quote:
Do you think long term sobriety be maintained without peer groups like AA?
quote:
The easy quick answer, is 'no', the NA, AA model is just one of s plethora of ways to change your habits and lifestyles
So... The answer is yes?
But yes, I know a TON of people who just decided to quit and had the power to do it eternally without a crutch, but if someone needs any crutch, from anti-buse drugs to suboxone, to having to identify and be around other addicts, then that's ok as long as they are getting sober if that is the goal.
I was a heroin addict for a decade and the 12 steps didn't work for me, it took me deciding I didn't want to do it anymore and internalizing it and going about it on my own pretty much, while utilizing some aspects like the 'people places things' and surrounding myself around family and people that loved me, while STAYING BUSY AS POSSIBLE.... also drug or alcohol abuse is the symptom of the problem, find the cause of it, something deep down in yourself self to tackle this cause and possibly see a personal professional.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:46 am to DeltaTiger14
Keep going to meetings.
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
I've got 10 months....
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
I've got 10 months....
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:46 am to LSUTigersVCURams
quote:
AA never worked for me. The shite is a weird cult imo.
Totally disagree.
IT's 100% voluntary and a lifesaver for some people. While I didn't use AA to maintain sobriety, I got a hell of a lot out of some of the meetings.
Posted on 6/3/17 at 7:49 am to DeltaTiger14
I quit for 2 years, cold turkey. No meetings, just the threat of losing everything. It runs in my family. My aunt died at 33, from an infection, that most people would have survived from, but Vodka was her only source of nutrition. I struggle, today. I enjoy drinking, and I fricking suck at it.
There is never a "have a glass of wine at dinner", I am all or nothing.
You wanna get sober? Have someone you love hold you accountable. "If you drink, I will leave."
There is never a "have a glass of wine at dinner", I am all or nothing.
You wanna get sober? Have someone you love hold you accountable. "If you drink, I will leave."
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