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re: Anyone do volunteer coaching for youth sports…does it ever get better?
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:25 pm to schexyoung
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:25 pm to schexyoung
quote:
I’ve coached for 7 seasons (youth flag football) in an ultra competitive Plano league. We’ve won championships, gone undefeated, had seasons with 4-5 losses, etc.
i do this too and we play in a league with mainly kids from different economic backgrounds. we are the lily white private school kids and this year it got pretty bad at times. twice the cops had to come haul people off and had one parent from one of their teams tell our parents he would shoot up their whole section if the "MFing Kracker kid runs over one of their kids again"
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Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:26 pm to CHEDBALLZ
quote:
No one talks to me about the game, playing time or umpires till 12 hours after the game.
Good point. We have a 24 hour rule.
quote:
No one heckles the umpires, if you do you kid will be pulled from the game.
Another good point. Our rule is that if the parent acts up in any way, the kid gets pulled. ZERO problems with this rule in place bc no parent wants to have to explain that they didn’t get to play bc mommy/daddy is an a-hole.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:26 pm to schexyoung
quote:
I’ve coached for 7 seasons (youth flag football) in an ultra competitive Plano league. We’ve won championships, gone undefeated, had seasons with 4-5 losses, etc.
You have to set the expectations up front with the parents and revisit occasionally.
Make it about the players and the team; not the parents, the other coaches, and the refs. All of that requires you to set the example.
Youth sports is generally great with the exception of a few rotten parents and coaches who can decimate the fun.
Very similar story; coached 14 seasons (2/year) in flag football and also 6th grade basketball. On board of flag for over 5 years.
Every year first practice we had a parent meeting while kids were warming up and it was layed out to them then. I'm the coach, you are the parents, if you want to assist I'll be happy to have the help. Everyone will play, some may play more than others depending on our numbers. During the game I coach, you cheer; anything else and we have another meeting. The coaches/refs are teenagers and I will get their attention if need be, anything longer from you lasting more than one play is not accepted. They will miss many calls so go ahead and prepare yourself now. It doesn't do any good and it embarrasses your kid. This is about your son/daughter having fun, learning the game, and yes we want to win. Any questions?
We did this the last 10-11 seasons in flag and for the basketball team. Every season we had coaches ask what we did because our parents weren't idiots. We had to talk to just a couple over all those seasons. Set the standard up front and all will go well. We as coaches also didn't go crazy during the games. Parents feed off the attitude and actions of the coaches.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:27 pm to ScopeCreep
quote:
One of my favorites is that if you’re coaching from the sideline then I’ll pull your kid out of the game so you can coach them privately.
Oh I'm stealing that.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:28 pm to CHEDBALLZ
quote:
You gotta lay some rules down.
No one talks to me about the game, playing time or umpires till 12 hours after the game.
No one heckles the umpires, if you do you kid will be pulled from the game.
It's recreation, every kid will get equal playing time.
If you don't like that, start your own team.
see disagree big time with the playing time. maybe when they are younger but what kind of signal are you sending the kids if you tell the one that works really hard outside of practice that he doesnt deserve any more playing time than the kid who doesnt even come to team practice, much less work outside of it.
better kids should play period because they are the ones that are working harder. Reward hard work.
Tball is different but last year i had kids at 12 that couldnt even catch a pop fly or throw 3rd to 1st. all products of single moms btw, go figure. Im not playing them over the other kids, sorry.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:28 pm to CunningLinguist
That's the story in any group like that.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:29 pm to CunningLinguist
I coached two years of high school then walked. We had the worst program in the state. Our students were never eligible past 16 and 40% of our students were ESL (we had killer soccer). Our starting OL both years were mostly freshmen.
All this, and parents were still screaming at us from the stands and trying to argue with us after practices. The kids listen to this shite and think they don't have to listen. You end up with shitheads like Kelce.
All this, and parents were still screaming at us from the stands and trying to argue with us after practices. The kids listen to this shite and think they don't have to listen. You end up with shitheads like Kelce.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:31 pm to schexyoung
quote:Agreed. I’ve been coaching on and off since college. Now I’m coaching my own kids but you need to set the expectations of everyone before the season starts and let people know how playing time will work and that you aren’t overly concerned with wins and losses.
You have to set the expectations up front with the parents and revisit occasionally. Make it about the players and the team; not the parents, the other coaches, and the refs. All of that requires you to set the example.
Parents that bitch are always welcome to start their own team and volunteer multiple hours per week each season.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:31 pm to CunningLinguist
Is this for soccer?
I coached 7 seasons for my son’s teams (6 soccer, 1 basketball). Every season but one was enjoyable. That one was a rare season I was the assistant and we had major behavior/maturity issues on the team. Lost every game and dealt with absurd behaviors every practice and every game.
You’ve got to set the tone with the parents about what protocol is for playing time. Then ignore them. If they become a nuisance, report them if needed. Though I’ve always had good parents on our teams outside of the occasional disorganized one who forgets when or where games are.
I coached 7 seasons for my son’s teams (6 soccer, 1 basketball). Every season but one was enjoyable. That one was a rare season I was the assistant and we had major behavior/maturity issues on the team. Lost every game and dealt with absurd behaviors every practice and every game.
You’ve got to set the tone with the parents about what protocol is for playing time. Then ignore them. If they become a nuisance, report them if needed. Though I’ve always had good parents on our teams outside of the occasional disorganized one who forgets when or where games are.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:32 pm to CunningLinguist
I send out an email prior to the first practice about my expectations for parent behavior.
You have to set the parents' expectations and obligations at the beginning of the season.
You have to set the parents' expectations and obligations at the beginning of the season.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:32 pm to lsu777
quote:
disagree big time with the playing time. maybe when they are younger but what kind of signal are you sending the kids if you tell the one that works really hard outside of practice
It is in the code of conduct every parent gets for this league. If your kid is that good, move them up out of rec league.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:33 pm to lsu777
quote:
better kids should play period because they are the ones that are working harder. Reward hard work.
This is a flawed methodology. Hardest workers aren't always the best players.
Sucks, but true. The sports world is littered with hard workers riding the pine.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:35 pm to CunningLinguist
Me and another guy coach our sons' flag football team and its mostly a good experience. During the regular season, we try our very best to get all the kids as equal of playing time as we can. During the playoffs its known that our best 3-4 players will play the entire game and the other guys will rotate in some capacity but everyone does play.
It helps that its a league that costs a decent amount to join and the team is comprised of kids from our same school. This means that the parents all know us and each other so there isn't much drama from a playing time perspective. I am sure there are some that don't love the playoff PT split but they at least put on a front of understanding. And since everyone paid to be on the team, they show up for practice.
The only issue I have had with a parent is that one mom doesn't like that I yell at the players (her son in particular). I never demean the players or call them names, I just reinforce that they need to their jobs in a more old school manner when it calls for it. I also make sure to praise the kids just as loudly when they do their job correctly. And I don't yell at all the players the same because some will shut down on me if they get yelled at to much. Unfortunately for her, her son is one that responds to the whip and plays better if I get on him a bit. And I am only tough on him at times because he is good and is in our top group when he is locked in. I also yell at/get on my own son just as much if not more than any other kid on the team because he responds well to it and is one of our better players that I expect a lot from so they can't say that I am not consistent across the board. With this mom, I make sure to talk to her after the games if I had to yell at her son at any point to make sure she knows that 1) the yelling ends as soon as the game is over and 2) that I like her kid.
The only other problem we have runinto is the we have one player who should be in our top group of players but he doesn't listen, goofs off in practice, and refuses to take much coaching so he gets relegated to the "rotators". I think his mom gets upset a bit by it but we can't trust him to do what we ask and he doesn't learn from mistakes no matter how we try to coach him. As we start throwing more, he may earn some more touches because he is a decent athlete, he just doesn't have a want to be coached and get better at the moment. But overall she understands and knows that baseball is her kids real calling and football is just to be on a team with his friends.
But it really has been rewarding. We took a group of "castoffs" and coached them all the way to the championship game last season. I only call them castoffs because our school/grade has 2 teams and everyone originally signed up for the other team. When the league said we had to many players for 1 team, they picked who they wanted and we got the rest. In fairness, they picked the parents they were already friends with and it had nothing to do with playing ability but they definitely started ahead of us. Last year we beat them and then went farther than they ever have in the playoffs. I know I sound like a douche bragging about kids sports but I really don't look at that as a feather in my cap but as a testament to our kids. They work their tails off when we practice and really improved a TON over our seasons together and earned the success they had last year.
It helps that its a league that costs a decent amount to join and the team is comprised of kids from our same school. This means that the parents all know us and each other so there isn't much drama from a playing time perspective. I am sure there are some that don't love the playoff PT split but they at least put on a front of understanding. And since everyone paid to be on the team, they show up for practice.
The only issue I have had with a parent is that one mom doesn't like that I yell at the players (her son in particular). I never demean the players or call them names, I just reinforce that they need to their jobs in a more old school manner when it calls for it. I also make sure to praise the kids just as loudly when they do their job correctly. And I don't yell at all the players the same because some will shut down on me if they get yelled at to much. Unfortunately for her, her son is one that responds to the whip and plays better if I get on him a bit. And I am only tough on him at times because he is good and is in our top group when he is locked in. I also yell at/get on my own son just as much if not more than any other kid on the team because he responds well to it and is one of our better players that I expect a lot from so they can't say that I am not consistent across the board. With this mom, I make sure to talk to her after the games if I had to yell at her son at any point to make sure she knows that 1) the yelling ends as soon as the game is over and 2) that I like her kid.
The only other problem we have runinto is the we have one player who should be in our top group of players but he doesn't listen, goofs off in practice, and refuses to take much coaching so he gets relegated to the "rotators". I think his mom gets upset a bit by it but we can't trust him to do what we ask and he doesn't learn from mistakes no matter how we try to coach him. As we start throwing more, he may earn some more touches because he is a decent athlete, he just doesn't have a want to be coached and get better at the moment. But overall she understands and knows that baseball is her kids real calling and football is just to be on a team with his friends.
But it really has been rewarding. We took a group of "castoffs" and coached them all the way to the championship game last season. I only call them castoffs because our school/grade has 2 teams and everyone originally signed up for the other team. When the league said we had to many players for 1 team, they picked who they wanted and we got the rest. In fairness, they picked the parents they were already friends with and it had nothing to do with playing ability but they definitely started ahead of us. Last year we beat them and then went farther than they ever have in the playoffs. I know I sound like a douche bragging about kids sports but I really don't look at that as a feather in my cap but as a testament to our kids. They work their tails off when we practice and really improved a TON over our seasons together and earned the success they had last year.
This post was edited on 2/15/24 at 12:50 pm
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:37 pm to CatfishJohn
quote:
This is a flawed methodology. Hardest workers aren't always the best players.
Sucks, but true. The sports world is littered with hard workers riding the
same goes for work, most productive doesnt always mean hardest worker, but you reward production, then hard work and then you sit low producers to try and motivate them. still should play just not as much, atleast by 9/10.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:39 pm to CunningLinguist
no it really doesn't get better. I coached rec for the same reasons as you chose to do it. In my second or third year, I started having a mandatory player/parent meeting and I set the ground rules. explained that this was rec, and if you believe your kid deserves more playing time then find a private team. everyone plays in rec. they still got angry, but it was a lot better after I told them exactly how I was going to coach the team. some actually left, which was great
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:39 pm to CunningLinguist
I've coached soccer, baseball, softball and flag football for the last 5 years. It's brutal. No it doesn't get much better.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:41 pm to CunningLinguist
I have coached youth soccer for about 20 years, this is my last season. Can't go a single tournament without some parent getting ejected for something stupid.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:42 pm to CunningLinguist
Never gets better. Even in high school
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:42 pm to CunningLinguist
It gets a little better as the kids get older...usually the parents are better trained by then by their kids' previous coaches.
Haven't coached in a few years, but the good memories last and the bad memories fade. For me, it was the time spent with my kids. And when that one kid who is the worst player & you give them extra coaching makes a good play...all makes it worth while.
Haven't coached in a few years, but the good memories last and the bad memories fade. For me, it was the time spent with my kids. And when that one kid who is the worst player & you give them extra coaching makes a good play...all makes it worth while.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:43 pm to CunningLinguist
i've coached probably 30-40 teams, so maybe 200-300 kids and ive never had a parent question me. and the second one does, i'm taking my whistle off and giving it to them.
you need to tell the parents that. if anyone complains, it's their team. i would sit the hell out of their kids to make them either shut up or move them out.
you need to tell the parents that. if anyone complains, it's their team. i would sit the hell out of their kids to make them either shut up or move them out.
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