- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Winter Olympics
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Just got served divorce papers today
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:48 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:48 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Just wanted to reiterate what most have said here. I went through this last summer- seemingly good marriage, then all of a sudden I get served out of nowhere and she uses the "I'm afraid of you" line. I spent about 30 days in a tailspin, then got my shite together. You HAVE to take emotions out of it, as hard as it sounds. Lawyer up, get a PI and you will find out what's going on. A woman with 7 kids just doesn't wake up one morning and walk away without an escape plan.
The quicker you get back on your feet and start living like an alpha, the better you will feel. Don't be her plan B. Whatever fantasy land she is in will wear off within the next year and then she will come crawling back and then you can decide where to go from there.
Start implementing the 180 right away- LINK Go to talkaboutmarriage.com and read the infedility forums. As much as it hurts you will find many there in your shoes. Hang tough man.
The quicker you get back on your feet and start living like an alpha, the better you will feel. Don't be her plan B. Whatever fantasy land she is in will wear off within the next year and then she will come crawling back and then you can decide where to go from there.
Start implementing the 180 right away- LINK Go to talkaboutmarriage.com and read the infedility forums. As much as it hurts you will find many there in your shoes. Hang tough man.
1
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:58 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Happens all the time, my friend. Hire a good divorce attorney, get everything squared away, love your kids, ignore your ex as much as possible, and bang as many hot 20 year olds as your heArt desires 
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:59 am to slinger1317
quote:
. A woman with 7 kids just doesn't wake up one morning and walk away without an escape plan.
Something has been going on behind his back for a long time
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:59 am to Prominentwon
quote:
Who's to say that the OP is a complete prick IRL?
He's pretty much not so subtly alluded to the fact that he is.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:05 am to CelticDog
quote:
ask her to go to counseling.
2. go to group therapy. pretend for a second that your words do come across as bullying.
Stop trying to be in charge all the time. Listen.
You can save the marriage. you will have to be humble, and look for how she is right, and then apologize profusely, and then never do it again.
Worst advice ever
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:06 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Says she is afraid of me and I bully her. Never, ever raised a hand to her or even came close to doing so.
WTF? Something is really weird here. She won't try counseling?
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:09 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Very similar thing happened to me right at 23 years. Never saw it coming. 7 years later I still don't know why.
Don't listen to the "you'll get over it" crap. You won't. You can move on and keep going and make good things, but you won't get over it. It will always hurt.
Don't listen to the "you'll get over it" crap. You won't. You can move on and keep going and make good things, but you won't get over it. It will always hurt.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:11 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Been in counseling for 18 months. Every time the focus get too hot on her she decides to either change or has "scheduling" issues.
I pray my kids come out all right. Not too worried about me but can't bear to imagine their faces when they can't see daddy or mommy.
Got it. Okay, your priority at this point is simple—be the best dad you can be. Not saying that's going to be easy, but it needs to be your top priority. FWIW, you're now free from the responsibility of being the best husband you can be. Take the freed up energy and transfer it to your fatherly responsibilities.
100% concentration on being the best dad.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:15 am to rocket31
quote:Or you can fight for your family and your marriage. Screw these turds for trying to influence you to move on. If you are a Catholic, can I assume you are a Christian? If you are a Christian, you have God in you. Start making Christ the center of your life and marriage and not the pope. Your wife is obviously willing to give your marriage a chance. You said you are clueless; find out what it takes.
sack it up and move on with your life. she'll respect you a lot more for not whining about the "breakup"
quote:Ignore this kind of knee-jerk thoughts from these posters. Very few women with that many kids have the energy to cheat. Women are crazy; no doubt or question there. Use that fact and manipulate things. Sounds evil, but it isn't
She's cheating. If she isn't, she will be. I've seen the pattern from both sides of the coin. And the sooner you swallow that bitter truth, the better off you'll be. Get the emotion out of the way because at the end of the day you have to man up and be above her bull shite
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:16 am to arcalades
quote:
If you are a Christian, you have God in you.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:18 am to lsufan112001
quote:
very few marriages are making it now,
Divorce rates are actually down from 80s and 90s especially first marriages. Overall rates are skewed by a small percentage of the population that's getting divorced multiple times.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:19 am to rocket31
The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God."
This post was edited on 7/14/15 at 7:21 am
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:20 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Sorry to hear this. Was she being unfaithful ? Basically she just financially ruined you and her kids and spiritually and emotionally damaged them in a most brutal fashion.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:26 am to TheOcean
quote:
worst advice ever
Not really. If this guy wants to save his marriage, this might work.
Yes, she's probably either got some dude on the side or is carrying on an emotional affair. I have kids (not 7 thank God) and I can't imagine stepping out on my marriage, first bc I love my husband, but second bc it would destroy my kids' lives.
That being said, OP probably doesn't want to destroy his kids' lives either. He knows his sons will be more likely to become criminals or act out, his daughters more likely to be promiscuous at a young age, and his children to hate him. A man doesn't have 7 kids for shits & giggles, he loves his family and knows how it will affect them for a lifetime.
As much as it sucks for him personally, he needs to change his attitude, everything needs to be yes, of course, whatever you say, until she comes to her senses and realizes she's messing her kids up for life doing this, and returns to normal.
My guess is she married young and now feels trapped, and this new guy makes her feel special, like someone's girlfriend instead if someone's wife. If OP can take over the role of boyfriend to her and drop his bad attitude, eventually reason MAY prevail and she'll realize she's destroying a lot more than a marriage vow.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:27 am to Tiger Ryno
Can't believe there are 5 pages of y'all automatically blaming the woman without even knowing anything about the situation. She's afraid of him. Sorry, OP, but you're probably emotionally abusive (you really think just because you never raised a hand you're not a bully?).
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:30 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
7 kids
Holy shite that child support.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:31 am to arcalades
quote:
Or you can fight for your family and your marriage.
I agree with this as well. Forget all the Alpha Beta crap. I agree that you have to be strong, don't whine, complain or act wimpy. But it takes way more to be strong while fighting for the marriage and her.
With that said, don't assume it will work. It didn't for me.
Also, like many have said, be a great dad. And part of it is to treat their mom well. The kids will be much better off if you do this. This is the best thing I did. I worked hard on respecting her and being nice when she was not. The kids benefited greatly from it and still do.
Treat her like you are dating her. Again, it doesn't mean you have to be a puss.
Last thing. Read Discovering the Heart of a Woman.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:33 am to lsufan112001
quote:
very few marriages are making it now
Do what now?
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:33 am to Tigertown in ATL
If they were just in counseling mode, I could see him going the beta route and trying to make it work while she goes through her mid-life crisis or whatever. But he got served. She wants to go to war, you take her to war.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:34 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Never, ever raised a hand to her or even came close to doing so.
Plenty of ways to bully and abuse someone without even making contact. Not saying you're guilty but you might want to take a good hard look at how you treat her.....Psychologically.
5 kids worth of child support is gonna be tough. Throw in possible alimony and you only think life sucks right now.
Page 5 of 37
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News