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Started By
Message
re: People get married way too quickly
Posted on 7/3/16 at 2:58 am to AZTarheeel
Posted on 7/3/16 at 2:58 am to AZTarheeel
I had some profound response prepped, ready to advise this guy. But the truth is, nobody heeds any advice when it comes to love. You'll ask, you'll talk, you may even beg for guidance, but in the end...the heart wants what it wants and you are going to do what you think/feel is right. You are the only one who's going to have to make a decision and live with the consequences, not anybody you talk to. Sometimes it just comes down to what you can live with:
1)Can I live with marrying her too early and getting a divorce?
2)Can I live with not marrying her, letting someone else do it, and potentially regretting it the rest of my life?
It's your life. You are presented with your choices. You make your decisions. You live with them.
1)Can I live with marrying her too early and getting a divorce?
2)Can I live with not marrying her, letting someone else do it, and potentially regretting it the rest of my life?
It's your life. You are presented with your choices. You make your decisions. You live with them.
0
Posted on 7/3/16 at 7:49 am to CommoDawg
Some people just know right away .. I don't see the big deal ... I will say that you should be engaged for at least one year before you get married ... Anything less is pretty trashy
Posted on 7/3/16 at 7:51 am to CommoDawg
Not sure why all the downvotes, anyone that wants to get married after a few weeks or months is likely desperate for some reason or up to something.
If it's truely a for life decision, should be absolutely certain.
If it's truely a for life decision, should be absolutely certain.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 7:58 am to CommoDawg
I was ready to do it after a year and a half. Glad I didn't, because between then and 2 years, some damming evidence came to light as to why that would've been the biggest mistake of my life. Glad I'm not dating a compulsive lying sociopath anymore. I survived a brush with death on that one 
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:05 am to Hammertime
quote:
I was ready to do it after a year and a half. Glad I didn't, because between then and 2 years, some damming evidence came to light as to why that would've been the biggest mistake of my life. Glad I'm not dating a compulsive lying sociopath anymore. I survived a brush with death on that one
I was hoping my last gf was the one. We were friends before we started dating so she wasn't a complete unknown. I was thinking marriage even before our first date.
Once I upgraded to gf she started throwing shade. Fortunately my religion requires meeting with the priest at least six months before the wedding so I didn't do anything dumb like run to the courthouse on my lunch hour.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:37 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
Fortunately my religion requires meeting with the priest at least six months before the wedding
Hilarious.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:41 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:Catholicism is a church within the religion of Christianity
Fortunately my religion requires meeting with the priest at least six months before the wedding so I didn't do anything dumb like run to the courthouse on my lunch hour.
Pick up a book one day...
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:49 am to Rouge
Getting married quickly gets you VIP access to the proud 50% divorce club 
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:51 am to Jimmy2shoes
quote:
Getting married quickly gets you VIP access to the proud 50% divorce club
The 50% figure is outdated.
Plus it's inflated by people who get divorced multiple times.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:53 am to Bestbank Tiger
I made the decision not to do it until I finished up school, had a solid career started, and could comfortably pay for her to finish school. Engineering school saved my arse 
She was making enough money for rent and car payments only. Turns out she hated that I had money, but loved when I paid for her to live. Another reason women are retarded.
She was making enough money for rent and car payments only. Turns out she hated that I had money, but loved when I paid for her to live. Another reason women are retarded.
This post was edited on 7/3/16 at 8:58 am
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:54 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
Plus it's inflated by people who get divorced multiple times
What? Does each divorce not count towards the divorce rate? I've been divorced 6 times, but it only counts once?
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:56 am to genuineLSUtiger
quote:
Hilarious
Yeah, such a dumb idea to have a waiting period and make a couple discuss potential issues before the jump in.
I just googled to get specific numbers. This is from Latvia but it's a comparison within the same nation and culture so it's apples to apples. The pre-Cana classes result in a much lower divorce rate:
LINK
Catholics in the US also fare better, although the margin is smaller:
LINK
But sky wizard hurr durr...
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:58 am to ThatMakesSense
quote:
What? Does each divorce not count towards the divorce rate? I've been divorced 6 times, but it only counts once?
You getting divorced 6 times isn't a good reference point for someone else deciding whether to marry.
6 other people each getting divorced once would be a stronger sign to proceed with caution. One person 6 times just means marriage doesn't work for that one person.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 8:59 am to Hammertime
quote:
Turns out she hated that I had money, but loved when I paid for her to live.
Financial jealousy is an ugly monster. Had a girlfriend this exact same way, but she was just dumb with her finances and was beyond reasoning with. Goes out and buys a brand new Mercedes but can't afford a $12 lunch.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:00 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
You getting divorced 6 times isn't a good reference point for someone else deciding whether to marry.
It still counts.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:03 am to ThatMakesSense
Every situation is different. If in 10 months, they saw each other 5 times a week, then I would say they knew each other pretty well before getting married. If they only saw each other every couple weeks, then they may have not known each other as well.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:03 am to ThatMakesSense
I feel like if women make a good income marriage isnt as big a deal to them as the ones looking for security. My fiancee is just wrapping up her fellowship to become a surgeon, she's 31 and we've been together 6 years. She never once bugged me about marriage and actually said she didn't care because she didn't need a man to support her once she was done with everything. We're just getting married now because we dont want bastard children.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:23 am to CommoDawg
My grandparents dated for 2 weeks before they got engaged.
Celebrated 65 year anniversary yesterday.
A friend of my parents dated for 10 years and got divorced after 15 years of marriage.
And a friend of my parents are getting divorced after 50 years.
It's not about how long you date, it's about vetting the proper person
Celebrated 65 year anniversary yesterday.
A friend of my parents dated for 10 years and got divorced after 15 years of marriage.
And a friend of my parents are getting divorced after 50 years.
It's not about how long you date, it's about vetting the proper person
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:44 am to ThatMakesSense
Yup, I never understood it. If you hate me having money, get your own and quit letting me pay for your entire life. She was sure as shite happy when I paid her tuition, bought her books, paid her insurance, paid to fix her car, bought her a $1500 computer, going out of town, and paid for every single thing we ate and drank ever.
Broads are wild man. Nobody knows what goes on in their heads. I just got lucky getting out of that
Broads are wild man. Nobody knows what goes on in their heads. I just got lucky getting out of that
This post was edited on 7/3/16 at 9:49 am
Posted on 7/3/16 at 10:31 am to Hammertime
This thread is funny and pretty much defines the difference in people in these times.
The issue people have now is that they are OK with getting divorced. Years ago, yes Im old as shite, it was not as accepted and people didnt want to get divorced. Now couples just dont care.
I got married young, and have been ever since. Im sure we are the exception to the rule these days but it does not have to be that way
Use good judgement and dont go into it thinking you can get out if it doesnt work out
The issue people have now is that they are OK with getting divorced. Years ago, yes Im old as shite, it was not as accepted and people didnt want to get divorced. Now couples just dont care.
I got married young, and have been ever since. Im sure we are the exception to the rule these days but it does not have to be that way
Use good judgement and dont go into it thinking you can get out if it doesnt work out
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