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Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:31 pm to here4thepopcorn
quote:
Serious question. What were we supposed to do? Stay in a relationship because it was the 'right' thing to do?
He wants males who are cheated on to stay with their wives so he can call them beta cucks.
He wants abused women to stay with their husbands so he can call them trashy and weak.
He wants parents who are in abusive, toxic, or negligent relationships to stay together so that he can later criticize the children for how they turn out.
You are wasting your time with this judgmental loser.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:32 pm to here4thepopcorn
quote:this post:
I'm actually female.
quote:makes a lot more sense now. Single mom culture and their sense of self importance is toxic.
I also don't think this a-hole realizes that for a full week you are 100% hands on. Every night is homework, dinner, bath, bed. Up in the morning, work, pick up. Rinse repeat. There's no break. And I'm sure for your week off you'd rather have your son. Even when I don't have my kids it's not like I'm out partying. I'm at home doing laundry and chores. Lame.
This post was edited on 1/4/19 at 12:32 pm
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:33 pm to Displaced
quote:
sense of self importance
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:35 pm to Displaced
Are you an idiot?
Seriously. Do you have a brain tumor? When did I mention anywhere how self important I am? I was actually taking up for a single father who is in their child's life.
My ex probably helps more with his child than you do with yours.
I also stated I don't ask him for any money. So STFU man.
Seriously. Do you have a brain tumor? When did I mention anywhere how self important I am? I was actually taking up for a single father who is in their child's life.
My ex probably helps more with his child than you do with yours.
I also stated I don't ask him for any money. So STFU man.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:36 pm to Grit-Eating Shin
Trash is on both sides. Don't marry a trashy person. Don't settle. Don't get married at 22 to the person you happen to be dating at the time because it's time. Don't cheat. Don't get complacent. Etc...
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:37 pm to Displaced
Do you have an obsession with the word trashy?
I feel like anyone who uses the word trashy actually in fact is trashy.
I feel like anyone who uses the word trashy actually in fact is trashy.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:37 pm to Displaced
quote:
Sure, but the fault relies on both parties.
Of course it does. Are you perfect? No, nobody is. So whenever a divorce occurs, both parties have done some wrong in the marriage. But that's marriage, through the wrong, sticking with the commitment. Unfortunately, it takes 2. I stuck to the commitment to work through the trouble. She didn't. Why does that make me trashy?
quote:
yes.
Yeah, right. If your wife left you, you wouldn't declare yourself trashy. Your posting reveals an arrogant prick. You would become more prickish and most likely seek revenge at the expense of your children, assuming you were man enough to father any.
quote:
I would say yes in most cases. They are at least partly responsible for the change in feelings based on how they lived their life on an every day basis. You can't try to coast through your life/marriage and then be shocked when you're slapped by divorce. I will say she is the significantly trashier one in your case though as it sounds like she was adverse to fixing it.
Everyone is partly responsible for mistakes they've made in a marriage. Have you made none? But what's that got to do with divorce? Everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone gets divorced. Unless you're perfect, how can you judge someone else's marriage? Bottom line, if you stay committed to work through problems, and change, and do whatever it takes to make a marriage work, and the other party refuses, how in hell can you call the one trying trashy?
Why can't you just admit maybe you were a little too judgmental in painting all divorces with one stroke. It's OK to admit you're wrong about that, instead of doubling down on stupid.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:38 pm to here4thepopcorn
quote:I think this has already been added to the list of what makes one trashy.
feel like anyone who uses the word trashy actually in fact is trashy.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:40 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
My parents got divorced when I was a kid and I agree that it was the correct choice for them. They got married because mom got knocked up and that's just what you did in the mid 70s.
In reality, they were miserable together. They were like oil and water but both good people. Some people just aren't compatible and get married for the wrong reasons.
Divorce is horrible. I don't wish it upon anyone. But I've learned that it's not fair to judge every divorce without knowing the details.
I hope your parents made the best of it, and it didn't impact your life too negatively. Online, you seem like a pretty well adjusted guy.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:43 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
My parents got divorced when I was a kid and I agree that it was the correct choice for them
Mine did also, I was probably 4-5. It was tough on me then but it’s weird now that I’m almost 40, knowing they were married. My step mom and dad have been married approximately 30 years, my mom and step dad almost 20. If my parents ever got back together I’d be pissed and it would be weird. I get along great with my biological and step parents fortunately.
ETA: Also they all get along with each other but we (their kids)are grown now so I’m sure that helps
This post was edited on 1/4/19 at 12:45 pm
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:43 pm to Displaced
quote:Well, exactly none of this happened, so keep swinging, junior.
Trash is on both sides. Don't marry a trashy person. Don't settle. Don't get married at 22 to the person you happen to be dating at the time because it's time. Don't cheat. Don't get complacent. Etc...
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:45 pm to Festus
quote:
Bottom line, if you stay committed to work through problems, and change, and do whatever it takes to make a marriage work, and the other party refuses, how in hell can you call the one trying trashy?
Her refusal to work on the marriage is trashy. You married a trashy woman, boom... Trashy.
I don't know the inner workings of the circumstances surrounding your divorce, but people don't just wake up one day and decide out of nowhere to got divorced. Her unwillingness to work on the issues is really shitty and I'm sorry that it ruined your family. Really, everyone itt, I'm sorry your divorces ruined your families, but the appropriate time to work on the marriage is not when one party has finally had enough.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:46 pm to Festus
quote:
Divorce is horrible. I don't wish it upon anyone. But I've learned that it's not fair to judge every divorce without knowing the details. I hope your parents made the best of it, and it didn't impact your life too negatively. Online, you seem like a pretty well adjusted guy.
I have 2 sisters and we all turned out fine. All 3 LSU graduates.
I don't think making a poor choice in a spouse when you are 25 should doom you to a lifetime of unhappiness. People make mistakes, especially when they are young.
I agree that divorce should be the last option considered, especially with kids involved. It's inevitable is some situations though.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:53 pm to Displaced
quote:
Her refusal to work on the marriage is trashy. You married a trashy woman, boom... Trashy.
Well, she wasn't trashy when I married her, as far as I could tell. And the marriage lasted 18 years.
quote:
I don't know the inner workings of the circumstances surrounding your divorce, but people don't just wake up one day and decide out of nowhere to got divorced. Her unwillingness to work on the issues is really shitty and I'm sorry that it ruined your family. Really, everyone itt, I'm sorry your divorces ruined your families, but the appropriate time to work on the marriage is not when one party has finally had enough.
I know she probably didn't just wake up and feel it. She probably felt it for a while and hid it. I didn't realize it was that bad. I have some ideas of some inner demons she has fought her entire life. I had my own. Looking back, there were signs of the unhappiness, but I thought it was normal for all marriages. I wish I would have worked on them earlier and feel guilt that I didn't see it coming and try to fix it.
But when I did realize the issues were there, I did everything I could to get help, and hold the marriage and family together. I tried for years. I stopped my life entirely to patiently wait for her to change her mind. She didn't.
Ironically, she now regrets it.
I wish I would have worked harder during the marriage. I know I made mistakes. But in no way am I trashy for going through that divorce. It's shitty of you to tell people that. Especially in a thread where the OP is looking for some help, and is probably dealing with a lot of shite.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:54 pm to Displaced
quote:
I don't know the inner workings of the circumstances surrounding your divorce
I’ve never been divorced but you seem retarded, not like you are making retarded statements. You seem retarded as in I feel sorry for you and you wear a a life jacket to eat soup. Maybe you are just trolling and fishing for bites though, hopefully that’s the case.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:55 pm to Displaced
quote:It's good that you can finally admit that you're clueless.
I don't know the inner workings of the circumstances surrounding your divorce
quote:
but people don't just wake up one day and decide out of nowhere to got divorced.
Isn't this exactly what everyone has been telling you ITT?
quote:
Really, everyone itt, I'm sorry your divorces ruined your families,
My family has never been happier or more functional. I get along great with my ex and her BF. My son adores and is adored by my GF and her children. You really should have quit when I advised you to do so. You have somehow managed to make yourself look more idiotic, which is quite a feat.Posted on 1/4/19 at 12:59 pm to Grit-Eating Shin
None of what you posted makes you any less trashy...
Go back, reread the thread and stop trying to move the goalposts.
Go back, reread the thread and stop trying to move the goalposts.
This post was edited on 1/4/19 at 1:02 pm
Posted on 1/4/19 at 1:08 pm to Displaced
This is all clearly way over your head, but keep digging your heels in. I'm sure it'll somehow compensate for your insecurities.
Posted on 1/4/19 at 1:11 pm to Displaced
quote:
Go back, reread the thread and stop trying to move the goalposts.
I reread the thread. It was the OP asking for advice on shared custody.
Then some arrogant a-hole made it about himself and mocking divorce in general. Nobody moved the goalposts on the OP. You just hijacked the thread.
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