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Number of Posts:	10
Registered on:	9/19/2019
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re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:44 pm to LSUA 75

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What are your hobbies.I dated a lot until I got 25,then I got hooked on fishing.I was really kinda tired of the dating scene and actually didn’t date that much because it interfered with my fishing time.Me and couple guys were talking fishing one day and my now-wife said something about she would love to go fishing sometime,her grandfather used to take her etc.So I tell her I would take her I did,taught her how to bass fish and she caught on pretty fast.After probably 25 trips things developed from there.Ended up getting married when I was 30.I think it helps to find someone that shares your interests.
It’s not like we’re joined at the hips,she like gardening and flower beds.I don’t care for it so she does her gardening stuff and I’ll do other things I want.

In terms of hobbies I enjoy playing tennis though I've never really met any women my age or younger playing, seems like there are a lot of older women who play.

Other than tennis I enjoy being outdoors in general, especially hiking and kayaking. I also enjoy reading, especially sci-fi and fantasy novels. I love traveling when I can as well.

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re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:39 pm to Evil Little Thing

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This seems like a drastic decision. I’m sure you’ve thought it through, but be extremely sure. You could meet your dream woman next year, and she’s 30 and wants to have a child. It’s hard to be sure your feelings won’t change with the right person.

You are right and it's a decision that I've struggled with for years. The thing is it's not just a personal decision. My genes are fairly faulty, even at 35 I've suffered from asthma, high blood pressure (hereditary) and off and on hemorrhoids. My family also has a history of diabetes that I have to really watch out for as well.

Simply put, I don't think I'd want to pass on my genes to the next generation. My genes probably do need to die with me.

I figure if I did change my mind about kids I could also try for the reversal surgery or we could always go the adoption route as well.

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-4

re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:35 pm to TigerBR1111

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Cheer up. Typically the older women get the more independent they become. People realize they really need their own lives to be happy and can’t depend on other people for happiness. Relationships are great but you have to be happy with yourself first.
I’m only attracted to independent woman and it works well with two independent people.

And that's probably another problem I have. I am 35 but I am still attracted to youth. I'm not saying I want to date some college girl but I mostly find myself attracted to women in their mid and late 20s, maybe 30 or 31. I'm not completely against dating a woman older than me but I'm just typically more attracted to women a few years younger than me. I know it's probably shallow in some ways.

In many ways I've never truly had that true innocent love that most people have had in their lives and I would love to experience that at least once in my life. That's the problem I've had with dating women in their 30s, there's not as much excitement or as much living in the moment. Many women are attached to their routines and I find there to be a sense of practicality about love. Sadly practicality might be good for women who have had their fun and are ready to settle down but where was my fun? I would like to have some of that carefree love before settling down.

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-3

re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:30 pm to Jimbeaux

quote:
Are you lonely and ready for companionship?

If so, try to be a better companion.

If not, stay single and date casually.

Just know that part of living is building/planning for the future. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some of the now in order to get a better life in the future.

Picture yourself older. Are you okay with being alone in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s? No family. No passing on your traditions?

I understand what you mean and yes I am truly trying to make myself a better companion. You are right that the idea of me being alone when I get older and after my parents have passed does worry me.

The whole kids and passing down my genes/blood thing has never really concerned me. I don't plan on having kids and in fact have scheduled a vasectomy (I've been considering it for years now and finally decided to just do it and get it over with) in October.

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-8

re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:15 pm to TigerBR1111

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You’re an independent man. You just need an equally independent woman to make it work.

How many women are there that are truly independent though? And if we're both that independent how would it work?

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re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:14 pm to halleburton

quote:
You havent found the right girl. Pussy. Or subconciously,, you like being alone. Your call

That's probably the internal conflict. Subconsciously I probably do like being alone. With that said part of me is also scared of being alone. Especially when I've see a lot of my friends get hitched and slowly fade out of my life (being too busy to hang out or do stuff) and I know that once my parents are gone I really won't have anyone I'm particularly close to (outside of my sister, brother in law and nieces).

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re: The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 9:03 pm to Evil Little Thing

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How old are you? Have you had any long term relationships or been in love before? If so, what happened?

I'm 35. I've had 2 relationships in my life that last a few months but never truly anything long term. For a long time I wasn't even interested in relationships, I wanted to live the single life. In my 30s now I've realized that while there is freedom to that there is also a hollowness to that experience.

The problem is I feel like maybe I've entered the game too late. That I really am not very experienced when it comes to love and dating and maybe don't understand what I truly want. But the thing is I like the concept of loving someone, the concept of being in a relationship, waking up to a woman next to me.

A good example, I just went on a date tonight. By the woman's profile I though she was very attractive and in terms of our messages I thought we would have some chemistry. The date itself wasn't bad but it wasn't what I had hoped it would be. She's a big time extrovert and likes to always be active and hosting/going to events and me being an introvert I have no problems going hours or even a day without seeing another person. I can easily be okay just being by myself whereas she commented that would drive her crazy.

I'm still interested in her but I imagine it probably won't go anywhere. It just seems weird that I'll get excited about the potential of something but then every time I go on a date there's just no spark.

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re: Houston Flood Event Check-In

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 8:54 pm to Chicken

Everyone stay safe over there. Prayers going to the Houston area and all of Southeast Texas.

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re: How do we get screwed this week by the refs?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 8:53 pm to ezride25

They could make us forfeit the game before it even starts, lol.

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The Concept of Love?

Posted by CoastalSaint on 9/19/19 at 8:53 pm

After not dating for awhile I decided to start dating again about 6 months ago. I've had some success here and there getting dates but nothing has really come out of it.

The reason I bring this up, does anyone here love the concept of love more so than actually loving someone? I say this because doing the whole online dating thing, I'll find a woman I find attractive and somewhat like, start talking to them and maybe (which is probably foolish) start to build an image of that woman. Then when it actually gets to the date that image is completely wrong. More often than not I have found myself being bored with these women or just not being able to see myself actually being this woman. Or maybe I'm somewhat interested but have a hard time seeing this woman actually fitting into my life or me fitting into hers. I haven't made it past a second date with any woman I have dated since I have started dating again.

Is it maybe to the point where I love the idea of love more than actually loving someone? Or that I've become so used to being single and largely able to do anything I want that subconsciously it's hard for me to truly want a woman knowing that I would give some of that freedom up? I'm truly trying to figure out what's wrong with me in terms of dating.

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