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BigTimer085
| Favorite team: | LSU  |
| Location: | |
| Biography: | |
| Interests: | |
| Occupation: | |
| Number of Posts: | 25 |
| Registered on: | 6/24/2022 |
| Online Status: | Not Online |
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re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/27/22 at 6:42 am to Bawbs34C
quote:
And if your wondering about a child’s emotions at 26 months old. Three days after the delivery of her brother and back at home putting her down to sleep without our usual routine. I explained to her that bubby died and was not coming home. The sound she made was the same sound I made when the cowardly doctor was unable to say the words that my baby was dead. I had to say them out loud
This is heart wrenching.
I am so sorry.
0
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/27/22 at 6:41 am to pelicanpride
quote:
I’m so sorry that there have been so many cruel people responding to your post.
It had been several years since this whole thing happened, and I understand this is an issue people are very passionate about. There has also been an equal amount of understand and supportive posts. The reason for sharing the story would be completely lost if I started responding to all the critical posts.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/27/22 at 6:35 am to HubbaBubba
quote:
That's because it's an alter account, that just signed up yesterday
I figured that part was pretty obvious. The main reason for the alter is due to people on here who know me and work with my wife.
She doesn't want our business brought to her work.
quote:
Likelihood of him bullshiteting the OT is about 95%
Still 100% truthful.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/26/22 at 6:41 am to spacewrangler
I'm very aware what she looked like. We held her and sobbed together after the procedure.
We had her cremated and I put her ashes under a tree I planted in our backyard.
We had her cremated and I put her ashes under a tree I planted in our backyard.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/26/22 at 6:40 am to jmorr34
I love to read the success stories.huge praise to you guys and your beautiful young man.
Unfortunately our prognosis was much more complicated than the typical (if there such a thing) HLHS.
Unfortunately our prognosis was much more complicated than the typical (if there such a thing) HLHS.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/26/22 at 6:35 am to Lsupimp
quote:yes. It was his office.
You may have answered. Was it Dr Warren Hearn ?
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 2:06 pm to RAB
quote:
Abortion on demand was legal in literally all 50 states until yesterday morning
at 22 weeks? this is simply not correct.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 2:05 pm to rexorotten
quote:
and the next couple is like I didn't pull out fast enough.
No one like this was there in our case. I don't imagine a ton of guys like that actually attend the procedure.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:53 pm to DaBeerz
quote:I know it sucks to say, but this reality is a part of our decision that we had to discuss.
nd no way we could have afforded the medical bills that would ensue
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:52 pm to GRTiger
quote:
If your wife's left boob were to fall on a food scale that was set to measure in grams, what would the scale read?
I don't know exactly. less than the right one
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:49 pm to GRTiger
quote:
How much money do you make, before taxes
enough to live comfortably. not enough to easily afford current gas prices.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:28 pm to GentleJackJones
No, at the time, we read tons of stories related to our condition. Positive and negative. Whether you agree with it or not, we made an informed decision.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:24 pm to RileyTime
quote:
While your situation was terrible, you are not the norm. Not even in the 1%.
I understand that. The .1% should have the option easily available though.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:23 pm to RileyTime
quote:
Battle for what? Because just a few months ago the battle was to remove the term mother and make it birthing person because men could also give birth.
this is a non sequitur.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:14 pm to TDTOM
quote:
Nothing that happened last Thursday has changed anything that you just mentioned.
I know, but you are being obtuse if you think yesterday's decision isn't the beginning of a new battle.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:13 pm to Vamos Brandonos
quote:
And yet you have thrown your daughter under the bus twice in this thread.
Do you?
I don't think that the factors we considered related to a decision like this are considered a cop out. Maybe you do, and that's fine.
We are aware that we took away her shot. We are aware that we are the ones who ended her life, not her disease. I hold no delusions about what we did.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:06 pm to Stiles
quote:
Have you and the wife had a discussion and come to a decision to tell your daughter that she was going to be a sister when she is age appropriate?
Not yet. I think it is something we are going to have to talk to our children about (we have since had another child) when they start their family planning as this heart defect is likely a genetic deformity and something they need to be aware of.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:04 pm to Adam Banks
quote:
I feel like this is a fake story that is supposed to make me feel bad for being pro life. Particularly given he shared a link to other stories.
100% real
quote:never claimed it as merciful. I'm just trying to draw awareness to the reality of situations that are brushed aside as "oh, that only like 0.1% of all abortions though."
m not sure how thats supposed to be merciful as this is trying to be portrayed as.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 1:01 pm to Vamos Brandonos
quote:We do. We tried therapy afterwards but neither of us found it very helpful.
You need to accept that this was 100% your decision and your consequence
Ultimately, we feel bad about our decision and the entire situation, but do not regret our decision.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:57 pm to QJenk
quote:
But I do hope stories like yours don't get completely overlooked in the times to come.
That is really the intent of my decision to post this here.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:52 pm to SUB
quote:
Why would there be a push for this?
because that is what the news is reporting that house republicans have their sights on after yesterday's ruling.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:50 pm to Vamos Brandonos
quote:Yes, and we strongly considered it, but we really didn't want our 3 year old to watch their newborn baby sister die on a hospital bed. And it sucks to say this as a factor, we were not financially prepared for medical costs associated with what it would take to give her a 5% chance of survival.
u do realize you could have just carried the baby and let nature take its course?
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:42 pm to keks tadpole
quote:
I have to believe under these circumstances, the waiting room was a group therapy session.
Pretty much. As the women are pulled back for various parts of the procedure, we just got to talking rather than sobbing quietly.
re: My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:35 pm to LongueCarabine
I agree, but if there is a push to put a national 15 week ban in place, they we would not have had any option.
My wife and I had an abortion. AMA
Posted by BigTimer085 on 6/25/22 at 12:31 pm
I wanted to share our story due to everything that is going on recently and hopefully open a few minds to a rarely thought about reason for abortions.
First off, at the time, we had an almost 3 year old and were very excited to expand our family. At the anatomy scan, they were not able to get a good view of the whole heart and only 3 of the chambers were flared up. In the following days, we went to the high risk OB and they got better scans and diagnosed our unborn baby with a hypoplastic right heart syndrome with pulmonary atresia. Basically this means that the right ventricle of her heart never developed and therefore the pulmonary valve was sealed shut. Our baby had a 3 chamber heart.
In the coming days, we got a second opinion, and spoke with several doctor friends. Our outlook was horrible. The severity of the issues gave us about a 10% chance she would survive the first week. 100% chance she would require multiple open heart surgeries in the first year, and 100% chance she would need a heart replacement withing the first 10 years if she survived the first year which they gave us a "not good" answer when asking her chances of surviving the first year.
All things considered, we decided to terminate the pregnancy at 22 weeks. There were many reasons we considered, and ultimately didn't want our 3 year old's first memory to be the death of baby sister.
Due to our state of residence, this was not legal unless the mother's life was in danger so we had to go to Boulder, CO to have it done. And we did. It was a 3 day process. Everyone there was there terminating a wanted pregnancy. one couple had a baby with spinal Bifida iirc.
Yes, I still feel shame about it. Yes, I often think about what could have been, but ultimately I believe we made the best choice for our family.
There are hundreds of stories similar to ours on the message board Endingwantedpregnancies.com. they are all tragic, and they all are very hard to read.
All that to say, not everyone gets abortions as a form of birth control. There are situations where the baby has a deformity that makes them not compatible with life and in those cases, I believe terminating the pregnancy should be safely and easily available. Many issues such as ours aren't even diagnosed until the anatomy scan (20 weeks).
All that said, I expect the coming judgement and downvotes, but feel free to ask me anything and I'll do my best to answer.
First off, at the time, we had an almost 3 year old and were very excited to expand our family. At the anatomy scan, they were not able to get a good view of the whole heart and only 3 of the chambers were flared up. In the following days, we went to the high risk OB and they got better scans and diagnosed our unborn baby with a hypoplastic right heart syndrome with pulmonary atresia. Basically this means that the right ventricle of her heart never developed and therefore the pulmonary valve was sealed shut. Our baby had a 3 chamber heart.
In the coming days, we got a second opinion, and spoke with several doctor friends. Our outlook was horrible. The severity of the issues gave us about a 10% chance she would survive the first week. 100% chance she would require multiple open heart surgeries in the first year, and 100% chance she would need a heart replacement withing the first 10 years if she survived the first year which they gave us a "not good" answer when asking her chances of surviving the first year.
All things considered, we decided to terminate the pregnancy at 22 weeks. There were many reasons we considered, and ultimately didn't want our 3 year old's first memory to be the death of baby sister.
Due to our state of residence, this was not legal unless the mother's life was in danger so we had to go to Boulder, CO to have it done. And we did. It was a 3 day process. Everyone there was there terminating a wanted pregnancy. one couple had a baby with spinal Bifida iirc.
Yes, I still feel shame about it. Yes, I often think about what could have been, but ultimately I believe we made the best choice for our family.
There are hundreds of stories similar to ours on the message board Endingwantedpregnancies.com. they are all tragic, and they all are very hard to read.
All that to say, not everyone gets abortions as a form of birth control. There are situations where the baby has a deformity that makes them not compatible with life and in those cases, I believe terminating the pregnancy should be safely and easily available. Many issues such as ours aren't even diagnosed until the anatomy scan (20 weeks).
All that said, I expect the coming judgement and downvotes, but feel free to ask me anything and I'll do my best to answer.
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