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Message
Tips for helping a 9-year-old with athleticism and coordination?
Posted on 5/25/23 at 6:12 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 6:12 am
My son is about to turn ten, and he’s starting to notice the gap between his athletic ability and his peers. He’s slow, uncoordinated, and lacks in-game awareness. I don’t say those things to be mean or overly critical. It’s just where he’s at in his development.
Of course as his dad, I’m blaming myself for it. I never wanted to be one of those dads that pushes his kids to be super athletes or anything. We’ve worked together on things every now and then. I coached his rec soccer team the past three seasons. But I guess I should have been working more one on one with him.
But then again, he’s pretty difficult to coach. He’s not argumentative or disrespectful, but he’s whiny and talkative. For example, I took him to the local basketball court to work on his shooting and he was struggling to make baskets. When I pushed him to take more shots, he broke down and nearly cried because “it was too hard.” He’s never really had much perseverance. I think it’s due to being a gifted kid where most school things come easily. Athletics don’t, and he doesn’t have the ability to overcome challenges.
Anyways, any dad tips here? I’m not only looking for workout ideas that are appropriate for his age but also parenting tips on how to handle his personality without being an a-hole. Or maybe it’s time to be more of an a-hole?
I should note that the impetus for this post is that he did not make the competitive soccer program. Literally all 7 of his teammates that tried out made it. He’s the only one not to, and I have to break the news to him later today. To say he’ll be devastated and embarrassed is an understatement.
Of course as his dad, I’m blaming myself for it. I never wanted to be one of those dads that pushes his kids to be super athletes or anything. We’ve worked together on things every now and then. I coached his rec soccer team the past three seasons. But I guess I should have been working more one on one with him.
But then again, he’s pretty difficult to coach. He’s not argumentative or disrespectful, but he’s whiny and talkative. For example, I took him to the local basketball court to work on his shooting and he was struggling to make baskets. When I pushed him to take more shots, he broke down and nearly cried because “it was too hard.” He’s never really had much perseverance. I think it’s due to being a gifted kid where most school things come easily. Athletics don’t, and he doesn’t have the ability to overcome challenges.
Anyways, any dad tips here? I’m not only looking for workout ideas that are appropriate for his age but also parenting tips on how to handle his personality without being an a-hole. Or maybe it’s time to be more of an a-hole?
I should note that the impetus for this post is that he did not make the competitive soccer program. Literally all 7 of his teammates that tried out made it. He’s the only one not to, and I have to break the news to him later today. To say he’ll be devastated and embarrassed is an understatement.
10
Posted on 5/25/23 at 6:45 am to StringedInstruments
Confidence comes with familiarity. He’ll be fine. Be patient and supportive.
Get him a jump rope. Make sure it’s the proper length. It’s hard at first, but you progress quickly which gives them confidence. Fast feet will make him more coordinated and a better athlete.
Basketball is a great sport for him to play especially if he plays soccer. Basketball requires you to keep your head up and find teammates. Very important attribute in soccer.
Help him do handstands. Make sure he is pushing away from the ground. Helps with confidence and gives him strength. Easy to do and you don’t need to spend a lot of time doing it each day. It becomes super fun for them too.
If you have a pull-up bar, let him hang.
These are very simple changes that can give him massive boosts. I know he will do great.
Get him a jump rope. Make sure it’s the proper length. It’s hard at first, but you progress quickly which gives them confidence. Fast feet will make him more coordinated and a better athlete.
Basketball is a great sport for him to play especially if he plays soccer. Basketball requires you to keep your head up and find teammates. Very important attribute in soccer.
Help him do handstands. Make sure he is pushing away from the ground. Helps with confidence and gives him strength. Easy to do and you don’t need to spend a lot of time doing it each day. It becomes super fun for them too.
If you have a pull-up bar, let him hang.
These are very simple changes that can give him massive boosts. I know he will do great.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 7:05 am to StringedInstruments
As a once chubby, uncoordinated 9 year old that sucked at all sports that grew into an above average athlete by the time he was 14-15, I say you still have a few years for him to figure it out.
Like Sabi said, building confidence at that age is important. Find the thing that he is good at and really focus on that and build from there. And I don't mean overall sport. I mean if he can kick the ball hard or can at least play defense and rebound or something like that. Find one skill to focus on and get good at to build the confidence.
But overall, I wouldn't worry too much. He has time. Trust me.
Like Sabi said, building confidence at that age is important. Find the thing that he is good at and really focus on that and build from there. And I don't mean overall sport. I mean if he can kick the ball hard or can at least play defense and rebound or something like that. Find one skill to focus on and get good at to build the confidence.
But overall, I wouldn't worry too much. He has time. Trust me.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 7:14 am to StringedInstruments
plain and simple he is slow and uncoordinated because he is weak relative to his bodyweight.
at 10 its time to start lifting, plain and simple. he needs to get where he can do legit pushups and chinups and hold the positions at different points of the movement. he needs to be able to do animal crawls and he needs to be able to do goblet squats, lunges, reverse lunges and working toward a nordic curl
in the end speed comes from strength, atleast to a point. most kids are weak relative to bodyweight when it comes to the squat and this kills their speed. once you can box squat 1.75x BW @ 0.6m/s then you are maxing out speed(need to maintain this ratio as you gain weight) and then you can start looking at weaknesses and addressing those.
FTR i my oldest is similar. he played his last little league game the other night and has to watch his two younger brother excel in travel baseball. He doesnt work nearly as hard as them in baseball and it shows. He finally is all about getting stronger for football now that he is in middle school. if you are not blessed, you have to outwork you competition. life aint fair and everyone is not blessed with natural athletic ability and natural strength.
give me a few min and i will post something for you.
at 10 its time to start lifting, plain and simple. he needs to get where he can do legit pushups and chinups and hold the positions at different points of the movement. he needs to be able to do animal crawls and he needs to be able to do goblet squats, lunges, reverse lunges and working toward a nordic curl
in the end speed comes from strength, atleast to a point. most kids are weak relative to bodyweight when it comes to the squat and this kills their speed. once you can box squat 1.75x BW @ 0.6m/s then you are maxing out speed(need to maintain this ratio as you gain weight) and then you can start looking at weaknesses and addressing those.
FTR i my oldest is similar. he played his last little league game the other night and has to watch his two younger brother excel in travel baseball. He doesnt work nearly as hard as them in baseball and it shows. He finally is all about getting stronger for football now that he is in middle school. if you are not blessed, you have to outwork you competition. life aint fair and everyone is not blessed with natural athletic ability and natural strength.
give me a few min and i will post something for you.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 7:17 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 7:29 am to lsu777
here you go, here is a sample program. let him play sports on the other days for any conditioning he may need. can cut this down to 2 days a week to start if you wanted too.
if you need more help yu can email me...lsu777td
gmail
if you need more help yu can email me...lsu777td
gmail
Posted on 5/25/23 at 8:23 am to lsu777
I really appreciate this, guys.
Salmon - It's good to hear stories of those that blossomed later. My son isn't chubby though. Quite the opposite. He's so thin he's almost sickly looking. Having coke-bottle glasses and being the gifted nerd doesn't help. He wants to compete though. He loves sports.
We'll pick up the workout plan, LSU777. He's always enjoyed doing some lifting with me when I'm working out. I'll put him on the routine and teach him how to be consistent with it.
The biggest hurdle will be overcoming his whining. He'll be excited at first, but I can already see him wanting to quit as the weeks go on. I'll have to build in some positive reinforcement in the form of tangible rewards as he reaches benchmarks.
Salmon - It's good to hear stories of those that blossomed later. My son isn't chubby though. Quite the opposite. He's so thin he's almost sickly looking. Having coke-bottle glasses and being the gifted nerd doesn't help. He wants to compete though. He loves sports.
We'll pick up the workout plan, LSU777. He's always enjoyed doing some lifting with me when I'm working out. I'll put him on the routine and teach him how to be consistent with it.
The biggest hurdle will be overcoming his whining. He'll be excited at first, but I can already see him wanting to quit as the weeks go on. I'll have to build in some positive reinforcement in the form of tangible rewards as he reaches benchmarks.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 8:35 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I really appreciate this, guys.
Salmon - It's good to hear stories of those that blossomed later. My son isn't chubby though. Quite the opposite. He's so thin he's almost sickly looking. Having coke-bottle glasses and being the gifted nerd doesn't help. He wants to compete though. He loves sports.
We'll pick up the workout plan, LSU777. He's always enjoyed doing some lifting with me when I'm working out. I'll put him on the routine and teach him how to be consistent with it.
The biggest hurdle will be overcoming his whining. He'll be excited at first, but I can already see him wanting to quit as the weeks go on. I'll have to build in some positive reinforcement in the form of tangible rewards as he reaches benchmarks.
man your kid sounds almost exactly like my oldest other than the glasses and my is a tad overweight compared to being super skinny. but gifted and a tendency to whine some
what helped him a lot was football in middle school. he learned that if he wanted to play and loved the sport as much as he says...he better learn to like to lift and learn to embrace the process some.
he has always been opposite of my other kids and unfortunately more like his mom when it comes to the process. he has always loved the competition and the results but hated the process
middle school(6th grade) football this year changed that quickly when it comes to things involved with football. Similar with throwing in track.
now he loves to workout and has embraced getting stronger.
if you put him on the workout plan i listed for 3-6 months and then progress him to wendlers beginner prep school, i think you will see different kid by 8th grade.
but he has to learn to eat and feed the beast and unfortunately you are going to have to monitor that some. this is a huge issue in my house as my oldest takes add medicine and its hard for him to eat at times.
so we try and get in 750cals minimum at breakfast and shoot for 1000.
at lunch i pack him meat and rice of somekind or something like meat sauce and pasta. no snacks like little debbies. this forces him to eat the main food first.
after school he has a snack, but rule is...must get 20g protein in the snack. if he wants a snack cake after...fine, but must get protein in first of some sort. usually a sandwich or a precooked hamburger patty etc.
at dinner i make sure they get lots of protein
then before bed...he drinks a 40g protein fairlife shake.
my middle kid burns way more calories even though he is 40 lbs lighter so he has 2 shakes a day
ETA...also if your kid likes something like steak....cook the shite out of it. feed it to them multiple times a day.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 8:36 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 8:39 am to StringedInstruments
I played soccer when I was 5 and I just didn’t understand the concept of sports or competition. I just looked at it as time to see my friends.
My dad tried to coach me up at home. He had me doing sprints and running laps around the house. I cried because I thought I was being punished. I didn’t understand the idea that training builds you up stronger for later. He eventually quit trying.
Admittedly, I was only five but I didn’t play organized sports again until freshman year football. I was slow and weak. Over the four years, I learned how to lift and had a more competitive attitude. By the end of it all I was definitely faster and power cleaned 225 at 145 lb body weight.
Never really played except for a couple of catches and a touchdown on varsity my junior year. That used to bother me a lot, but now I’m just happy I learned how to lift and developed a habit of pushing myself.
My dad tried to coach me up at home. He had me doing sprints and running laps around the house. I cried because I thought I was being punished. I didn’t understand the idea that training builds you up stronger for later. He eventually quit trying.
Admittedly, I was only five but I didn’t play organized sports again until freshman year football. I was slow and weak. Over the four years, I learned how to lift and had a more competitive attitude. By the end of it all I was definitely faster and power cleaned 225 at 145 lb body weight.
Never really played except for a couple of catches and a touchdown on varsity my junior year. That used to bother me a lot, but now I’m just happy I learned how to lift and developed a habit of pushing myself.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 8:41 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 8:53 am to StringedInstruments
The simple answer is to let him play multiple sports, ones of HIS choosing. I am a huge fan of this approach as opposed to micro managing a 9 year old's macros, "workout program", etc. I would encourage bodyweight training like pushups/pullups, etc but I would not pressure him.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 8:55 am to StringedInstruments
Tips:
Don’t overwhelm with concepts and strength training principles. Just say this is what it takes and let them get training. They’ll learn along the way.
Turn sprints or running into a game or competition. Against you or against the clock. Kids love when you say see how fast you can do it and I’ll time you. Then next time tell them to beat the time. Also helps illustrate improvement.
Or another example of turning it into a game, I let my girls set up weight plates, plyo boxes, and sand bags on the ground as an obstacle course. They were jumping from plate to plate and then onto the bags or boxes. Basically they were doing broad jumps and box jumps for like 30 minutes.
Don’t overwhelm with concepts and strength training principles. Just say this is what it takes and let them get training. They’ll learn along the way.
Turn sprints or running into a game or competition. Against you or against the clock. Kids love when you say see how fast you can do it and I’ll time you. Then next time tell them to beat the time. Also helps illustrate improvement.
Or another example of turning it into a game, I let my girls set up weight plates, plyo boxes, and sand bags on the ground as an obstacle course. They were jumping from plate to plate and then onto the bags or boxes. Basically they were doing broad jumps and box jumps for like 30 minutes.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 9:21 am to SaintTiger80
quote:
Tips:
Don’t overwhelm with concepts and strength training principles. Just say this is what it takes and let them get training. They’ll learn along the way.
Turn sprints or running into a game or competition. Against you or against the clock. Kids love when you say see how fast you can do it and I’ll time you. Then next time tell them to beat the time. Also helps illustrate improvement.
Or another example of turning it into a game, I let my girls set up weight plates, plyo boxes, and sand bags on the ground as an obstacle course. They were jumping from plate to plate and then onto the bags or boxes. Basically they were doing broad jumps and box jumps for like 30 minutes.
all great things
Posted on 5/25/23 at 9:24 am to TigerAlum93
quote:
The simple answer is to let him play multiple sports, ones of HIS choosing. I am a huge fan of this approach as opposed to micro managing a 9 year old's macros, "workout program", etc. I would encourage bodyweight training like pushups/pullups, etc but I would not pressure him.
what you are saying is....dont help the kid get better at sports? and the answer is play more sports?
yea thats not how it works despite so many wanting it to.
99% of the time kids are slow and uncoordinated for 1 of two reasons
1) their reletive body strength is really low. you see this in the better kids being able to do pullups over those who are not
2) their rate of force development is very slow. in other words they may be strong in the fact they can move a heavy weight. but asking them to move a light weight fast....yea they cant.
many times its both reason.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 9:41 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 10:25 am to lsu777
quote:
what you are saying is....dont help the kid get better at sports? and the answer is play more sports?
yea thats not how it works despite so many wanting it to.
99% of the time kids are slow and uncoordinated for 1 of two reasons
1) their reletive body strength is really low. you see this in the better kids being able to do pullups over those who are not
2) their rate of force development is very slow. in other words they may be strong in the fact they can move a heavy weight. but asking them to move a light weight fast....yea they cant.
many times its both reason.
That is not what I said. Yeah, that is how it works for many. Google some of the Pro drafts, you will see that few high draft picks specialized at these ages, they played multiple sports. Playing multiple sports has a "cross training" affect while keeping it fun and age appropriate. Playing basketball is plyometric in nature, as well as a great conditioner. Few elementary age kids want to "work out", and yes, without sounding judgemental I think it is wrong to make a kid do that at that age. Soccer can teach many different skills, coordination, short area quickness. Odell Beckham, Nomar Garciaprra, and Wes Welker were outstanding soccer players and credit this to much of their success in their respective sports. Playing multiple sports helps reduce repetitive stress injuries, keeps minds/bodies fresh, reduces burnout, makes for an overall all around better athlete.
I agree on the relative strength comment. Not opposed to introducing/encouraging kids to learn basic strength patterns at this age IF they want to. Plenty of time to hit the weight room hard post puberty. Not here to argue with you. You da man. I'm older and have done this a few times, not my first rodeo, been fortunate to coach/train some great kids, many who played D1 and even Pro ball, all are great men/husbands/fathers now, which in the end is what matters most.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 11:14 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:19 am to TigerAlum93
I have the same problem. My son has hated every sport or activity we signed him up for. He isn't athletic at all.
When I try to work with him, he complains and says he doesn't 'want' to. I told him we will stick with basketball for now. He was ok with it. But anytime we play, he ends up wanting to stop not even a minute in. It makes it very difficult to work with him when he has ZERO interest in doing it.
I just want him to develop a little athleticism. I am not expecting him to be a super star or anything. But a little endurance would be nice.
When I try to work with him, he complains and says he doesn't 'want' to. I told him we will stick with basketball for now. He was ok with it. But anytime we play, he ends up wanting to stop not even a minute in. It makes it very difficult to work with him when he has ZERO interest in doing it.
I just want him to develop a little athleticism. I am not expecting him to be a super star or anything. But a little endurance would be nice.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:24 am to lsu777
Great thread. Makes me feel a little less guilty about pushing and demanding more from my 4 year old. He has ability, but I can’t hold his attention for longer than 2 minutes. He’s already doing some box jumps, balance and plyo type work. For those with younger kids, Kidstrong has been great for my son, physically and confidence wise.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:36 am to Chimlim
I
Keep trying/encouraging him Chimlim! Perhaps you have just not found the right sport yet. Might need to try an unconventional sport, say Jui Jitsu/MMA, etc, something outside of the "big three" (football/basketball/baseb all). While my kids ended up playing past high school, my reason for them playing athletics had little to do with their sports careers and more to do with the adults they would become. I am a HUGE believer that all kids should play a team sport, I truly believe it makes for a better adult. SO many life lessons sports teaches that CANNOT be taught in the classroom, in addition to getting them outside and off their phones/video games.
quote:
have the same problem. My son has hated every sport or activity we signed him up for. He isn't athletic at all.
When I try to work with him, he complains and says he doesn't 'want' to. I told him we will stick with basketball for now. He was ok with it. But anytime we play, he ends up wanting to stop not even a minute in. It makes it very difficult to work with him when he has ZERO interest in doing it.
I just want him to develop a little athleticism. I am not expecting him to be a super star or anything. But a little endurance would be nice.
Keep trying/encouraging him Chimlim! Perhaps you have just not found the right sport yet. Might need to try an unconventional sport, say Jui Jitsu/MMA, etc, something outside of the "big three" (football/basketball/baseb all). While my kids ended up playing past high school, my reason for them playing athletics had little to do with their sports careers and more to do with the adults they would become. I am a HUGE believer that all kids should play a team sport, I truly believe it makes for a better adult. SO many life lessons sports teaches that CANNOT be taught in the classroom, in addition to getting them outside and off their phones/video games.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:49 am to TigerAlum93
quote:
That is not what I said. Yeah, that is how it works for many. Google some of the Pro drafts, you will see that few high draft picks specialized at these ages, they played multiple sports. Playing multiple sports has a "cross training" affect while keeping it fun and age appropriate. Playing basketball is plyometric in nature, as well as a great conditioner. Few elementary age kids want to "work out", and yes, without sounding judgemental I think it is wrong to make a kid do that at that age. Soccer can teach many different skills, coordination, short area quickness. Odell Beckham, Nomar Garciaprra, and Wes Welker were outstanding soccer players and credit this to much of their success in their respective sports. Playing multiple sports helps reduce repetitive stress injuries, keeps minds/bodies fresh, reduces burnout, makes for an overall all around better athlete.
i think you misunderstood what i was saying. my point was just playing other sports is not going to suddenly make you better at other sports. can it help overall athletisim...of course but not to any real exent that is going to make much of a difference and for every multi sport athlete there is one that specialized.
as far as the workout...yea thats a dad son thing and they have to talk about it. explain why it matters etc etc. Kid has to buy in or its not going to work.
quote:
I agree on the relative strength comment. Not opposed to introducing/encouraging kids to learn basic strength patterns at this age IF they want to. Plenty of time to hit the weight room hard post puberty. Not here to argue with you. You da man. I'm older and have done this a few times, not my first rodeo, been fortunate to coach/train some great kids, many who played D1 and even Pro ball, all are great men/husbands/fathers now, which in the end is what matters most.
agree a 1000%
and from what the OP posted....im not sure his kid likes sports or he doesnt like not being good at them.
sports are a lot more fun when you are good at them...barrelling up a shot to the outfield, big shot on goal, making the game winning 3 pointer, score a touchdown etc etc are all fun and much more fun than being average at something.
quickest way for kids to get better at something
1) practice and fix tech
2) get stronger
in the case of the OP it sounds like the kid is unathletic and much of that comes from being weaker than other kids relative to bodyweight. thats usually the fastest way to increase speed and athletism.
as far as the comment about age appropriate....weights are appropriate for any age so long as
1) they have the ability to focus and pay attention so they dont hurt themselves
2) they actually want to do and are not being forced. being forced will just cause issues down the line and make him see lifting as punishment.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:51 am to Chimlim
How old Chimlim? Sounds like my son but I guess mine is a little younger (4 as I mentioned).
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:54 am to TigerAlum93
quote:
Keep trying/encouraging him Chimlim! Perhaps you have just not found the right sport yet. Might need to try an unconventional sport, say Jui Jitsu/MMA, etc, something outside of the "big three" (football/basketball/baseb all). While my kids ended up playing past high school, my reason for them playing athletics had little to do with their sports careers and more to do with the adults they would become. I am a HUGE believer that all kids should play a team sport, I truly believe it makes for a better adult. SO many life lessons sports teaches that CANNOT be taught in the classroom, in addition to getting them outside and off their phones/video games.
could not agree more
could things
1) the big 4 team sports are not for everyone. find what they want to do...might be mma, karate, gymnastics, ninja warrior, bmx, boxing, wrestling, golf, tennis, fishing, hunting etc etc. Everyone should play team sports until 10 though, lots of life lessons as mentioned
2) sports are not for everyone. hate to say it, but many kids dont like them especially as they get older. Just have to make sure they are getting exercise in some form.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 12:24 pm to lsu777
quote:
the big 4 team sports are not for everyone. find what they want to do...might be mma, karate, gymnastics, ninja warrior, bmx, boxing, wrestling,
All four of my kids did Ninja Warrior around the ages of 7-12 (all did soccer early) and all of them finished markedly more athletic than before. The teens moved on to high school sports of their choosing, the littles are still dabbling in soccer, wrestling, and gymnastics.
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