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re: How would you handle a financially irresponsible mother in law?
Posted on 12/28/17 at 4:21 pm to Tigerfan56
Posted on 12/28/17 at 4:21 pm to Tigerfan56
She sounds like more than just a financial disaster. She may need psychological help first and foremost. Was she always like this or did something major happen in her life like losing a spouse to death or divorce? Offer to help her budget, cut costs, and change her lifestyle.
1
Posted on 12/28/17 at 4:25 pm to sneakytiger
quote:
She sounds like more than just a financial disaster.
She is
quote:
She may need psychological help first and foremost
She does. Alcoholism and depression. Not stemming from any particular recent life event, I think she is just lonely. My wife has tried countless times to get her to seek help, but she won't. It tears my wife apart but I've told her you can only do so much, she has to want to help herself to get help.
Posted on 12/28/17 at 5:20 pm to Tigerfan56
Something else to consider is Long-Term Care Insurance. It will cost here money that she may not already have, but maybe she can get on some kind of a budget. Otherwise, this costly burden will definitely fall on you.
That being said, we brought this up to my MIL one time and she got really pissed. One of the top things that parents do not want to be told about from their kids is money
That being said, we brought this up to my MIL one time and she got really pissed. One of the top things that parents do not want to be told about from their kids is money
Posted on 12/28/17 at 7:33 pm to meeple
Her long term care costs are not anyone’s responsibility but her own. LTC insurance is pretty terrible stuff, at least the kind she can afford. If/when she can no longer live independently, she can live in a Medicaid nursing home like 1,000s of other people with no savings and no family to take them in.
Avoiding that scenario keeps this childless person socking away the savings.
Avoiding that scenario keeps this childless person socking away the savings.
Posted on 12/29/17 at 8:54 am to Tigerfan56
She just spends very poorly, definitely don't give her money. At this point in life there's nothing anyone can do for her, she has to do it on her own. So make her, any money you give her is only because she spent her money on crap she doesnt need.
I don't think buying her a plane ticket for her birthday to fly to see you or her grandkids and stuff like that is a terrible idea though.
I don't think buying her a plane ticket for her birthday to fly to see you or her grandkids and stuff like that is a terrible idea though.
Posted on 12/29/17 at 10:43 am to baldona
The OP's obligations are to his wife and kids.
It is not hard hearted or "tough love" at all to be clear that no money goes to the MIL. Every dollar he gives her is a dollar that is not going to building a house or saving for education of kids or reducing household debt ect.
If his wife doesn't share that sense of responsibility he really should consider divorce and get out of this mess today. A 50 something woman that can't control here spending will NEVER control her spending and he didn't marry the MIL.
The MIL should be grateful the OP has put her daughter and their family first and is planning to take care of them.
It is not hard hearted or "tough love" at all to be clear that no money goes to the MIL. Every dollar he gives her is a dollar that is not going to building a house or saving for education of kids or reducing household debt ect.
If his wife doesn't share that sense of responsibility he really should consider divorce and get out of this mess today. A 50 something woman that can't control here spending will NEVER control her spending and he didn't marry the MIL.
The MIL should be grateful the OP has put her daughter and their family first and is planning to take care of them.
This post was edited on 12/29/17 at 10:46 am
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