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re: Any athletic parents with unathletic children?
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:22 pm to Ponchy Tiger
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:22 pm to Ponchy Tiger
He's 11.
And for the Fishing is a sport guys - he does love to fish
And for the Fishing is a sport guys - he does love to fish
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:25 pm to onelochevy
quote:
Takes longer for some kids to find the desire. Went through that with my 11 year old. He's wrestled for 6 years now and this year is the first time I really see him dedicating himself to being a good wrestler, as opposed to someone who just likes to say they wrestle.
His 8yr old brother is the opposite. He don't give a shite who's he's wrestling, he's gonna come at you like a tasmanian devil.
This is the same situation with our two minus the desire finding it's way to the oldest.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:29 pm to TRUERockyTop
quote:
There's no passion, desire or heart when he...
Insert your verb (Plays or whatever)
I am a new empty nester. Here is my Dad experience (and life in general). Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important than a person finding what they are passionate about. Desire and heart will naturally follow. Most importantly, happiness will be almost certain. This is the formula. Some call it "flow". Doing that thing that does not take thought or slow brain...just seems to happen for them. FOCUS THERE, and life will take care of itself.
Sports pride, money, or whatever is inserted as "more valuable or important" than one's own passion, that disrupts their flow, is where happiness seeds will never sprout. No therapy or meds needed. Just that simple.
I have a college football player son. I share this not for irony but rather to underscore the point. I thought I thought best when he was about your son's age. Pushed for a sport that I thought was best. Wrong! My big lesson. Look / listen / learn what is their passion, get out of the way and support / support / support it!
Sport, hobby, talent, intellect, all, some or none of these...find it, focus on it, and support it. Happiness will flow (for all)!
Good luck!
This post was edited on 2/14/26 at 3:43 pm
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:30 pm to TRUERockyTop
quote:
He's 11.
Give it some time
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:31 pm to TRUERockyTop
You could always give him up for adoption.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:35 pm to TRUERockyTop
quote:My wife and I are both athletic. I absolutely couldn’t care less if my kids are athletic or not. My middle son isn’t a good athlete. I put him in music and it turns out he was a natural musician. Very talented. He’s also my most intelligent and sensitive child. He’s in his 3rd year of medical school. I couldn’t be more proud of him. I wanted my kids involved in something productive while they were in school. It didn’t matter to me what it was? Music, athletics, or whatever. My guess is you weren’t that good of an athlete because if you were you wouldn’t be trying to live through your son. I was very good so I never felt the need to do that.
I'm struggling though and it's starting to hit me that he just doesn't have the same disposition as the older guys in his family. I love him more than anything on the planet, but he just doesn't have that spark that you're either born with or your not. Has anybody else experienced this? I'd love some advice on navigating this because it's kicking my arse
This post was edited on 2/14/26 at 3:38 pm
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:36 pm to TRUERockyTop
quote:Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe?
Our daughter is the athlete & our son is more of an academic. My wife and I were both active and athletic growing up and played most sports imaginable.
Wife cheated on you with a nerd.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:36 pm to Everyday Is Saturday
Thank you. There's been a lot of good advice in here. Appreciate you guys
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:40 pm to TRUERockyTop
It sounds like you’re doing your best & doing a good job. The key is involving them in something that fosters confidence. It doesn’t matter what that is. Because confidence is what makes a man a man. He needs something to build that confidence to take with him. My parents didn’t let me play sports because they refused to alter their schedules to take me to practice after school. We only have them as kids for a short time. It sounds like you’re willing to do whatever it takes & I commend you for showing him you care.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:44 pm to TRUERockyTop
Kids are different. Don’t force it. Get over it.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:44 pm to goldeneagle007
quote:
The key is involving them in something that fosters confidence. It doesn’t matter what that is.
It’s not hard to find things. I liked to watch and observe where my kids talents were and let them lead the way. I let them experiment in different things. If my kid loved science I’d let them go to a summer engineering camp. If my kid loved music I’d let him take private lessons.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:45 pm to TRUERockyTop
quote:
Our son is in his 3rd year of basketball and it's just not clicking for him. He likes basketball the most, but he's played multiple sports.
As someone who excelled in basketball (my mom was a track star, dad was a good point guard) just encourage him to keep enjoying it. I did other sports too, had a lot of fun in football and baseball but i really only ever wanted to play basketball. Once you reach pre-adolescence you start to kind of realize what your real passion is for sports.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:49 pm to S
My experience with dads who pushed their kids a lot in sports was the dads were frustrated athletes. They never reached their own potential and wanted to force it on their kids. I was a very good athlete in my chosen sport and did everything I wanted to do. I never felt the need to force it on my kids. We would practice a lot too but it wasn’t a source of frustration, lol. I enjoyed it.
This post was edited on 2/14/26 at 3:51 pm
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:50 pm to Willie Stroker
quote:
You can take the same 2 parents, raise kids in the same environment, in the same neighborhood, with the same rules, the same financial constraints, and the same schools, and still end up with a wide variety in how the kids turn out.
Some call it DNA. It is damned powerful. God created!
Nature > nurture.
quote:
Except if they’re gay. Tell them **** they’re going to hell just as the Lord wants.
Nature instructs authentically gay people just like nurture instructs hate in bigots cloaked in religion. Naturally.
This post was edited on 2/14/26 at 3:51 pm
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:50 pm to TRUERockyTop
As a parent of grown kids who both played sports when they were younger, sports are great for kids who enjoy them to teach teamwork, persistence, work ethic. But kids won’t learn those lessons if they don’t enjoy the sport, and you can learn a lot of those lessons in activities other than sports. Otherwise sports are meaningless. And some of the parents are psychos.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:53 pm to BabysArmHoldingApple
quote:
Otherwise sports are meaningless.
My youngest and oldest son’s both played major sports and were both team captain’s voted by their teammates. I’m more proud of that than any of their sports accomplishments. I also think athletics is good training for future physical fitness.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 3:56 pm to TRUERockyTop
Kick his arse. Get full pads for the both of you and run Oklahoma drills. Either he’ll run away or toughen up.
Posted on 2/14/26 at 4:07 pm to TRUERockyTop
I’m an old man now but when I was a new dad I struggled with my oldest. I played every sport available as a kid and thrived. I was typically one of the best 2 or 3 on the team (small town so not too impressive). My oldest some was/is a great kid, super smart and just awesome to be around. When it came to team sports, it’s like the light just didn’t come on. He wasn’t terrible or scared but he just didn’t get IT.
Eventually I accepted that and then he discovered other things like water skiing, snow boarding and jiujitsu. He thrived in all of those and loved them. He competed in jiujitsu and MMA and loved it. He wasn’t world class by any means but was pretty good and instead of being frustrated and an outsider on the teams, he became confident and also now has a great work ethic.
Let him try some different stuff and you will both enjoy when he finds something he’s passionate about. Good luck
Eventually I accepted that and then he discovered other things like water skiing, snow boarding and jiujitsu. He thrived in all of those and loved them. He competed in jiujitsu and MMA and loved it. He wasn’t world class by any means but was pretty good and instead of being frustrated and an outsider on the teams, he became confident and also now has a great work ethic.
Let him try some different stuff and you will both enjoy when he finds something he’s passionate about. Good luck
Posted on 2/14/26 at 4:07 pm to Sofaking2
quote:
My experience with dads who pushed their kids a lot in sports was the dads were frustrated athletes. They never reached their own potential and wanted to force it on their kids. I was a very good athlete in my chosen sport and did everything I wanted to do. I never felt the need to force it on my kids. We would practice a lot too but it wasn’t a source of frustration, lol. I enjoyed it.
There's some truth to what you said as a general statement but I can honestly say that I'm not anything close to "that" dad that we all know/knew. I don't ever yell at the games or go crazy in the crowd for either good or bad situations. He gets constructive feedback, but never anything that tears him down. If anything I build him up more than my daughter because I know he needs that more than she does. I'm his biggest supporter and I love on him hard. He's just my more sensitive and intelligent child like another poster mentioned and I'm learning how to navigate that.
I will say he's started to workout with me lately (he asked - I'm not making him) and he seems to really enjoy it. That's been a great experience for us
Posted on 2/14/26 at 4:20 pm to TRUERockyTop
Sounding like dad might be Robert Duvall in The Great Santini
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