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Message
re: Best man speech jokes
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:35 am to BigPerm30
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:35 am to BigPerm30
quote:
True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a fricking magic show.
And it stops right there because what I think my buddy Mitch is trying to say is, true love is blind.
0
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:36 am to 3morereps
Do not:
1. Talk about how the bride is the “least crazy” of all the girlfriends the groom has had.
2. Make a fallic reference to the grooms bald head.
I’ve witnessed both, in the same speech, and it was extremely uncomfortable for everyone in attendance.
Maid of Honor in the same wedding had a good one, something along the lines of “people often debate who wears the pants in the relationship, but a marriage is at its best when neither are wearing pants. “
1. Talk about how the bride is the “least crazy” of all the girlfriends the groom has had.
2. Make a fallic reference to the grooms bald head.
I’ve witnessed both, in the same speech, and it was extremely uncomfortable for everyone in attendance.
Maid of Honor in the same wedding had a good one, something along the lines of “people often debate who wears the pants in the relationship, but a marriage is at its best when neither are wearing pants. “
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:37 am to 3morereps
If you gotta ask the OT, you're going to bomb... enjoy the awkward silence
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:37 am to Mr. Hangover
quote:
Some of the shite that some of y’all think is funny..... good lord there’s been some lame arse attempts at humor in this thread
OP: I need some advice for a best man speech
OT: TELL THE GROOM YOU frickED HIS WIFE HA HA HA HA
y’all people are fricking lame, wtf happened to originality on the OT(internet)??
Uh no.
I said tell the story of when she gave him head.
Get your faux outrage right!
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:40 am to stapuffmarshy
I am so nervous about this speech ... I’m sure at I’ll be better the next time you get married.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 9:52 am to KingofthePoint
quote:
Sal’s speech from Impractical Jokers
In bartending speak, I have this metaphor for marriage. The man is like the liquor and the woman is like the mixer. Life stirs it up, and God is the bartender. And the Devil is your mother-in-law.
That's better then some of the speeches I've seen. I remember once the sister-in-law did a speech at a wedding rehearsal dinner unprompted and rambled for awhile about how the groom wasn't good enough for the bride.
This post was edited on 11/15/19 at 9:54 am
Posted on 11/15/19 at 10:10 am to 3morereps
I tried to weave in a couple inside jokes along with a nod to the parents in the Times I’ve done it. If you do it well the general people in the room won’t pick up on it and the people it’s meant for will love it.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 10:18 am to 3morereps
“Welcome back” is a nice opener if he’s been married before
Posted on 11/15/19 at 10:22 am to 3morereps
Insert Grooms name, doesn’t listen. I told him it is cheaper to rent if it Floats, Flys, or fricks but he won’t make my advice!
This post was edited on 11/15/19 at 5:12 pm
Posted on 11/15/19 at 10:41 am to 3morereps
This speech will be like a mini skirt...short enough to keep your attention, long enough to cover the essentials.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:03 am to 3morereps
The funniest toast I’ve heard ended with something about being able to look at the mother to know what the daughter will look like in the future and then he says “and let me tell you Mrs. (Brides mothers name), ima lookin and ima liken”
Room broke into laughter.
Room broke into laughter.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:35 am to Wasp
Don't do generic jokes, one liners.
Give a funny story about an experience you had with the groom and use it to lead into saying something nice about he and the bride. As someone else mentioned, saying something nice about his parents is always a good move.
Pro tip: go first. Maids of honor and parents get all emotional and start crying. You don't want to follow that. Taking charge and speaking first can also make you seem assertive and confident, which is good if you're trying to put the moves on a bridesmaid later.
Give a funny story about an experience you had with the groom and use it to lead into saying something nice about he and the bride. As someone else mentioned, saying something nice about his parents is always a good move.
Pro tip: go first. Maids of honor and parents get all emotional and start crying. You don't want to follow that. Taking charge and speaking first can also make you seem assertive and confident, which is good if you're trying to put the moves on a bridesmaid later.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:42 am to gonecoastal
quote:
This speech will be like a mini skirt...short enough to keep your attention, long enough to cover the essentials
Word
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:51 am to 3morereps
Stick with comedy that you know works.
Plagiarize 5 minutes of a Richard Pryor standup routine, tie it into the wedding at the end and you're set.
Plagiarize 5 minutes of a Richard Pryor standup routine, tie it into the wedding at the end and you're set.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:56 am to 3morereps
I always wondered if I’d live long enough to give Sterling’s (my brother) eulogy and here we are!
Posted on 11/15/19 at 12:10 pm to Wasp
quote:
The funniest toast I’ve heard ended with something about being able to look at the mother to know what the daughter will look like in the future and then he says “and let me tell you Mrs. (Brides mothers name), ima lookin and ima liken”
This is a Meet the Fockers movie quote...
Posted on 11/15/19 at 1:57 pm to 3morereps
Posted on 11/15/19 at 2:08 pm to 3morereps
So the bride and groom have politely asked that I not talk about [grooms] mistakes and embarrassing stories. So thanks everyone for coming...that's all I've got.
Posted on 11/15/19 at 2:24 pm to 3morereps
Tell him that by landing her, he out-kicked his coverage...most people will understand...many will agree. Comment about how he talked about her and was obviously in love and everyone can see why.
Definitely speak first!!!!!
Definitely speak first!!!!!
This post was edited on 11/15/19 at 2:30 pm
Posted on 11/15/19 at 3:42 pm to Drew Brews
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/24/21 at 7:02 pm
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