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Message
re: Caught my kid drinking
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:48 am to dnm3305
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:48 am to dnm3305
quote:
That's complete bullshite. Just because YOU think teaching kids/demanding kids to not drink is good parenting, doesnt make it so. In fact, I would bet the overwhelming majority believe the exact opposite of that. Teaching maturity, responsibility, accountability, respect, and independence is good parenting. Not having your boot on their neck the entire time they are growing and somehow hoping they blossom into that by chance.
No one is arguing the method that someone teaches a lesson.
We are arguing that you are not accurate when you label getting mad at a kid who drinks at a young age when you drank at a young age and wanted something better for them...hypocritical.
This post was edited on 8/13/14 at 8:52 am
1
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:53 am to Pectus
quote:
But you don't keep that mindset into adulthood. Maybe when he was a kid he didn't have good parents so he didn't know of the consequences of drinking. Now he does, and he wants to make sure his kid doesn't drink as early as he did. That's not being hypocritical. He's allowed to wish the best for his son. Maybe the whole reason he blew up is because he had no parents leading him in a good direction, so he didn't know how to handle when his son did the same thing he did at an early age...but wanted so much more for his son
Ok. You believe in controllling everything and then hoping for the best. I believe in putting things in motion and raising to be an adult at an early age. That's probably a direct reflection on the way you were raised and the way I was raised. I have a family that enjoys getting together and partying. We drink socially. We cook, listen to music loud (in the country of course). We are also all extremely driven. We are all very successful. We can all handle ourselves in just about any situation.
This post was edited on 8/13/14 at 8:56 am
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:55 am to Pectus
quote:
We are arguing that you are not accurate when you label getting mad at a kid who drinks at a young age when you drank at a young age and wanted something better for them...hypocritical.
Im not going to argue with you about the defintion of hypocritical. You cannot spin the defintion into something you want that makes sense to you to fit your agenda
. 
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:55 am to Charlie Arglist
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance. most end up trying to salvage their lives/careers at an older age due to a few dwi's and what not
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:56 am to oldcharlie8
quote:
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance. most end up trying to salvage their lives/careers at an older age due to a few dwi's and what not
quit making sense please.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:56 am to dnm3305
quote:
I have a family that enjoys getting together and partying. We drink socially. We cook, listen to music loud (in the country of course). We are also all extremely driven. We are all very successful. We can all handle ourselves in just about any situation.
What if I said this is an exact description of my family? And that none of us drank until ~age 18.
Sure, we've made mistakes, but if your kids respect you, they'll listen when you explain to them when they're messing up.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:58 am to oldcharlie8
quote:
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance. most end up trying to salvage their lives/careers at an older age due to a few dwi's and what not
So, my statement was generalized, but this one isn't?
Posted on 8/13/14 at 8:59 am to oldcharlie8
quote:
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance. most end up trying to salvage their lives/careers at an older age due to a few dwi's and what not
That's an awful wide brush you are painting with
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:04 am to dnm3305
quote:
Im not going to argue with you about the defintion of hypocritical. You cannot spin the defintion into something you want that makes sense to you to fit your agenda
Dude. I don't even...
What about those self-help books. Let's say someone has drug issues and gets out of it, and becomes very successful. Through their drug problems, they contemplated suicide, lost their house, car, wife, and family. Is it hypocritical for this author to write about why people shouldn't use drugs?
Let's turn it down a notch and bring in the subject matter. Say a parent drank in high school. They went to parties, stayed out too late, and performed poorly in school because they were too tired or hungover, etc. Is it hypocritical for that same person who partied in high school to teach their kids that school comes first and recognize that, at 15, kids aren't thinking about their future?
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:08 am to Sev09
quote:
Sure, we've made mistakes, but if your kids respect you, they'll listen when you explain to them when they're messing up.
Do you feel that kids will have more respect for adults if they are given respect themselves? Confidence breeds confidence.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:14 am to Sev09
quote:
Is it hypocritical for this author to write about why people shouldn't use drugs?
By defintion, of course it is. And if you need to read a book on why you shouldnt cook up meth, youre a fricking idiot in the first place right?
quote:
Let's turn it down a notch and bring in the subject matter. Say a parent drank in high school. They went to parties, stayed out too late, and performed poorly in school because they were too tired or hungover, etc. Is it hypocritical for that same person who partied in high school to teach their kids that school comes first and recognize that, at 15, kids aren't thinking about their future?
I would say that is because they werent intelligent and not because they were partying too much. How would drinking beer on a Fri night after a football game affect someone on Monday morning at school? They can coexist.
quote:
Is it hypocritical for that same person who partied in high school to teach their kids that school comes first and recognize that, at 15, kids aren't thinking about their future?
What in the blue frick are you talking about. Of course it is important to teach and give examples of why school comes first. You shouldnt have to teach a fricking kid that. If you raised them correctly in the first place, they should be passionate about knowledge. They should want to learn. They should be driven. They should want to know about the world. YOU DONT HAVE TO TEACH THAT IF IT IS INSTILLED IN THEM TO BE MATURE FROM AN EARLY AGE.
quote:
They went to parties, stayed out too late, and performed poorly in school because they were too tired or hungover
Are you so far removed from reality that you actually believe this?
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:16 am to dnm3305
The fact that your definition of hypocritical doesn't hold up with simple analogy means you are using the term incorrectly.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:21 am to tylercsbn9
quote:
I'd tell him to hold off a few years...until he's 17 or 18. Just make sure he learns to be responsible about it.
All the kids that I saw in college that couldn't handle the drinking part of college and went overboard had parents who were overly strict about it.
This is as far as I'd take it. Yeah, I drank when I was 15, and I think my parents knew about it, but I'd give the kid a warning the first offense. Second offense, probably punishment. Once he turns 17 though, let him drink so he's not a lightweight in college.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:23 am to Charlie Arglist
quote:
and remember what I did at 15
Yeah I was already smoking pot and drinking when I was 15. I think that's the year I started dropping acid too, I had already done shrooms. Not to mention the pills.
This post was edited on 8/13/14 at 9:24 am
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:24 am to Charlie Arglist
quote:
...then I tried to collect myself and remember what I did at 15.
terrible parenting
quote:
That doesn't make it ok. That doesn't make it ok AT ALL.
I disciplined my kid, but what should I expect?
wow
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:24 am to Ghostfacedistiller
(no message)
This post was edited on 8/31/14 at 9:04 am
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:25 am to oldcharlie8
quote:
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance
I did not drink until at least 20...Now I have a few beers during the week, and don't drive if I have had more than one...
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:25 am to oldcharlie8
quote:
kids that can't do shite growing up are always the ones that go "balls to the wall" when they finally get their chance.
This is complete nonsense.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:28 am to Pectus
quote:
The fact that your definition of hypocritical doesn't hold up with simple analogy means you are using the term incorrectly
This. Hypocrisy exists in the present. Ex: A priest preaching not to cheat on your wife, while in an affair.
This is different than someone who had previously and stupidly been in an affair advising a friend not to take an opportunity to cheat on his wife.
Advising from experience =/= hypocrisy
Posted on 8/13/14 at 9:42 am to Charlie Arglist
Every kid is different. However, in general you need to set reasonable boundaries, establish reasonable consequences for the boundaries, explain the reasoning for the boundaries and communicate this calmly and consistently.
This applies for most of these parenting issues.
This applies for most of these parenting issues.
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