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Started By
Message
3
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:03 pm to Slagathor
quote:
Uh I don’t think so pal… I work more than 40 hours a week and so do all of the other women I know.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:04 pm to Slagathor
quote:
Slagathor
Iron my shirt.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:06 pm to ItzMe1972
quote:
You should just ask her for sex.
They’re on the way to the beach. Sex is implied.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:09 pm to HoboDickCheese
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:14 pm to Slagathor
quote:That’s an aphrodisiac in my book. :swoon:
I work more than 40 hours a week
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:44 pm to Macrell
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:52 pm to Macrell
quote:
Macrell: my goodness…..
Should have been
“No, dear, it means it will make you want me to make love to you in the doggystyle position and put my thumb in your arse when you’re about to cum”
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:56 pm to Macrell
As long as the oysters do their job, sh doesn't have to understand why they work. Probably a good thing that she doesn't 
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:12 pm to Macrell
Sounds to me like she was telling you to ‘go frick yourself”!
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:15 pm to Macrell
An Ode To Oysters
The outside’s like a dirty rock,
The inside’s like a loogie,
And it’s been said they’ll help you do,
The horizontal boogie,
They slide right down your gullet,
And all the world is right,
But if you get a bad one,
You’ll be in for one long night,
Their ghosts come out of nowhere,
And knot your guts with pain,
You’ll rush into the bathroom,
Where you’ll struggle and you’ll strain,
Both ends flow forth with evil,
You’ll plead with God and curse,
Nearly lifting off the toilet,
As the oysters do their worst,
You’ll try to leave the porcelain throne,
And pray it’s at an end,
A rumble in your guttiwuts,
You rush right back again,
The toilet looks like modern art,
So violent is the spray,
I only hope for your sake,
You’ve got yourself a bidet,
Cold sweat will drench your brow,
You King of feces holding court,
And if you don’t move quick,
You might be filling up your shorts,
As cursed things course through you,
You count each bathroom tile,
You’ll swear those shells from hell off,
And you’ll keep your word awhile,
So the moral of the story,
If you’re at an oyster bar,
Get them fried or baked or chargrilled,
In the months without an R,
So take it from a man,
Who played a fool and pressed his luck,
When the oysters come for revenge,
Then your arse is proper shucked
The outside’s like a dirty rock,
The inside’s like a loogie,
And it’s been said they’ll help you do,
The horizontal boogie,
They slide right down your gullet,
And all the world is right,
But if you get a bad one,
You’ll be in for one long night,
Their ghosts come out of nowhere,
And knot your guts with pain,
You’ll rush into the bathroom,
Where you’ll struggle and you’ll strain,
Both ends flow forth with evil,
You’ll plead with God and curse,
Nearly lifting off the toilet,
As the oysters do their worst,
You’ll try to leave the porcelain throne,
And pray it’s at an end,
A rumble in your guttiwuts,
You rush right back again,
The toilet looks like modern art,
So violent is the spray,
I only hope for your sake,
You’ve got yourself a bidet,
Cold sweat will drench your brow,
You King of feces holding court,
And if you don’t move quick,
You might be filling up your shorts,
As cursed things course through you,
You count each bathroom tile,
You’ll swear those shells from hell off,
And you’ll keep your word awhile,
So the moral of the story,
If you’re at an oyster bar,
Get them fried or baked or chargrilled,
In the months without an R,
So take it from a man,
Who played a fool and pressed his luck,
When the oysters come for revenge,
Then your arse is proper shucked
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:23 pm to fr33manator
Was that put into ChatGPFr33??
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:26 pm to Macrell
You married her
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:27 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
Was that put into ChatGPFr33??
frick no. I wrote that year or so ago after eating oysters in May.
Y'all seriously can't tell the difference between a soulless, heartless robot and a living breathing person?
And I always credit when something isn't my own work. Plagiarism irks me
This post was edited on 4/16/23 at 10:28 pm
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:28 pm to fr33manator
Also means they use both hands equally, no dominant hand.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:51 pm to fr33manator
It was a joke, Fr33
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:57 pm to GreenRockTiger
I never tell jokes.
I find them to be in poor taste.
Like bud light
I find them to be in poor taste.
Like bud light
Posted on 4/16/23 at 11:00 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 4/17/23 at 9:47 am to HoboDickCheese
quote:
All oysters start life as male, but most will change permanently to female after about a year. Their reproductive organs produce both sperm and eggs, giving them the capability to change gender. It is, therefore, possible for an oyster to fertilize its own eggs.
Somewhere there is a group of trans psychos trying to figure out how to manipulate human DNA to accomplish this in humans.
Posted on 4/17/23 at 10:04 am to Macrell
Decoded:
="We gonna hump later, right?"
= (shite...let's sabotage his libido)
="No, I meant 'we gonna hump later, right?'"
= (shite, didn't work) / "I've already diddled myself to Jason Mamoa shirtless. I'm gonna fake food poisoning."
="Hope the waitress is hot. I'm gonna have to jack it later."
quote:
Macrell: you know…..oysters…..are an aphrodisiac…..
="We gonna hump later, right?"
quote:
Wife: oh yeah! They don’t have a gender.
= (shite...let's sabotage his libido)
quote:
Macrell: what?!?! No!
="No, I meant 'we gonna hump later, right?'"
quote:
Wife: oh thats right it means they impregnate themselves.
= (shite, didn't work) / "I've already diddled myself to Jason Mamoa shirtless. I'm gonna fake food poisoning."
quote:
Macrell: my goodness….
="Hope the waitress is hot. I'm gonna have to jack it later."
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