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Message
re: Divorce Prep
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:24 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:24 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
What's a good plan of action or any prep I can take?
Hide all your money
0
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:25 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Don't waste your money trying to outlitigate her. Unless she is a horrible mom, the courts will probably give her standard possession and you will get the kids every Thursday and Thursday through Monday morning every 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend. It really isn't worth fighting over, except you will have to pay child support. Division of assets are pretty straightforward, as are child support payments. The more you fight it, the more it will cost.
I went through this in 2017 and I took her back to court 18 months later to modify the decree, and I was awarded primary custodian. If your wife is a heavy drinker, you need to document all the times she drinks around the kids. My ex-wife was not a very good mother and really didn't want to take care of the kids when we were married, or after divorce. She just wanted money and the win. My divorce was final after 2 months. At the time, I documented every day that the boys were with me and with her. After 18 months, I took her back to court and demonstrated that the boys were with me 63% of the time, and I also documented the unsafe conditions she had put them in. They also only missed a few days of school when they were in my possession, but missed so much when with her they had to attend summer school
It is very important to document everything if you ever plan on taking her back to court. Never get ugly or combative in your text messages, and save her's if she does. Text messages and voicemails come in handy in the future to demonstrate a vindictive person only looking out for themselves. Stay cool and play the long game. Even if you never attempt to regain custody after the divorce, stay cool and never speak ill of your ex in front of your kids. They will always remember that and as they age, they will hold it against the parent who does.
I went through this in 2017 and I took her back to court 18 months later to modify the decree, and I was awarded primary custodian. If your wife is a heavy drinker, you need to document all the times she drinks around the kids. My ex-wife was not a very good mother and really didn't want to take care of the kids when we were married, or after divorce. She just wanted money and the win. My divorce was final after 2 months. At the time, I documented every day that the boys were with me and with her. After 18 months, I took her back to court and demonstrated that the boys were with me 63% of the time, and I also documented the unsafe conditions she had put them in. They also only missed a few days of school when they were in my possession, but missed so much when with her they had to attend summer school
It is very important to document everything if you ever plan on taking her back to court. Never get ugly or combative in your text messages, and save her's if she does. Text messages and voicemails come in handy in the future to demonstrate a vindictive person only looking out for themselves. Stay cool and play the long game. Even if you never attempt to regain custody after the divorce, stay cool and never speak ill of your ex in front of your kids. They will always remember that and as they age, they will hold it against the parent who does.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:26 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
married 12 yrs and have three minor children together
quote:
1 in high school
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:29 pm to profdillweed
quote:
Depends on what you determine as community property.....the house and the mortgage is still owned by both parties until the house sells
Well yeah, the house would have been bought while marriage/community property was in play. Anything that was yours before marriage is still yours. Anything bought between marriage and separation is shared. Anything acquired by you after separating is yours. Same goes with debts. If your wife spent the entire marriage paying off a student loan debt from before marriage, she has to pay you back your half.
This is all true story from personal experience if you couldn't tell
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 3:32 pm
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:33 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
I don't think she's cheating
80% chance that she probably is.
Married women don’t leave until they have something lined up.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:34 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
I got nothing other than this advice - don't marry a woman who drinks - being a drunk is a man's job.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:37 pm to Corriente Kid
Man a lot of y'all got lucky (for lack of a better word I guess) with ex's that were a breeze to take majority custody from. Mine is very smart and calculated--I stood no chance. She's a good mom and took me for every cent and second she could take my son from me in return. My argument is that I'm also a great dad and still deserve 50/50 but it just doesn't work that way.
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 3:41 pm
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:38 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
I don't think she's cheating. She's let herself go big time
Baw...that ain't never stopped Jody.
Makes it even easier since you, their husband, isn't attracted to them. So any bit of attention from Jody makes their cooter quiver.
Protect your assets...yesterday. You know the firestorm is coming so get your burnables out the path
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:39 pm to HarryBalzack
My oldest is under 18 yrs
Posted on 9/11/25 at 3:41 pm to Corriente Kid
quote:
It is very important to document everything if you ever plan on taking her back to court
There's an app called OFW (Our Family Wizard) that can be monitored by courts in Texas (it was written into my mediation agreement). Take it from personal experience, you want to pay the nominal fee for the record keeping. You'll want irrevocable proof that she texted you changing pickup locations at the last minute, canceled plans, excuses for why she has the kids out of town on Father's Day or your birthday, all of that. It'll also warn you if you send a message through the app that sounds too aggressive.
ETA: The court can see when you and the ex logged in, it gives the court proof that you uploaded health insurance information and when. You can document expenses in it, make voice calls, and very important, a calendar. The calendar can cover scheduling of dance recitals, doctors appointments, etc. Because if your ex is pretty useless, she'll "forget" to tell you about all kinds of important events, which you can prove to the court with OFW.
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 3:44 pm
Posted on 9/11/25 at 4:00 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Attorney
Fraud alert and freeze on your credit and your children's credit
Run a check, she may have been advised to open lines
Freeze credit cards
Assume everything is being recorded at all times
It's about the kids now
Be the example for them
Stay calm, do not bad mouth her
Remember, this is like surgery with her now but for the kids how you act and maintain what is true and good about your love and true care for them will make all the difference
Fraud alert and freeze on your credit and your children's credit
Run a check, she may have been advised to open lines
Freeze credit cards
Assume everything is being recorded at all times
It's about the kids now
Be the example for them
Stay calm, do not bad mouth her
Remember, this is like surgery with her now but for the kids how you act and maintain what is true and good about your love and true care for them will make all the difference
Posted on 9/11/25 at 4:12 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
file first lol. Control the narrative
Posted on 9/11/25 at 4:16 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
There's an app called OFW (Our Family Wizard)
This would have been a great tool to have. However, If she were aware the courts were tracking everything, she would have been more cautious. Doesn't matter now, she hasn't even had the boys over at her house since April. And, we live in the same house.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 4:19 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Posted on 9/11/25 at 4:20 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
You are going to be paying out the arse in child support.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 5:25 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Get a competent attorney. Don’t try to be overly nice. They get mean in a hurry…. Trust me……
Posted on 9/11/25 at 5:29 pm to ironwood
quote:
Run a check, she may have been advised to open lines
Thanks for the advice, how do I check hers?
Posted on 9/11/25 at 5:31 pm to Champagne
quote:
don't marry a woman who drinks - being a drunk is a man's job.
Where were you when I got married?
Posted on 9/11/25 at 5:39 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
Cage Fighter Trainee
Best advice I can give you is to pay $150-$300 to consult with an attorney but don't pay $2500-$5000 to retain an attorney until you see the petition and see what it says, then you can pay an extra $300 to respond to the petition.
Then after that, you'll likely have to pay up to $5000 to retain an attorney but wait wait until the very last minute......if she files, let her spend all her money on attorney fees
Posted on 9/11/25 at 5:42 pm to blueboxer1119
quote:
I’d personally start moving money.
Definitely do not do this.
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