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re: Engaged but second guessing getting married- advice
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:18 pm to Tigerfan56
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:18 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened
I have never been engaged, but felt like you're feeling with a recent ex girlfriend. Literally already felt like we were a boring, married old couple. shite was completely aggravating.
If you really want to hook up with other women, then you should end it. Marriage is hard and not for everyone, but women are easily replaceable.
Advice that I saw on the OT one day:
quote:
Girls are like buses, one leaves and within the next 15 minutes another one's coming
Do it. You will find someone else quick
0
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:19 pm to Pectus
If you are second guessing already then call it quits now. Because she probably will once you tell her you think you should maybe wait a while.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:23 pm to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
if you truly love the woman
The OP never mentioned love. He's either a troll or a dumbarse that's just getting married because he thinks it's the thing to do.
No one should marry because they "get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother."
Where's the mention of how much the OP loves this woman?
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:25 pm to chinese58
quote:
The OP never mentioned love. He's either a troll or a dumbarse that's just getting married because he thinks it's the thing to do.
No one should marry because they "get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother."
dude is just not open hearted. you look at O-T sixteen times, its mostly sex, career, money. love, not so much. some people do not come from loving environments and they just don't have it at all.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:27 pm to Tigerfan56
I'm kinda of late to the party My take is I love my wife, been married for twenty years.
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 9:47 pm
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:28 pm to Tigerfan56
Get out. I imagine you're in Baton Rouge. Leave that shite hole.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:31 pm to chinese58
quote:
The OP never mentioned love. He's either a troll or a dumbarse that's just getting married because he thinks it's the thing to do.
Society is brainwashed to think that marriage is something you have to do.
It's why so many women freak out when they hit age 25 and still aren't married. They think since they arent married yet something is wrong with them. Same with men. They think they HAVE to get married so they settle for someone, instead of being patient.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:32 pm to Tigerfan56
At the root of dissatisfaction with perfectly good relationships is the human ego. (Provided that your spouse is a quality human who makes you better) Those with humility tend to put more back into their relationships, and those with ego tend to put less into their relationships. As far as grieving the fact that you can't sleep with random chicks, you need to gtf over yourself or postpone your wedding. If you can't control that, if you can't harness your ego and your short-term-reward center,you don't want to get married. Because when you are 60 you will still want to bang beautiful women. That's how we are wired.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:34 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother. Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple. Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage
You are not ready to get married.
Nothing wrong with that, you just aren't at that particular point in your life. I was the same way. Ended a 10 year relationship. She wanted to get married, I didn't. It was the right decision.
Your gut reaction will lead you. Marry this girl now and you will be unsatisfied and probably cheat on her. That's no good.
Put wedding on hold. Maybe your feelings will clarify. You may discover that she is the one for you. She may wait, she may not. Risk you take to know for sure. Or you may realize that she is not the girl for you and you may be thankful years down the road that you didn't marry her.
But you need to know and right now you don't know.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:34 pm to Henry Jones Jr
The fact you want to be single and hookup with other women should make you get out. Most likely you will act on this when have a moment of weakness. Your not even married and you want to sleep with others. She should want to get out of it if she knew this information.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:46 pm to LSUJuicer
The seven year age spread is the correct answer. Get married when you are 32. She will be at the peak of her "time to get married" mindset at age 25. You will have sowed plenty of wild oats and are probably getting sick of going out to bars all the time.
Also, and this is very important; she should remain relatively hot until you are in your 50's due to the age difference
Too many guys marry a girl the same age as themselves. This is a rookie move and you will regret it over the long haul
Also, and this is very important; she should remain relatively hot until you are in your 50's due to the age difference
Too many guys marry a girl the same age as themselves. This is a rookie move and you will regret it over the long haul
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:59 pm to Tigerfan56
DO NOT GET MARRIED. WHY DO IT ANYWAY? IT IS A TRAP
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:02 pm to Tigerfan56
OP you are already married. You just don't have a piece of paper to show it.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:03 pm to Tigerfan56
Honestly, if you're already second guessing it, then end it. I've been there before. Had talked about a long term future, not engaged but had discussed it. But then I just felt like that was NOT the person I wanted to end up with (different values, work ethic). You won't be able to fake happiness forever, and you shouldn't try. It's not fair to anyone.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:09 pm to LSUBadger
quote:this is my parents exactly, but a years older
The seven year age spread is the correct answer. Get married when you are 32. She will be at the peak of her "time to get married" mindset at age 25.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:20 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
Those with humility tend to put more back into their relationships, and those with ego tend to put less into their relationships.
has no real spiritual practice. we know. no mention of anything like one, and no mention of love.
everyone IS an ego.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:23 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
You will always feel like running around. When you live with someone, the thrill ends quickly. Marriage is hard but the best way for most people to live. No one can answer this question but you. But make sure you are living the life you choose and not living the life you think you are supposed to.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:30 pm to goldennugget
quote:Sounds like your ultra passive and let a couple of women in your life do whatever they wanted with you.
Once a woman moves in with
Sorry about that, hopefully you figured it out and decided to man up.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:40 pm to Tigerfan56
Get married and have a cookie on the side.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 7:52 pm to Pectus
quote:
We have lived together 1.5 years
quote:
Been engaged for 4 months
quote:
Trashy.
Get the frick out of here with that **** arse, bible beating bullshite. What? You want people to "date" and then jump into marriage without living together first to see if you actually CAN live together...FOR THE REST OF YOUR frickING LIVES?!
Thats why your generation has the highest rate of divorce..EVER IN HISTORY.
Common sense escapes you doesnt it?
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 8:03 pm
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