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Message
re: Just got served divorce papers today
Posted on 7/14/15 at 3:04 pm to TomballTiger
Posted on 7/14/15 at 3:04 pm to TomballTiger
quote:
that is not how it works. you have to reside in the county with the kids for 6 months I believe. check the family code.
Covered that several pages ago. Since I, like the OP, are up here in Iowa (well, close enough for me) I know how Iowa courts operate. Her running off to Texas to file isn't going to help her. In fact, with so many kids, an Iowa judge is not going to look to favorably on her flight status. OP has a better than good chance of getting custody of his kids if she wants to stay down in Texas.
1
Posted on 7/14/15 at 3:07 pm to SoDakHawk
I think the OP lives in Houston
Posted on 7/14/15 at 3:15 pm to Team Vote
quote:
I think the OP lives in Houston
Ahhh my bad. Saw Central Iowa and that he is a crappy Cyclown fan and didn't look much further than that.
Forget anything I said about Iowa family law. You're in Texas bud, you're fricked.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 3:58 pm to SoDakHawk
To the OP after what my brother and another friend are going through, I'd have a PI all over her. Seriously.
NO, there isn't anyone else .. LIES LIES LIES.
Too many women have fantasies based on what they "think is ideal" and on what's on tv and reality crap shows. My sisinlaw said my brother had changed and didn't take days off to do things with her (he worked 7 and 7 ... um, he was off for 7 days idiot ... to do things). "He wasn't the same" .. well thank God he'd grown up and matured YEAH for not being "the same".
The friend I speak of after 25+ years of marriage is getting a divorce ... husband walked in one day ... "I want out". Ends up he'd been having a 13 yo affair with the vet in his office. The office staff .. the wife .. NO ONE had a clue. But it took him getting caught after 18 months of "there's no one" to finally admit it.
God bless you and those kids ... and for the record, I'm a woman and your wife sounds like she's having a midlife crisis. Married 23.5 years now, 3 kids .. have things always been easy? NO and thank God for a patient husband ... and my learning to grow up as well through the years.
NO, there isn't anyone else .. LIES LIES LIES.
Too many women have fantasies based on what they "think is ideal" and on what's on tv and reality crap shows. My sisinlaw said my brother had changed and didn't take days off to do things with her (he worked 7 and 7 ... um, he was off for 7 days idiot ... to do things). "He wasn't the same" .. well thank God he'd grown up and matured YEAH for not being "the same".
The friend I speak of after 25+ years of marriage is getting a divorce ... husband walked in one day ... "I want out". Ends up he'd been having a 13 yo affair with the vet in his office. The office staff .. the wife .. NO ONE had a clue. But it took him getting caught after 18 months of "there's no one" to finally admit it.
God bless you and those kids ... and for the record, I'm a woman and your wife sounds like she's having a midlife crisis. Married 23.5 years now, 3 kids .. have things always been easy? NO and thank God for a patient husband ... and my learning to grow up as well through the years.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:01 pm to tiger91
quote:
Too many women have fantasies based on what they "think is ideal" and on what's on tv and reality crap shows. My sisinlaw said my brother had changed and didn't take days off to do things with her (he worked 7 and 7 ... um, he was off for 7 days idiot ... to do things). "He wasn't the same" .. well thank God he'd grown up and matured YEAH for not being "the same".
Could not have said it any better myself.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:03 pm to tiger91
quote:
He wasn't the same
Ex of four years said the same. Then I found out she had been talking to someone else right before we broke up (even though she denied it)
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:04 pm to meauxjeaux2
mj2, it's true ... life is not kissy kissy lovey dovey roses and perfection all of the time. Such bullshite. Not saying it's NEVER like that but come on.
OP how old is your wife out of curiosity?
OP how old is your wife out of curiosity?
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:06 pm to TheOcean
Oh my brother and his wife had been let's say "having FUN talk" during the day ... THAT AFTERNOON she shows up with the news that she's filing for divorce. My brother was like WTF??? He's in no way perfect don't get me wrong. He's cheap, he's selfish as far as when he wants to hunt or fish he wants to hunt or fish. SHE NEVER SAID "Please stay home this weekend". She always said "I'm fine with that". He ended up going to counseling -- she went a few times but never said much -- SHE DIDN'T WANT to fix things which has been said here before makes it pointless. He did end up a better person as he realized his OCDness and has gotten help and lightened up a bit.
That's the other thing ... people don't communicate anymore. UGH. I don't think my son ever wants to get married due to her causing his Godfather this bullshite .. along with the things he reads here of course. lol
(eta THANK GOD I'm not the same as I was when I got married 23+ years ago!!!)
That's the other thing ... people don't communicate anymore. UGH. I don't think my son ever wants to get married due to her causing his Godfather this bullshite .. along with the things he reads here of course. lol
(eta THANK GOD I'm not the same as I was when I got married 23+ years ago!!!)
This post was edited on 7/14/15 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:26 pm to SoDakHawk
To the OP:
The OT has many members, with eyes and ears everywhere. If there is a hotel, restaurant or bar, it has posters in it.
Posting pictures of your wife, IF the marriage is irreconcilable will get you a history of who she has been dating, if she has. Members here saw everything.
FWIW, I think a woman with 7 kids, 5 of them little ones, did not have time for a long bath, much less an affair. If it turns out she is dead set on leaving, pics will bring info.
Good luck and hard work pay off.
The OT has many members, with eyes and ears everywhere. If there is a hotel, restaurant or bar, it has posters in it.
Posting pictures of your wife, IF the marriage is irreconcilable will get you a history of who she has been dating, if she has. Members here saw everything.
FWIW, I think a woman with 7 kids, 5 of them little ones, did not have time for a long bath, much less an affair. If it turns out she is dead set on leaving, pics will bring info.
Good luck and hard work pay off.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 4:51 pm to Hangit
Good luck in this situation OP! Were with ya
Posted on 7/14/15 at 5:16 pm to SoDakHawk
quote:
SoDakHawk
I see what you are saying. However, I haven't, nor will I, held things over her head. When we talked about it, it was dropped and not mentioned again. I get your point, and yes, I keep everything as a just in case her behavior hasn't changed or whatever. But holding it over her head? No. I want us to work more than anything.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 5:29 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Yep...glad I am single and not married. Don't ever plan on getting married either. 
Posted on 7/14/15 at 5:40 pm to Weaver
Any new details since page 9 or so?
Posted on 7/14/15 at 5:45 pm to TheOcean
As a guy, I feel like guys rally around this kind of stuff because the deck is automatically stacked against us. The OP might be completely full of shite; however, I find it hard to believe a woman married for 23 years with 7 kids decides to leave all of the sudden because hes a "bully."
What blows my mind about women is how much effort they will put into feeling mistreated rather than dealing with issues and trying to make them better. Case in point, I've got a facebook friend that I've watched go through a divorce via Facebook posts. She was an attractive girl back in high school, got married after college, teacher. Three kids, gained a bunch of weight, and 5 years in to the marriage her husband left her. Now, if you look at photos from when he left, she looked frumpy, never put together. Always wined about the stuff she had to do, never went anywhere, etc.
Now, shes lost 80 lbs, posts on and on about how much confidence she has, how much better she feels, all the new things shes trying, single mom rants, etc. Got me wondering: why did it take you getting divorced to decide to better yourself? Why didn't you put as much effort into that stuff with your husband? If you didn't have time to do that stuff when married while you had a partner to help, even if he wasn't doing so, how is it that you now can find time to do it now without one?
I know I'm being biased, but damn if I don't see a lot of that kind of crap. Social media is people watching at its finest, but it often reminds me of how lazy we are.
What blows my mind about women is how much effort they will put into feeling mistreated rather than dealing with issues and trying to make them better. Case in point, I've got a facebook friend that I've watched go through a divorce via Facebook posts. She was an attractive girl back in high school, got married after college, teacher. Three kids, gained a bunch of weight, and 5 years in to the marriage her husband left her. Now, if you look at photos from when he left, she looked frumpy, never put together. Always wined about the stuff she had to do, never went anywhere, etc.
Now, shes lost 80 lbs, posts on and on about how much confidence she has, how much better she feels, all the new things shes trying, single mom rants, etc. Got me wondering: why did it take you getting divorced to decide to better yourself? Why didn't you put as much effort into that stuff with your husband? If you didn't have time to do that stuff when married while you had a partner to help, even if he wasn't doing so, how is it that you now can find time to do it now without one?
I know I'm being biased, but damn if I don't see a lot of that kind of crap. Social media is people watching at its finest, but it often reminds me of how lazy we are.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:36 pm to Hangit
I don't know why everyone is so damn interested in a pic of OP's wife.
Just an OT 6/10
Just an OT 6/10
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:39 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
We are not formally separated but she has been in McKinney for a little while helping her mom with health issues
Is that what she told you? Yeah, she's cheating, bro.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:43 pm to elprez00
quote:
I feel like guys rally around this kind of stuff because the deck is automatically stacked against us.
Because the see the same stories over and over again when it comes to relationships. Social media leads to girls (and guys, but girls spend way more time on social media) having a warped view of reality. Once a relationship gets tough, it's easy to let that warped view of reality completely destroy a relationship. It's only going to get worse and worse--younger girls (early 20s) form a majority of their opinions about relationships from the media (disney, social media, magazines, tv shows, etc.).
Posted on 7/14/15 at 6:52 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
If you haven't already, RUN and get as good of a lawyer as you can afford, even if you have to take out a bit of a loan. Sounds like the marriage is done regardless of reason(s). It's time to start picking up pieces, and making sure she doesn't pick up anymore than she's entitled to. Just for the hell of it, some dna tests on the kids might not be a bad idea. I know that hurts, but I have seen some of the most unlikely females turn out to be the horniest. Remember, a female can essentially have sex whenever and wherever she wants to. Males have to work at it more.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:03 pm to fr33manator
quote:
a woman doesn't just up and jump ship without at least a lifeboat ready.
Been there and had it done to me. Go into Mr. Spock mode and focus on the legal war, then take care of your emotions. Trust me, with time things do get better and you eventually redefine your life in a way that you find peace and happiness. The wife, well, every time she walks by a mirror she will be reminded that the warranty is about to run out, if not already.
I was married to mine for 27 years. Wound up leaving me and the kids, finished raising the kids on my own. Was sheer emotional hell for a few years, but as time went along, things took a turn for the better. In her case, she's holding a losing ticket and has hinted as much to a couple of friends. Tough shite. She made the bed and has my fullest blessing to lay in that motherfricker. Meanwhile, after getting the kids on their own, I started turning a bit of attention to myself.
I am telling you that as long as you don't do something stupid (rebound relationships, etc), that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Be careful of what you let spend the night with you. There are a lot of crazy, mean bitches crawling around out there. I have no doubt that there are some decent ladies out there somewhere, but it's hell going through the crazies to find one of them.
Posted on 7/14/15 at 7:07 pm to damnedoldtigah
quote:
I was married to mine for 27 years. Wound up leaving me and the kids, finished raising the kids on my own. Was sheer emotional hell for a few years, but as time went along, things took a turn for the better. In her case, she's holding a losing ticket and has hinted as much to a couple of friends. Tough shite. She made the bed and has my fullest blessing to lay in that motherfricker. Meanwhile, after getting the kids on their own, I started turning a bit of attention to myself.
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