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Started By
Message
re: Just got served divorce papers today
Posted on 7/19/15 at 8:41 am to damnedoldtigah
Posted on 7/19/15 at 8:41 am to damnedoldtigah
quote:
The hospital I was working at when I had my divorce had a very interesting informal culture. We all took care of each other in bad times (i.e., family deaths, houses burning down, divorces, etc).
Their informal practice was that when it was learned that you were going through a divorce you were assigned a "guide" who was someone who spent time with you, listened to you, kept you from making real bad decisions, and essentially kept you from destroying yourself during this time - us males are pretty infamous for this during the loss of a spouse.
I actually had two guides, who took turns keeping an eye on me and keeping track 24/7. One of them had been through two divorces herself and could offer a unique perspective. The other was very well balanced mentally and was not afraid to confront me if she thought I was about to do something wreckless. They did a pretty fair job of keeping me grounded for about 18 months until I made the decision to go into therapy.
I doubt that I will ever be able to repay that debt other than to offer a helping hand to others.
But, yes, find a "guide" who will have your best interests at heart, and if female, will not get into a sexual relationship with you.
I was so lucky to have been working at that particular hospital at the time.
And if you worked at a hospital you had the built in advantage of having already frequently cheated on your wife and having more sex readily available.
3
Posted on 7/19/15 at 1:35 pm to TejasPete
Why is it that so many people think it is all about sex? It saddens me to see the number of posts in this thread about cheating, sex, younger women, etc.
Marriage is meant to mean something, it was designed to be a life long, exclusive commitment. It saddens and sickens me to see so many cheapen it.
Marriage is meant to mean something, it was designed to be a life long, exclusive commitment. It saddens and sickens me to see so many cheapen it.
Posted on 7/19/15 at 1:37 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Time to take the red bill brah
Posted on 7/19/15 at 1:38 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
:kige:
Posted on 7/19/15 at 2:00 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Because, with that many kids, we figured you REALLY like sex!
Posted on 7/19/15 at 2:04 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Marriage is meant to mean something, it was designed to be a life long, exclusive commitment. It saddens and sickens me to see so many cheapen it.
Just wait for the decree of dissolution to arrive. It's a pretty happy day.
Posted on 7/19/15 at 2:12 pm to redstick13
I have not seen you say whether or not she is allowing some other dude to yodel in the canyon or not. I know that sounds harsh but if someone else is slapping little Johnny behind the ear it is better to face it head on and joke about it because that forces you to face reality.
If someone else is hitting it and you take her back she will own you forever and is not worth it. Once a chic slings the monkey and you take her back you are forever looked at by her as a pussy and you will never have an equal relationship ever again.
It will get better. Face whatever reality is and hit it head on. If she's chunking that unit do you really want her back? Ask yourself that everyday and let the healing begin!!
Good luck dude and I hate that you and your family are going through this. Take it from me, I'm 47, live at the beach and 25 year old pussy is awesome!
If someone else is hitting it and you take her back she will own you forever and is not worth it. Once a chic slings the monkey and you take her back you are forever looked at by her as a pussy and you will never have an equal relationship ever again.
It will get better. Face whatever reality is and hit it head on. If she's chunking that unit do you really want her back? Ask yourself that everyday and let the healing begin!!
Good luck dude and I hate that you and your family are going through this. Take it from me, I'm 47, live at the beach and 25 year old pussy is awesome!
Posted on 7/19/15 at 2:16 pm to TejasPete
quote:
And if you worked at a hospital you had the built in advantage of having already frequently cheated on your wife and having more sex readily available.
There were opportunities, but no I never cheated on her. I took my wedding vows seriously and was not going to do anything stupid that would have hurt her or my kids.
If I had it to do over, I would have still honored my vows.
Posted on 7/19/15 at 11:57 pm to damnedoldtigah
He hasn't resonded so I can only assume that someone is horse fricking his old lady.
Congratulations Beta!
Congratulations Beta!
Posted on 7/20/15 at 12:02 am to BamaScoop
Asshat 
This post was edited on 7/20/15 at 12:04 am
Posted on 7/20/15 at 12:02 am to Corch Urban Myers
and to the OP: don't chase...replace 
Posted on 7/20/15 at 12:16 am to redstick13
Posts like this further my decision to not get married, I don't see the point.
Bitches be cray cray!!
Bitches be cray cray!!
Posted on 7/20/15 at 12:23 am to BamaScoop
quote:
I have not seen you say whether or not she is allowing some other dude to yodel in the canyon or not. I know that sounds harsh but if someone else is slapping little Johnny behind the ear it is better to face it head on and joke about it because that forces you to face reality. If someone else is hitting it and you take her back she will own you forever and is not worth it. Once a chic slings the monkey and you take her back you are forever looked at by her as a pussy and you will never have an equal relationship ever again. It will get better. Face whatever reality is and hit it head on. If she's chunking that unit do you really want her back?
Pssst....Joe Dirt....You missed whisker biscuit
Posted on 7/21/15 at 12:05 pm to BamaScoop
quote:
He hasn't resonded so I can only assume that someone is horse fricking his old lady.
Congratulations Beta!
I haven't responded because I have been busy. My wife is not having an affair, I'm not having an affair, our divorce is not about sex. Believe it or not, there is more to life than sex!
\
Posted on 7/21/15 at 12:08 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
our divorce is not about sex. Believe it or not, there is more to life than sex!
So you're not fricking her often enough?
Posted on 7/21/15 at 12:10 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Posted on 7/21/15 at 12:13 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
The fact that cheapens marriage is the very real easiness in which a marriage can be exited.
Further, there is most often a very real financial incentive for the non-income producer to exit the marriage.
As far as your comments about sex.....unfortunately in todays world, women often have "back up" before they exit.
I feel for you. It sucks, period.
The best thing you can do is DECIDE to put it/her in the rear view mirror. Its going to take a while for you to come out of the funk...so the faster you get on getting on, the better.
Good News Tho....there will be a point when you realize she did you a favor. And most of the reasons she used to exit you will receive. (All the thing she wants you will end up being the beneficiary of). Ive seen it happen at least 5 times to close relatives and friends.
Further, there is most often a very real financial incentive for the non-income producer to exit the marriage.
As far as your comments about sex.....unfortunately in todays world, women often have "back up" before they exit.
I feel for you. It sucks, period.
The best thing you can do is DECIDE to put it/her in the rear view mirror. Its going to take a while for you to come out of the funk...so the faster you get on getting on, the better.
Good News Tho....there will be a point when you realize she did you a favor. And most of the reasons she used to exit you will receive. (All the thing she wants you will end up being the beneficiary of). Ive seen it happen at least 5 times to close relatives and friends.
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 12:17 pm
Posted on 7/21/15 at 9:54 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
I was just asking. If there has been no infidelity I wouldvtry to save my marriage. Just my opinion!
Posted on 7/23/15 at 7:13 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
I'm always on the lookout for issues now that could explode into serious problems later. I've seen so many other marriages blow to bits and I really don't want that to happen to us.
Good luck
Good luck
Posted on 7/26/15 at 12:09 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Hire a female lawyer, be willing to compromise and stipulate through mediation, ask for every other Thursday-Sunday visitation + alternating holidays + a few weeks in the summer, get ready to pay child support for 5 kids + 15% of your gross in spousal support for 3 years, keep your mouth shut to your kids and let your soon-to-be-ex get on with her life, etc. It was not a "good" marriage...she was freaking miserable and the writing has been on the wall for 2 years!
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