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Started By
Message
re: Should I leave Ukraine?
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:19 am to OldmanBeasley
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:19 am to OldmanBeasley
quote:
I truly wish you the best, but your marriage seems like a disaster.
Honestly I'm guessing it's just two very different people having a different sort of relationship than any of us are accustomed to. Hard to relate to it.
2
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:33 am to WaWaWeeWa
No answer from her or the Mother-in-law. I am assuming internet and phone lines are down now. So I'm in the dark.
You have to realize that I wasn't convinced Russia would invade either. The picture in the park and cafe on page 12 were taking the day before I flew out in the the city of Kharkov. A whole big city just going about their normal day lives. Not a person in that city was acting like Russia would invade that I saw. If I new Russia would definitely invade we are talking about a whole different conversation. She would probably would have agreed to leave or I would have stayed with her.
You have to realize that I wasn't convinced Russia would invade either. The picture in the park and cafe on page 12 were taking the day before I flew out in the the city of Kharkov. A whole big city just going about their normal day lives. Not a person in that city was acting like Russia would invade that I saw. If I new Russia would definitely invade we are talking about a whole different conversation. She would probably would have agreed to leave or I would have stayed with her.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:38 am to N2daWild
quote:
You have to realize that I wasn't convinced Russia would invade
Those troops on the border just wanted to have tea
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:38 am to N2daWild
quote:
If I new Russia would definitely invade we are talking about a whole different conversation.
I’m not going to argue with you, I just assess risk differently. When it comes to things like war, natural disasters, etc. I’m not comfortable with even a low level of risk if it’s a situation I can easily get out of. The consequences are too great to not act. We just have different philosophies.
I just want you to understand that it may not be too late to do something to get them out.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:44 am to Pettifogger
We have a normal marriage 9 months a year and she typically visits her son and parents in Ukraine twice a year for a couple of months each time. I usually go with her on one of the trips but I typically don't stay for the whole 4 months. Last year and this year are a different because of the baby being born in March 2021, my work situation and her wanting to do IVF again this year. I also need a visa if I stay more than 3 months in a 6 month period.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:49 am to N2daWild
What in the world is going on in this thread?
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:53 am to N2daWild
Believe it or not Russia first put troops on Ukraine's border in March of 2021. When I bought the plane tickets in Nov of 2021, I had no idea how this was all going to unfold.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 12:01 pm to N2daWild
I flew to Ukraine and they are not worried at all. Toilet paper on the shelf, living a normal life, they don't even talk about it. When I find someone that spoke English they would laugh when I asked them if Russia would invade. "We are like brothers".
My step son went to school yesterday. I even asked him before he went to sleep last night if he thought Russia would invade. "No, I don't think so".
I would read American news and get worried of course, but I look around and it is easy to not to be concerned. The week before I left the news became increasingly worse, but still Ukrainians were not concerned. Of course their news told them a different story.
It wasn't an easy decision.
My step son went to school yesterday. I even asked him before he went to sleep last night if he thought Russia would invade. "No, I don't think so".
I would read American news and get worried of course, but I look around and it is easy to not to be concerned. The week before I left the news became increasingly worse, but still Ukrainians were not concerned. Of course their news told them a different story.
It wasn't an easy decision.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 12:06 pm to N2daWild
You are a better man than me. I don't think I could marry someone who wants to, much less actually does, spend at least a third of the year in a far away foreign country.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 12:13 pm to N2daWild
quote:
You have to realize that I wasn't convinced Russia would invade either.
But you did know there was a likely chance, that’s the whole reason you started this thread. And everyone told you it’s not worth risking your family’s life to stay in Ukraine for no reason. I even personally told you this on the second page:
“Best case scenario: you and your family are safe in the US and things with Russia cool down and nothing bad happens.
Worst case scenario: your family stays and gets murdered in the streets.”
I wish you and your family the best, but your wife is putting your daughter’s life in danger.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 12:28 pm to N2daWild
quote:
We can criticize my wife's decision all day long, but it doesn't help much
A lot of people gave their advice. Almost nobody suggested you do what you ended up doing.
Now you are defending yours and your wife's choices. Why didn't you just make this thread a cool story bro, rather than asking for advice? You clearly did exactly what you planned to do all along, and now you're calling everyone who disagrees with you an idiot.
Good luck with all this. A semi retired, financially strained disabled person who had a child with a mail order Ukrainian woman clearly has it all figured out. Lean into your gut.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:02 pm to Pettifogger
From an on the ground report in Der Spiegel, description of women and children going into Russia, where the rest of their families are, from Ukraine, under the 'don't expect us to stay there and fight against our families'.
Possible insight into the evolved family where the Fathers aren't expected to be around often.
Possible insight into the evolved family where the Fathers aren't expected to be around often.
quote:
The reports have been accompanied by myriad images of women who, like Svetlana, are arriving in Russia with their children. They pull their suitcases across the parking lot, past Svetlana and her daughter and into the tents that have been set up nearby or to the waiting buses.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:03 pm to N2daWild
quote:
We can criticize my wife's decision all day long, but it doesn't help much. I don't agree with her decision either, still doesn't change much. My wife can 100% make her own decisions about her life, that is how our marriage works. As for the baby, to think I could just pry the baby from her arms and take her on the plane with no ticket is just not as simple as that sounds. My wife took the risk to bring that baby into this world, not me. My wife loves that baby very much. Taking the baby from her without her permission was never an option. How do you do that exactly? Should I just slap her around and take the baby by force? We did have that discussion and yes she is hard headed. My decision was about not getting on the plane or getting on it. Getting my family out was not an option.
Not going to lie, you sound like a fricking horrible leader for your family.
I cannot understand how so many men just lay down and let their wives do whatever. It's sickening.
This post was edited on 2/24/22 at 1:09 pm
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:07 pm to N2daWild
The best advice I can give you is just logout of tigerdroppings for a few days and focus on your family
This post was edited on 2/24/22 at 1:10 pm
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:10 pm to N2daWild
quote:
I don't agree with her decision either, still doesn't change much. My wife can 100% make her own decisions about her life, that is how our marriage works. As for the baby, to think I could just pry the baby from her arms and take her on the plane with no ticket is just not as simple as that sounds. My wife took the risk to bring that baby into this world, not me. My wife loves that baby very much.
This shite is a troll right?
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:11 pm to N2daWild
quote:
My decision now, is to go back or stay here
let it go man
find yourself a young american wife that is looking to breed...
Posted on 2/24/22 at 1:16 pm to CaptSpaulding
quote:
Ok I’m starting to think this is a troll
you think...
Posted on 2/24/22 at 2:02 pm to Dissident Aggressor
He left enough hints where it is pretty easy to figure out who he is. Some of his story may be true, but he is leaving out some details.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 2:05 pm to N2daWild
quote:
As of right now, the wife doesn't plan on leaving. Kids will eventually go back to school and people back to work.
Man, I really feel for you. I have sat back for weeks as the uniformed and gullible posted how this was a ploy by the Biden administration to deflect from problems inside our own country and it was not gonna happen. And they were led astray because anti-Biden administration news agency's feed their ignorance. You say you don't trust the American media, but you trusted the American media outlets that basically told you what you wanted to here.
So let me tell you this, Putin will raze Ukraine to the ground if he can. This will get worse before it gets anywhere near better. The Russians can be brutal when unleashed and the have wanted to put a foot in the Ukrainians for a minute so once the ground troops are deployed it wont be pretty.
Eastern European women can be and usually are difficult to deal with, especially if you allow them to feel a sense of dominance in the relationship. Stop thinking about going back and start trying to figuring away to get her out. If she still refuses, then do what you have to to get your kid out, because hate to say it she'll probably be gone.
Good luck to you, but you need to assert yourself and get you kid out.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 6:21 pm to USMCTIGER1970
I knew I heard of Lysychansk(our thread starter's family is in) not long ago. Then I remembered a travel vlogger I enjoy that covers eastern Europe and Russia alot. His channel is baldanbankrupt. 11 months ago he posted his trek to the city to find a special mosaic. It's about 30 mins long and you really get to see what this area has been through. Here's the link if you're interested.
LINK
LINK
This post was edited on 2/24/22 at 6:23 pm
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