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Started By
Message
re: Why do single men fear rejection so much?
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:36 am to themasterpater
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:36 am to themasterpater
quote:
IMO women are just too much of a pain in the arse these days. You have to straddle some impossible line of being a strong man, but being sensitive. Being in good shape but not better than her. Making good money, but downplay it because of privilege. Give her enough attention that competes with the constant social media look at me shite while still not smothering her. All that is exhausting and not worth it. It's not fear of rejection that runs through my head...it's a cost benefit analysis.
Wow is this truly how men see it? That makes sense. The same could be argued for how women see men... can be hot, but not too hot to make them feel insecure, give a little attention, but not too much or they feel smothered...its the exact same for both parties. But the benefits should outweigh all of that, right?
1
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:37 am to Rouge
quote:
Rejection confirms our own perceived inadequacy and our own lack of worth. Better to ignore or avoid these truths than face them head on.
Well shite.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:39 am to LadyTigress
quote:
I love striking up convos with strangers, I can talk with anyone
but that doesn't necessarily mean you want them hitting on you, right? I can talk to some hideous women, but thats not a hustle. Thats just being human.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:40 am to LadyTigress
Rejection IRL with people you have to associate with still makes things awkward.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:41 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:
but that doesn't necessarily mean you want them hitting on you, right? I can talk to some hideous women, but thats not a hustle. Thats just being human.
Well yeah, that's true. I am diplomatic about backing out of a convo where I can tell the guy is feeling it and I'm not. I would never just rudely walk away or shoot a guy down. People can be ruthless but I don't operate like that.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:42 am to themasterpater
quote:
IMO women are just too much of a pain in the arse these days. You have to straddle some impossible line of being a strong man, but being sensitive. Being in good shape but not better than her. Making good money, but downplay it because of privilege. Give her enough attention that competes with the constant social media look at me shite while still not smothering her. All that is exhausting and not worth it. It's not fear of rejection that runs through my head...it's a cost benefit analysis.
You should probably date dudes instead
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:42 am to SabiDojo
quote:
As a trans man I can see how it seems silly, but since I started my hormone therapy I too get insecure around the opposite sex.
That's it. Fight me.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:43 am to LadyTigress
Why do some women become nit pickers at everything after they get married.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:43 am to LadyTigress
No self-respecting woman should want to love a man that does not love himself. Fear of rejection equals not loving oneself
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:44 am to LadyTigress
It's how I see it, not necessarily how all men see it. Should the benefits outweigh it? Sure. I think reality begs to differ most of the time though. At first in the honeymoon stage everything is great, after that it's the same shite on repeat. Most guys are more logical and less emotional, so those thoughts run through my head more often and with more weight than "oh my god she's hot I like her let's ask her out". Once I asses the sobering reality that this is gna be a shitpile of effort with little return I pass before making the first move. I don't go out of my way I'll put it that way. I'll have to be great friends first and then pursue, not the reverse.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:45 am to LadyTigress
Now that I'm in my late 50's, I don't fear rejection like I did when younger. I do put myself out there and take plenty of chances but, if a woman says no, it's okay because life goes on and it's too short to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes you have to go through some No's before you get a Yes.
This post was edited on 8/10/17 at 10:46 am
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:45 am to LadyTigress
I don't see why with all this gender equality stuff these days that women don't start pursuing the men more now. Many still subject themselves to gender norms by waiting for a guy to ask them out.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:46 am to themasterpater
quote:
It's how I see it, not necessarily how all men see it. Should the benefits outweigh it? Sure. I think reality begs to differ most of the time though. At first in the honeymoon stage everything is great, after that it's the same shite on repeat. Most guys are more logical and less emotional, so those thoughts run through my head more often and with more weight than "oh my god she's hot I like her let's ask her out". Once I asses the sobering reality that this is gna be a shitpile of effort with little return I pass before making the first move. I don't go out of my way I'll put it that way. I'll have to be great friends first and then pursue, not the reverse.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:46 am to LadyTigress
Are you the one that tried to give the lame tinder advice?
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:46 am to Iron Sights
Lol no tears on my end. Just truth.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:49 am to Alittlestitious
quote:
women don't start pursuing the men more now
You expect a woman to actually put in effort at anything? Why do that when they can sit around and blame men for everything and not take any responsibility upon themselves?
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:51 am to LadyTigress
quote:
Kind of an age-old question, but why are men so afraid of putting themselves out there? Men need to take more chances. I've seen/heard so many situations over the years where the guy thought he didn't stand a chance so he didn't take action, then later discovered the girl was into him too. The worst a woman can say is no, but men need to not be so afraid to hear no, and move to the next one if he does. Women will surprise you sometimes and give men a shot when they may not expect it. Women love a man who shows confidence and action. Just putting that out there to all of you who are still or back on the market
If women would just say what's on their minds instead of playing stupid little games where they throw out ambiguous "hints", the world would be a better place.
Also, don't flirt with guy's you're not into. It's because of women's passiveness and bipolar-ishness that men don't want to "put themselves out there". Once bitten, twice shy.
Now get back in the kitchen and fix me a sandwich
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:51 am to tigrbabe08
quote:
You expect a woman to actually put in effort at anything? Why do that when they can sit around and blame men for everything and not take any responsibility upon themselves?
Wow yeah, definitely cynical. Do you hate all women everywhere, or just the vast majority?
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:53 am to Krokodil
quote:
If women would just say what's on their minds instead of playing stupid little games where they throw out ambiguous "hints", the world would be a better place. Also, don't flirt with guy's you're not into. It's because of women's passiveness and bipolar-ishness that men don't want to "put themselves out there". Once bitten, twice shy.
But men like the challenge? That's where the "games" come from.
Posted on 8/10/17 at 10:54 am to LadyTigress
Not today, Chris
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