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re: Bank Accounts
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:25 pm to Ag_16
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:25 pm to Ag_16
Once you're married, I just don't think the "my money, your money and our money" mindset will work long-term. You're probably going to have separate 401k/retirement stuff as it is.
Unless there is quite a bit of separate debt/expenses that will have to be serviced well into the marriage, I would move towards joint accounts and just do rigid budgeting.
Unless there is quite a bit of separate debt/expenses that will have to be serviced well into the marriage, I would move towards joint accounts and just do rigid budgeting.
2
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:28 pm to Ag_16
This question comes up quite a bit, the answer is: do what works for the two of you.
My wife and I have kept our personal checking and savings accounts separate and we created joint checking and joint savings accounts. Each pay period a set amount of our checks are direct deposited into joint checking and joint checking as a flag set so that any deposits to it over a certain amount sends a little over into joint savings.
We made sure our individual contributions add up to be a little more than enough for the house note, insurances, utilities, etc. This way property stuff in both our names gets paid by both of us and we have our own money to do our own things with. we're both financially responsible so we're both keeping an eye on the joint accounts just in the off-chance some fraudulent charges show up.
That works for us.
My wife and I have kept our personal checking and savings accounts separate and we created joint checking and joint savings accounts. Each pay period a set amount of our checks are direct deposited into joint checking and joint checking as a flag set so that any deposits to it over a certain amount sends a little over into joint savings.
We made sure our individual contributions add up to be a little more than enough for the house note, insurances, utilities, etc. This way property stuff in both our names gets paid by both of us and we have our own money to do our own things with. we're both financially responsible so we're both keeping an eye on the joint accounts just in the off-chance some fraudulent charges show up.
That works for us.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:36 pm to Ace Midnight
I have friends in my age group (low 30s) that have separate money and I find it strange.
He Venmo's her for day care. She Venmo's him for her car note because she can't cover it. He covers the mortgage. She pays all other household bills. They pay separate cell phones. Overall I find it very odd.
My wife and I have the exact same monthly budget for personal spending. Mine goes to guns, bike parts, and bourbon mostly. Hers goes to clothes, nails, and whatever else she wants. We don't care what happens in those areas, as long as we stay below the agreed upon monthly cap.
If we did this budget based off of income produced she would be broke as shite. That's no way to live life. She's my wife.
He Venmo's her for day care. She Venmo's him for her car note because she can't cover it. He covers the mortgage. She pays all other household bills. They pay separate cell phones. Overall I find it very odd.
My wife and I have the exact same monthly budget for personal spending. Mine goes to guns, bike parts, and bourbon mostly. Hers goes to clothes, nails, and whatever else she wants. We don't care what happens in those areas, as long as we stay below the agreed upon monthly cap.
If we did this budget based off of income produced she would be broke as shite. That's no way to live life. She's my wife.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:47 pm to USMCguy121
quote:Respectfully, my man...
I had a joint account with my first wife and she analyzed every purchase i ever made. You don't want to get into a situation where you can no longer spend the money you earn as you please. Thats a great way to breed anger and resentment.
Your experience is not evidence that joint checking accounts don't work. Just that you married the wrong woman.
As long as you and your spouse are on the same page with spending, there won't be any problems with joint accounts. It will make things easier and also will put you into the mindset of having a single household income, rather than 2 separate incomes.
If the OP and his wife-to-be aren't on the same page with spending, it's probably not going to work. Doesn't matter if they have joint or separate accounts.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:50 pm to thegreatboudini
quote:
My wife and I have the exact same monthly budget for personal spending. Mine goes to guns, bike parts, and bourbon mostly. Hers goes to clothes, nails, and whatever else she wants. We don't care what happens in those areas, as long as we stay below the agreed upon monthly cap.
If we did this budget based off of income produced she would be broke as shite. That's no way to live life. She's my wife.
Yep, this is what makes the most sense to me.
We deposit both of our into our joint checking account, this is the account that pays the credit card bill that is used to pay all of our bills and monthly expenses (groceries, gas, dining out, etc...). We then each have a personal checking account that is used as an "allowance" of sorts where we each get the same amount to spend on whatever we want. It's a no questions asked account.
I'm older than my wife and she went to school for longer than I did, so I'm a bit further along in my career (and in a different career path). It would be kinda fricked if I was driving around in a Mercedes because I could afford it, and had her driving around in a Corolla because that's all that she could afford
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:53 pm to thegreatboudini
It really doesn’t have anything to do with trying to hide money from her or her trying to hide money from me. Im more or less trying to figure out what is the most efficient way to setup our finances. Whether that be a joint account for bills and house needs and we have our own personal accounts for personal stuff (lol) or just one big joint account and use it for everything. Just wanted to hear some opinions about either idea
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:55 pm to BenDover
quote:
Amazon and target purchases
My biggest fear
seeing how much she spends. Can’t leave out hobby lobby too lol Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:56 pm to Ace Midnight
quote:
Once you're married, I just don't think the "my money, your money and our money" mindset will work long-term
10s of millions of data points disagree
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:57 pm to Ag_16
There is another practical reason to have a couple of accounts at different banks. If one of your accounts gets hacked, wiped out, frozen, whatever, you have another account to fall back on.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 2:57 pm to Quidam65
How come? (Genuinely asking)
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:03 pm to Ag_16
quote:
It really doesn’t have anything to do with trying to hide money from her or her trying to hide money from me. Im more or less trying to figure out what is the most efficient way to setup our finances.
How is more accounts more efficient? The most efficient by far is a joint account and that is it.
The only reason to have separate accounts is to hide spending. I find it very funny seeing people talk about "her money, my money, etc." When you are married that doesn't exist. There really isn't his money or her money. It is simply both of your money (except when there is a pre-nup/post-nup/assets brought into the marriage, etc.)
If someone is really concerned with the other's spending then having separate accounts isn't a solution. Its just closing your eyes until one day the other person does find out what has been hidden all that time and it blows up.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:15 pm to Ag_16
quote:That question doesn't exist in a vacuum, though. Even if you aren't spending your "separate" money nefariously, it could still lead to trust issues if your spending isn't at least available for each other to see.
It really doesn’t have anything to do with trying to hide money from her or her trying to hide money from me. Im more or less trying to figure out what is the most efficient way to setup our finances.
But the bigger issue is that money and spending is a microcosm of marriage. If you aren't on the same page with spending, or feel like you each need some dedicated money to spend on your own that the other can't see (even if it's just mundane purchases and you're just trying to avoid nagging), that would be a red flag to me.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:18 pm to Ag_16
quote:
Im more or less trying to figure out what is the most efficient way to setup our finances.
That's fair. I think our setup is about as easy as possible.
1 checking account where all money lands and we each have an Amex that gets paid with said checking.
Then we have a handful of dedicated savings accounts that have auto withdrawals monthly for the vacation fund, vehicle fund, emergency fund, investment fund, etc.
A slush fund savings account works for some people, but I like to show definition on where our money is going.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:20 pm to thegreatboudini
Do some of you guys really ask your wives to transfer $27.55 to you in order to split the internet bill? Let alone for every bill?
That would wear me out for every single bill.
That would wear me out for every single bill.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:23 pm to TheWiz
quote:
Do some of you guys really ask your wives to transfer $27.55 to you in order to split the internet bill? Let alone for every bill?
Not only do they do it, they do it publicly on Venmo. The most recent one I scratched my head at was "half of outdoor coffee table".
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:23 pm to Ag_16
Wife and I share all accounts. Her miney is mine and my money is hers.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:24 pm to bod312
So you have 1 single account between you and your wife?
And personally I think it would be more efficient to have 1 joint account strictly for bills so you don’t have 1000+ transactions going through the account. Just trying to gather multiple opinions from the board before making a decision. Some have been very helpful
And personally I think it would be more efficient to have 1 joint account strictly for bills so you don’t have 1000+ transactions going through the account. Just trying to gather multiple opinions from the board before making a decision. Some have been very helpful
This post was edited on 9/23/22 at 3:26 pm
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:25 pm to Ag_16
My wife and I lived together for a long time before we got married, so we were used to having our own accounts. We kept it that way the first couple years after marriage. Then I found out she had run up a little CC debt. Not much, but enough that she was paying interest on it. I paid it off for her under the condition that we move to a joint account.
Now we have joint savings and joint checking. We have a couple of credit cards that we put everything on.
Now we have joint savings and joint checking. We have a couple of credit cards that we put everything on.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:46 pm to Ag_16
Joint accounts have been successful for us. But I think part of that is because we got married young and built everything together. If I was getting married at my current age and income I don't think I'd be as willing to immediately go joint accounts on everything.
Posted on 9/23/22 at 3:50 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
There’s a few in here now actually
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