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Started By
Message
re: Marriage and Money
Posted on 7/3/25 at 6:44 pm to Mariner
Posted on 7/3/25 at 6:44 pm to Mariner
quote:
Why get married if she can take half my stuff and custody of my kids but I can't take hers.
You don’t get to take any of the other person’s pre-marriage assets.
quote:
However, if it works out then sign a prenup that he does not get anything earned before the marriage.
You don’t need a prenup for that
0
Posted on 7/3/25 at 6:48 pm to rowbear1922
quote:
Everyone needs a pre-nup,
For what specifically?
quote:
You decide the terms; not the govt
The government still get to decide whether or not the terms you put in the agreement are enforceable. Pre-nups get invalidated all the time.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 7:01 pm to JohnnyKilroy
Opie should have her give him the money and throw into bitcoin or uncovered calls ETFs. Profit and pay her back later while she builds for the future with her husband.
Kidding aside, if you’re a man, you should be ready to give your wife half your shite if it doesn’t work out. If she has a child for you, suck it up and make more if paying her isn’t enough take home for you. Also assuming she doesn’t cuck/cheat on you. Different story there.
If you can’t handle the above, don’t get married because he/she is already a hoe/bum and you know it deep down. They take half your shite no matter what and you’re going to look like a fricking loser trying to get a prenup with under a million in assets which hardly anyone has when they get married anyway.
Kidding aside, if you’re a man, you should be ready to give your wife half your shite if it doesn’t work out. If she has a child for you, suck it up and make more if paying her isn’t enough take home for you. Also assuming she doesn’t cuck/cheat on you. Different story there.
If you can’t handle the above, don’t get married because he/she is already a hoe/bum and you know it deep down. They take half your shite no matter what and you’re going to look like a fricking loser trying to get a prenup with under a million in assets which hardly anyone has when they get married anyway.
This post was edited on 7/3/25 at 7:03 pm
Posted on 7/3/25 at 7:03 pm to Jmcc64
Everyone has a prenup. You either make your own or let the government make one for you.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 7:24 pm to Jmcc64
To each their own I guess but I can't imagine splitting monthly bills and expenses with spouse from seperate accounts. Our spending and saving/investing is all towards joint priorities and goals. Do you split bills 50/50 or proportionatly based on income? If one spouse doesn't invest are they going to live a more meager retirement while saver enjoys their individual nestegg?
When we started off, wife took over bills (back then it was harder to track/pay them while deployed so made sense she'd run household finances) I always handled investments.
When we started off, wife took over bills (back then it was harder to track/pay them while deployed so made sense she'd run household finances) I always handled investments.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 7:47 pm to Rize
quote:
My wife and I have never had joint accounts. She has her checking, savings, HYSA and retirement accounts and I have mine.
my wife and i have a joint checking but it is basically hers. i do not use it. she has her own multiple retirement accounts as do i. i have my own personal checking, business checking and a checking for my solo401k to feed investments.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:00 pm to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
Pre-nups get invalidated all the time.
Not here in Florida if theyre half way done property.
Get a God damn prenup, people. It was a deal breaker for my wife and I. I was not going to get married without one.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:03 pm to TheOcean
quote:
Get a God damn prenup, people. It was a deal breaker for my wife and I. I was not going to get married without one.
I got married when I was 27 and neither of us had anything we were worried about protecting. We probably had a combined negative net worth at the time
This post was edited on 7/3/25 at 8:04 pm
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:11 pm to Jmcc64
In my faith (Christian) we combine. It’s all together for better or worse. We are all in. I manage the finances. We talk about any high dollar expense. We allocate to needs and saving first with a little spending money for us and the kids.
If you aren’t all in as a spouse, I wouldn’t marry.
If you aren’t all in as a spouse, I wouldn’t marry.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:26 pm to Jmcc64
They are getting married, becoming one.
All that is hers and all that is his are now theirs together.
Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.
All that is hers and all that is his are now theirs together.
Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:34 pm to Jmcc64
Odds are that she will leave him for whatever reason. He would be better off with separate accounts
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:53 pm to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
For what specifically?
Ummm, set up the rules, money split, alimony, kids visitation etc.
quote:
The government still get to decide whether or not the terms you put in the agreement are enforceable. Pre-nups get invalidated all the time.
I'm not saying put anything in it like, "If she gains more than 10 lbs from her marriage weight, she gets nothing". I've known of people paying alimony for longer than they were married. I'd have provisions in it that my finances I would bring into a marriage would not be allowed to be touched, including any growth they had over the marriage. I'd have all cars in separate names etc. Joint account for common bills but individual accounts for non-necessary spending etc.
I'd want it as painless as possible if a divorce happened
ETA: Hell, there was a thread yesterday on the OT about a man overhearing a lawyer talking to a female client that was planning her divorce as soon as her husband sold his plumbing business.
I'd want something in paper, signed by a notary preventing being taken advantage of like the situation above.
This post was edited on 7/3/25 at 8:57 pm
Posted on 7/3/25 at 8:55 pm to fallguy_1978
Yeah, if you're both broke then maybe doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I had a significant amount of assets when I got married so wanted to make sure they're protected. She's still provided for in the prenup if we do get divorced, though.
Posted on 7/3/25 at 9:23 pm to Jmcc64
All money goes into one account here, I pay all the bills with it, she uses CC's that I pay off monthly. Only thing separate are retirements, but that's just how things work with employer retirement accounts.
IDK how he has done saving, but if she has saved well and he hasn't, they should probably do the reverse of what we do...
IDK how he has done saving, but if she has saved well and he hasn't, they should probably do the reverse of what we do...
Posted on 7/3/25 at 9:25 pm to TheOcean
quote:
It was a deal breaker for my wife and I. I was not going to get married without one.
quote:
TheOcean
Not shocking
Posted on 7/3/25 at 9:27 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
Just make sure you get one when you propose to your boyfriend
Posted on 7/3/25 at 9:29 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
quote:
mean, the status quo is any assets before a marriage remain the separate property of the individual. You don't just give half away upon marriage.
Inheritance also
Posted on 7/3/25 at 10:03 pm to Jmcc64
quote:
know she'll be extremely reluctant to just take all of hers and combine with all of his. That's HER savings that she watches like a hawk.
She doesn't need to combine anything.
They can be transparent and work together. It's "their" money now but she shouldn't withdraw/move it just because marriage
Posted on 7/4/25 at 6:10 am to Jmcc64
Good comments in this thread already, my only add: Does she already own a home?
I can see tension easily building if they want to buy and she refuses to dip into this savings for down payment.
I can see tension easily building if they want to buy and she refuses to dip into this savings for down payment.
Posted on 7/4/25 at 8:45 am to bulldog95
quote:
mean, the status quo is any assets before a marriage remain the separate property of the individual. You don't just give half away upon marriage. Inheritance also
Not if they get co-mingled in accounts, at some point.
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