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re: Best roommate stories
Posted on 8/11/16 at 11:12 am to Hold That Tiger 10
Posted on 8/11/16 at 11:12 am to Hold That Tiger 10
Roommate was messing with a football player's g.friend, player being a huge OL, in our 2nd story apt. My g.friend & I were sitting on the sofa watching tv, I looked out the window and saw the football player pulling into the driveway. The steam coming out his ears was visible. Screamed at my roommie to get the hell out of Dodge, but by then the football player was stomping up the stairs. Roommie, wearing only his drawers, came tearing out of his bedroom, raw terror on his face, took a long look at the door & turned & jumped out the window. Knocking the screen off. Luck of the Irish, he landed on his feet, no real harm, jumped into his car, backed it out of the driveway, back across the street where he got it stuck in a deep ditch. By then the player was screaming out the window. Roommie abandoned his car & ran off down the road. Did not come back to the apt for 3 days.
0
Posted on 8/11/16 at 11:59 am to Hold That Tiger 10
quote:
How could you not notice the taste difference in jack mixed with piss?
Makes sense to me
Posted on 8/11/16 at 12:06 pm to Hold That Tiger 10
Damn, ya'll have some good stories that make mine seem tame. The roommate that I had at the O house our freshman year moved into an apartment with me and another friend. This guy was a little nerdy and had a bit of trouble with the ladies. Well, we finally talked this girl into going out with him (she was known to like the D).
On said night, my other roommate and I were quite drunk when we heard the door open and a girl's voice. We tried not to laugh but the shite he was saying was funny. I mean like bad line funny. But she was a little too drunk... At any rate, I get the bright idea of pulling the sticks off of a couple of bottle rockets and sticking them under the door and lighting them. They shot and amidst the screaming you could hear the rockets bouncing off the walls until they exploded. The door flew open and here was the naked chick clutching at a sheet as she ran screaming out. Man if looks could kill. I still feel kind of bad about that one.
Then there was the time we shot a hole in the wall with a potato gun... And another time we brought a couple of birds from a pet store and put them in the nerdy one's room while he was sleeping (he was afraid of birds). We died laughing at him screaming to get the birds out while he was hiding under the covers...
On said night, my other roommate and I were quite drunk when we heard the door open and a girl's voice. We tried not to laugh but the shite he was saying was funny. I mean like bad line funny. But she was a little too drunk... At any rate, I get the bright idea of pulling the sticks off of a couple of bottle rockets and sticking them under the door and lighting them. They shot and amidst the screaming you could hear the rockets bouncing off the walls until they exploded. The door flew open and here was the naked chick clutching at a sheet as she ran screaming out. Man if looks could kill. I still feel kind of bad about that one.
Then there was the time we shot a hole in the wall with a potato gun... And another time we brought a couple of birds from a pet store and put them in the nerdy one's room while he was sleeping (he was afraid of birds). We died laughing at him screaming to get the birds out while he was hiding under the covers...
Posted on 8/11/16 at 12:31 pm to terd ferguson
One of my roommates was an addict on anything he could get his hands on and was the dirtiest person I've ever known. He also was thief. Drugs, liquor, nasty bitches, poker if he started doing it he was addicted. I thought he was a nice guy at first, from a good family, but first impressions can be deceiving. I didn't know him well at all when he moved into the place.
We rented a duplex from a respectable member of the community. Nice old man with no mean bone in his body. Important member of his church etc.
As the spring semester ended, I got a construction job offer in Colorado. We still had three summer months left on our lease, but the roommate was having money trouble and decided to move in with his brother. So I turned off the electricity, phone, water, cable etc in the place. We had prepaid the lease, couldn't get our money back, and I wanted away from the guy so I locked the door and headed to Colorado for the summer.
I heard thru the grapevine that this roommate had discovered meth and now was addicted to it as well. A month or so later I heard thru the grapevine that he was going into the empty lease house and was having parties in the un air conditioned, no electricity, no water house in Louisiana.
At the end of the summer I came back into town and meet the landlord at the place to give the keys back and do the final walk through.
I can't really give an accurate description of what we found when we opened the door. Turns out the guy and his meth head friends had been squatting in the place. They had been shitting in buckets. There where what seemed like thousands of beer bottles everywhere. There was food full of maggots left everywhere. Right at the front door was a grocery bag full of used whippets. Used condoms where everywhere. Several meth pipes etc. The smell was the worst thing I had ever smelt. Windows were broken. Doors were torn off the hinges.
The nice old land lord about fainted when he saw it and I've never felt so bad in my life. He didn't blame me but I blamed myself for bringing this shite head guy into the landlords life.
The landlord tried to press charges and had the guy arrested, but there was no direct evidence he had done all the damage. I spent three weeks working with a couple Mexican guys the landlord knew to get the place cleaned out and back in shape. We replaced everything.
I never saw the shithead again, and within a year he had od'ed on something and was dead. (Heard thru the grapevine).
I was wild as hell back in the day, lucky to be alive, but this guy was the wildest, craziest, nastiest guy I've ever meet. I wish I had never known him.
We rented a duplex from a respectable member of the community. Nice old man with no mean bone in his body. Important member of his church etc.
As the spring semester ended, I got a construction job offer in Colorado. We still had three summer months left on our lease, but the roommate was having money trouble and decided to move in with his brother. So I turned off the electricity, phone, water, cable etc in the place. We had prepaid the lease, couldn't get our money back, and I wanted away from the guy so I locked the door and headed to Colorado for the summer.
I heard thru the grapevine that this roommate had discovered meth and now was addicted to it as well. A month or so later I heard thru the grapevine that he was going into the empty lease house and was having parties in the un air conditioned, no electricity, no water house in Louisiana.
At the end of the summer I came back into town and meet the landlord at the place to give the keys back and do the final walk through.
I can't really give an accurate description of what we found when we opened the door. Turns out the guy and his meth head friends had been squatting in the place. They had been shitting in buckets. There where what seemed like thousands of beer bottles everywhere. There was food full of maggots left everywhere. Right at the front door was a grocery bag full of used whippets. Used condoms where everywhere. Several meth pipes etc. The smell was the worst thing I had ever smelt. Windows were broken. Doors were torn off the hinges.
The nice old land lord about fainted when he saw it and I've never felt so bad in my life. He didn't blame me but I blamed myself for bringing this shite head guy into the landlords life.
The landlord tried to press charges and had the guy arrested, but there was no direct evidence he had done all the damage. I spent three weeks working with a couple Mexican guys the landlord knew to get the place cleaned out and back in shape. We replaced everything.
I never saw the shithead again, and within a year he had od'ed on something and was dead. (Heard thru the grapevine).
I was wild as hell back in the day, lucky to be alive, but this guy was the wildest, craziest, nastiest guy I've ever meet. I wish I had never known him.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 12:33 pm to PoppaD
you win this thread. I want to punch that a-hole now
i know thats not possible
i know thats not possible
Posted on 8/11/16 at 12:38 pm to link
Did your STD test come back positive?
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:03 am to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
what frat were you in?
Probably Sig Ep
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:07 am to Hold That Tiger 10
Freshman year, I come back from the cafeteria and see about 10 people standing outside my first floor dorm room. Roommate was banging his girlfriend, forgot to close the blinds.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:29 am to Hold That Tiger 10
1) woke up by the sound of my dorm roommate getting his toes sucked by a fat chick
2) roomate was tripping and took a shite in our other roommates chair. Lifted the seat cushion up like a toilet and it was left there entire Mardi Gras weekend.
2) roomate was tripping and took a shite in our other roommates chair. Lifted the seat cushion up like a toilet and it was left there entire Mardi Gras weekend.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:36 am to McCaigBro69
quote:
Girl I brought home laughed her arse off but was the. Taken out of the mood and I drove her back to the dorm. I never forgave him for taking my freshman numbers down.
Weak game bro.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:56 am to link
quote:
i had this roommate that was a big time flamer. i'm talking FABULOUS. one time we got in an argument about who sang "piano man". i bet him $20 it was elton john, and he said "it's billy joel, and if i'm right, you have to marry me." i never back down from a bet, especially from some fig like that. ended up he was right, so i took his stupid fruity arse to new york because he wouldn't shut up about it. so i'm front of this justice of the peace, and as a total joke i'm like "i do" LOL.
looking back, i feel bad just completely joking about the whole thing because we fight so much now. he served me divorce papers like i dunno 3 times, but I told him I'm never signing them because i don't want our kid growing up in a broken home like i did. forgot to mention we adopted a lil boy, but now it's like he's always at the office and never spends any time with us anymore.
quote:
link
You said dad was just on a business trip. I'll never forgive you.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 9:58 am to terd ferguson
quote:
I've been reading through this and thinking back on some of my military roommates... there's one in particular that makes me wonder how we both managed to get out alive.
I was thinking the same thing. These civilian stories are tame
Posted on 8/12/16 at 10:02 am to Hold That Tiger 10
We had this house that had french front doors that opened into the middle of our centrally located living room.
I came home one afternoon from class and swung the doors open.
Sitting there, facing the front door in my laz-e-boy chair, was my butt arse naked roommate jerking off using my other roommates computer to watch porn.
I was face to face with a naked dude mid-masturbation 5 feet away from me. He got up and ran to the bathroom with the damn computer to "finish".
Will never, ever get that out of my mind. Scarred for life.
I came home one afternoon from class and swung the doors open.
Sitting there, facing the front door in my laz-e-boy chair, was my butt arse naked roommate jerking off using my other roommates computer to watch porn.
I was face to face with a naked dude mid-masturbation 5 feet away from me. He got up and ran to the bathroom with the damn computer to "finish".
Will never, ever get that out of my mind. Scarred for life.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 10:07 am to PoppaD
You should gotten a good aswshipping in on him before he died.
Posted on 8/12/16 at 10:19 am to TheCaterpillar
Nothing to bad to report. We did leave my roommate passed out one night when we left to go to the bar. Came back after closing time and homie had shite in the bed and threw up. Rolled around in it pretty good too.
He was a fcking mess so me and my friends left to go to he pool to drink some more and hang out. Saw the room mate an hour later walking to the laundry room to wash all of his shite. I slept somewhere else for the next week or so.
When living in a dorm, we had a guy who was being an arse. Some of the guys would take turns over the course of a weekend going to pea in the back seat area of his truck. Someone also went and dumped a can of sardines under his seat.
Not sure where they guy was that weekend, but he was not in a good mood on Monday when he found out what happened.
He was a fcking mess so me and my friends left to go to he pool to drink some more and hang out. Saw the room mate an hour later walking to the laundry room to wash all of his shite. I slept somewhere else for the next week or so.
When living in a dorm, we had a guy who was being an arse. Some of the guys would take turns over the course of a weekend going to pea in the back seat area of his truck. Someone also went and dumped a can of sardines under his seat.
Not sure where they guy was that weekend, but he was not in a good mood on Monday when he found out what happened.
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