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Message
re: Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on 12/17/18 at 2:47 pm to Geekboy
Posted on 12/17/18 at 2:47 pm to Geekboy
Yes! I was married to one for nearly 10 years.
It's brutal. Never gets better. Episodes came about once every quarter.
"I HATE YOU!"
"Don't leave me!"
This is the best way I can explain it.
She made messes in every aspect of her life, and then she self-medicated.
She is absolutely horrible with any relationship, and almost every action or episode becomes 2 things -
1.) They can justify it by saying "they were upset"
2.) They act like nothing ever happened and cannot understand why someone doesn't want to be their friend or be close to them.
It's brutal. Never gets better. Episodes came about once every quarter.
"I HATE YOU!"
"Don't leave me!"
This is the best way I can explain it.
She made messes in every aspect of her life, and then she self-medicated.
She is absolutely horrible with any relationship, and almost every action or episode becomes 2 things -
1.) They can justify it by saying "they were upset"
2.) They act like nothing ever happened and cannot understand why someone doesn't want to be their friend or be close to them.
2
Posted on 12/17/18 at 2:49 pm to Aubie Spr96
Ok, they lied to me in the 3 month therapy course I took
Posted on 12/17/18 at 2:54 pm to fr33manator
quote:
redheads
Worth it.
One was definitely worth it. The other cried fake rape so, not so much.
Both could frick like all stars.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:00 pm to wheelz007
quote:
They act like nothing ever happened and cannot understand why someone doesn't want to be their friend or be close to them.
It is absolutely mind blowing how they can act like everything is or should be back to normal after having a rage outburst or saying vile stuff to supposed loved ones.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:06 pm to Cdawg
quote:
is absolutely mind blowing how they can act like everything is or should be back to normal after having a rage outburst or saying vile stuff to supposed loved ones.
There are female posters here who are like this consistently.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:14 pm to wheelz007
Mine had been diagnosed years before me with the personality disorder, but never did anything about it.
Then I came along, and I knew better. I should have walked away in 2004 several times.... but her drama and endless outbursts continued and sadly / admittedly, I didn't have the stones to leave her. I married her in '05, which was really.... me giving in to her craziness.
By the time '07 or '08 rolled around, she was mis-diagnosed as Bi-polar and given meds. The meds kept her moderately cool for periods of time but, she couldn't stick to anything for very long... and trouble kept coming. I was called every name in the book because some lady at job #297 gave her a dirty look this morning...
We separated in 2013 and long story short, I took her to an ER for a psyche eval and BOOM - Borderline Personality Trait Disorder. As luck would have it for me, I would later find her Navy discharge papers from '97. She was discharged due to her personality disorder.
A year or so later, I finally divorced her and won full custody of our 2 boys in court, but that took a full year.
It's been almost 4 years and she is a little better today, but still - a train wreck. She lives in north Louisiana and gets our boys about 1 weekend a month or every 6 weeks or so. She's 3.5 hours away and I am grateful.
There are times where she tries to talk about "sally from work" when we meet up for kid drop off, and times where she acts like none of the drama ever happened. Like all of the sudden we are best friends. It's crazy.
It's taken me a long time to get my head on straight. The damage that they do to everyone close to them is legit.
The truth is, I talked out of both sides of my mouth back in those days. I stood my ground and fought back with her, telling her that her BS wasn't tolerated.... but in reality, it was. I stayed or I came back, several times.
I made this mistake 1 more time, with an alcoholic after the flood. That's another story for another day.
But in the end, the best way to keep people from treating you like crap, is to walk away once you see it's how they operate. You aren't going to change them. You aren't going to prove yourself to them and you aren't going to convince them to behave or treat you well.
Stand up for yourself and walk way.
It is my experience and understanding, the Borderline will require months of intense psycho therapy and meds to overcome their mental health disorder. 90-something percent don't over come it because they can't handle confrontation... unless they are the ones on the attack.
Then I came along, and I knew better. I should have walked away in 2004 several times.... but her drama and endless outbursts continued and sadly / admittedly, I didn't have the stones to leave her. I married her in '05, which was really.... me giving in to her craziness.
By the time '07 or '08 rolled around, she was mis-diagnosed as Bi-polar and given meds. The meds kept her moderately cool for periods of time but, she couldn't stick to anything for very long... and trouble kept coming. I was called every name in the book because some lady at job #297 gave her a dirty look this morning...
We separated in 2013 and long story short, I took her to an ER for a psyche eval and BOOM - Borderline Personality Trait Disorder. As luck would have it for me, I would later find her Navy discharge papers from '97. She was discharged due to her personality disorder.
A year or so later, I finally divorced her and won full custody of our 2 boys in court, but that took a full year.
It's been almost 4 years and she is a little better today, but still - a train wreck. She lives in north Louisiana and gets our boys about 1 weekend a month or every 6 weeks or so. She's 3.5 hours away and I am grateful.
There are times where she tries to talk about "sally from work" when we meet up for kid drop off, and times where she acts like none of the drama ever happened. Like all of the sudden we are best friends. It's crazy.
It's taken me a long time to get my head on straight. The damage that they do to everyone close to them is legit.
The truth is, I talked out of both sides of my mouth back in those days. I stood my ground and fought back with her, telling her that her BS wasn't tolerated.... but in reality, it was. I stayed or I came back, several times.
I made this mistake 1 more time, with an alcoholic after the flood. That's another story for another day.
But in the end, the best way to keep people from treating you like crap, is to walk away once you see it's how they operate. You aren't going to change them. You aren't going to prove yourself to them and you aren't going to convince them to behave or treat you well.
Stand up for yourself and walk way.
It is my experience and understanding, the Borderline will require months of intense psycho therapy and meds to overcome their mental health disorder. 90-something percent don't over come it because they can't handle confrontation... unless they are the ones on the attack.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:17 pm to WhiskeyThrottle
quote:
1 - Demolished a rock/brick mailbox shared between him and his neighbor. 2 - Piled the demolished pile in front of his house. 3 - Painted the mailbox halfass almost every day. Sat the mailbox on top of the rock pile so mail could be delivered. 4 - Shattered a mirror for about 3 hours into his front yard 5 - Placed a fence panel from his backyard in his tree in the front yard. Left it for a few weeks. 6 - Vehicles reposessed. 7 - Lost job due to making a death threat. 8 - Piled tree trimmings about waist high in his front yard 9 - Hid dead deer carcass in the limbs until it was rotten. 10 - Cops were at his house about 4 days a week. 11 - Offered to take a dead raccoon to some kids down the street so they could make a hat out of it.
FWIW all this is schizo, not BPDF
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:19 pm to Geekboy
Yup. The sex was amazing but she could go from sugar and spice to screaming and throwing things in a hot minute. I never knew what would set her off.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:20 pm to LCA131
quote:
There are female posters here who are like this consistently.
Name names you passive aggressive little coward
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:25 pm to Geekboy
My MIL is. That bitch is fricking insane and everything is everyone else's fault. She has royally fricked her life up and blames everyone but herself.
One time shortly after my wife and I were married, I offered to pay off some of her debt and get her on her feet. I asked her to bring me some certain Bill's and I would go over them and pay them off to where she could save some money to get a better car and move to a better apartment. Well, she didn't speak to me or her own daughter for almost a year because I wouldn't just give her the cash for her to pay these debts off herself. Crazy bitch said she needed 12 grand to do this and I should just let her go to the bank with me to get it. I told her she was more crazy than I thought she was if she thought that was how it was going to go down.
About a year later, she wanted to take me up on the offer on my original terms. I told her we weren't in a position to help her out at the time. That didn't sit well with her either. She has talked shite to anyone who will listen about me since then.
One time shortly after my wife and I were married, I offered to pay off some of her debt and get her on her feet. I asked her to bring me some certain Bill's and I would go over them and pay them off to where she could save some money to get a better car and move to a better apartment. Well, she didn't speak to me or her own daughter for almost a year because I wouldn't just give her the cash for her to pay these debts off herself. Crazy bitch said she needed 12 grand to do this and I should just let her go to the bank with me to get it. I told her she was more crazy than I thought she was if she thought that was how it was going to go down.
About a year later, she wanted to take me up on the offer on my original terms. I told her we weren't in a position to help her out at the time. That didn't sit well with her either. She has talked shite to anyone who will listen about me since then.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:33 pm to IAmNERD
Yep. I could sit here and write a book about Borderline Personality Trait disorder. It is different than any other mental health illness.
You need to really sit down and read the symptoms and definitions of the mental health illnesses. There are some similarities in them - mainly, the manic episodes of anger.
My advice to anyone who has gotten into a romantic relationship with a Borderline - run. Block their number on your phone and pick up a slow jog right now.
Do not respond to email or any other form of communication. They will try to torture you for a period of time but don't worry, they already have their sights set on another victim.
The longer you hang around, the more torment and drama you are inviting into your life.
There is no cure for BDPD, as far as I know. Yes, it can be managed. But remember, you are managing CRAZY!
You need to really sit down and read the symptoms and definitions of the mental health illnesses. There are some similarities in them - mainly, the manic episodes of anger.
My advice to anyone who has gotten into a romantic relationship with a Borderline - run. Block their number on your phone and pick up a slow jog right now.
Do not respond to email or any other form of communication. They will try to torture you for a period of time but don't worry, they already have their sights set on another victim.
The longer you hang around, the more torment and drama you are inviting into your life.
There is no cure for BDPD, as far as I know. Yes, it can be managed. But remember, you are managing CRAZY!
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:35 pm to teke184
quote:
Pretty sure must of us aren’t in denial of it.
It sucks when dealing with someone who insists they are sane and everyone else is crazy.
The political talk board says hold my child pedophile fighting beer can.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 3:41 pm to Geekboy
As others have said, run.
What I ultimately got out of it was a hairline fracture in my forearm. That's when I finally decided it was time for me to go.
What I ultimately got out of it was a hairline fracture in my forearm. That's when I finally decided it was time for me to go.
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 3:42 pm
Posted on 12/18/18 at 6:55 am to Spaceman Spiff
Yeah. Idiot downvoters don’t have a clue.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 7:11 am to wheelz007
quote:
My advice to anyone who has gotten into a romantic relationship with a Borderline - run. Block their number on your phone and pick up a slow jog right now. Do not respond to email or any other form of communication. They will try to torture you for a period of time but don't worry, they already have their sights set on another victim.
100% this. Can't be said better.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 7:13 am to Geekboy
I'm just here to say I feel sorry for anyone with legit personality disorder. They have a much harder life than most of us. Also, their families suffer quite a bit too.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 7:59 am to Chuker
quote:
Also, their families suffer quite a bit too.
It's taken its toll on us. In and out of hospitals, treatments, fights, jail, etc, etc, etc. I keep waiting on the phone call telling us she's killed herself somehow.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 8:17 am to Chuker
quote:
They have a much harder life than most of us.
I'd argue they don't because they think it's normal life and any torment on them is self-inflicted even though they can't see it.
quote:
Also, their families suffer quite a bit too.
family members suffer the most if not all the suffering. Which, imo, have the harder life. Maybe I come off as bitter and still have a lot of resentment but I've dealt with for 40+ years and counting.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 8:20 am to Cdawg
quote:
I'd argue they don't
May be true. But the ones I've known (one) seemed like she was always pissed off. And I actually got along with her unlike other members of my family who didn't.
Posted on 12/18/18 at 8:31 am to Cdawg
quote:
I've dealt with for 40+ years and counting.
Same here bro.
My mom has mellowed out over the years. She's actually somewhat tolerable now. It's the daughter that's in bad shape now.
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