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re: Daughter’s alcoholism and mental illness.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:16 pm to BluegrassCardinal
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:16 pm to BluegrassCardinal
Not much you can do until she actually admits she has a problem. And that usually happens when they hit rock bottom. Alcoholism is a disease. And the more you push, the worse it will get. You and your wife have a tough road ahead. Wish you all the best and hope she gets help.
2
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:17 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
Four fricking liters a day? Holy sheeat.
It may sound like a lot, but that’s steady drinking over a 24 hour timeframe, bro. A liter every 6 hours.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:26 pm to thumperpait
Yep, I fear that. When I was younger, my dad fought alcoholism, it was his escape from the trauma he experienced in Vietnam.
Later, my sister suffered from alcohol abuse and bipolar. When I was 20 I caught her trying slash her wrists while she was in some drunk, manic state. Thirty years later I’m seeing my daughter suffer from the same illness.
I would do anything for my daughter, I’d go up on the Cross myself. It’s the worst pain to see your child suffer.
Later, my sister suffered from alcohol abuse and bipolar. When I was 20 I caught her trying slash her wrists while she was in some drunk, manic state. Thirty years later I’m seeing my daughter suffer from the same illness.
I would do anything for my daughter, I’d go up on the Cross myself. It’s the worst pain to see your child suffer.
This post was edited on 11/15/25 at 5:28 pm
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:28 pm to thumperpait
quote:
Not much you can do until she actually admits she has a problem
there is a small glimmer of hope, from what the OP said... he said the she said she wants help, just won't commit to anything long term... and at 19, thinking about the rest of your life, yeah, that's real "long term"...
IMO, the drugs and alcohol aren't the real problems... they are her "solutions" to her real problems.. what those are? dunno... that's something that she, possibly y'all, will have to figure out... typically, there's some sort of trauma, or event, or something, that the person then tries to deal with, in the best fashion they can think of for themselves... often, that's drugs and/or alcohol...
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:30 pm to BluegrassCardinal
My friend, I can not imagine the pain and frustration you’re dealing with. Force her to rehab, again and again again till it takes.
May the grace of God be you and your family .
May the grace of God be you and your family .
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:30 pm to WhoKnows
I agree. I’ve spent the last 2 days trying to open her up. It’s like trying to find the right key to the lock. In my ocd mind I think I’ll eventually find it. It’s agonizing
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:30 pm to BluegrassCardinal
quote:sorry to hear about all of this...sounds like she needs some tough love, unfortunately.
BluegrassCardinal
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:33 pm to Chicken
Thanks Chicken, it’s been a tough weekend.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:35 pm to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
I’ve spent the last 2 days trying to open her up
i understand that as a dad, you want to fix it... i'm a dad too, and yes, i'd do anything for my kids, especially with something as serious as this...
that being said, this is not your job, unless you are a therapist as well... it may even be you are part of her perceived "problem".. i'd leave the psychoanalysis in the hands of trained professionals... be there to support, and own up to shite if you have to, but think that you and only you can fix it, is a fallacy and likely could mean the difference between her getting help or not...
quote:
It’s agonizing
i think i speak for everyone here, we all are agonizing with you, bro...
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:36 pm to DomincDecoco
quote:
Force her to rehab
this is absolutely HORRIBLE advice and absolutely what you SHOULD NOT DO
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:37 pm to BluegrassCardinal
I have a buddy that runs some for-profit rehabs...I can put you in touch with his on-staff doctor that can give you advice...it will cost some money though to talk to him. 
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:40 pm to BluegrassCardinal
My son had similar issues. Drug court within our community is the only thing that saved him.
Hold on tight to your family. Grow closer to your faith.
Prayers for you, your daughter and family. Take care!
Hold on tight to your family. Grow closer to your faith.
Prayers for you, your daughter and family. Take care!
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:41 pm to BluegrassCardinal
Mary's Song.
Metairie.
It is your only shot.
And her's as well.
Metairie.
It is your only shot.
And her's as well.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:45 pm to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
my dad fought alcoholism, it was his escape from the trauma he experienced in Vietnam.
Same with my dad, then I fought it due to the traumas I dealt with in the fire service. Dad wasn't a mean drunk; he started after work until he passed out. He was funny for a while and then checked out and listened to music. Counseling is good advice along with rehab.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:45 pm to BluegrassCardinal
Sounds like a nightmare. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it isn’t everyone’s thing but my recommendation is to pray for her every day like your life depended on it.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:45 pm to BluegrassCardinal
All the posts for REHAB are wonderful. It might even work. Might being the important word here. The reality is much lower than 50%.
This is something I've lived. With the predictable result. My brutal advise is to give her one more chance, and when that fails to go on with your life without her. That might actually be the shock she needs. Or she's beyond hope which nobody wants to hear but is entirely possible.
quote:
I made it clear I’m not living my last 20-30 years like this. Wife and I are mid 50s and can’t support her forever.
This is something I've lived. With the predictable result. My brutal advise is to give her one more chance, and when that fails to go on with your life without her. That might actually be the shock she needs. Or she's beyond hope which nobody wants to hear but is entirely possible.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:49 pm to BluegrassCardinal
I had 3 cousins that became addicted due to the events around our area (see The Pharmacist on Netflix) with one of them dying from it and the other getting arrested on Live PD. Family tried to help but there were just too many enablers to compete with. My take from that situation is they needed a completely different environment away from their comfort zone and enablers. At his memorial service all of them were there acting like they were the greatest friends to them when they just watched the downward spiral happen as well as supplying them. Bottom line from my experience for you to digest: get them rehab as far away as you can. Once that settles in keep them away from familiar environments. Have them start over somewhere else where they have some over sight and support. I know it is not that easy but you have to make the bad habits hard to start over
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:49 pm to WhoKnows
quote:
this is absolutely HORRIBLE advice and absolutely what you SHOULD NOT DO
agreed
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:50 pm to Bernie Bierman
quote:
It may sound like a lot, but that’s steady drinking over a 24 hour timeframe
I presumed he wasn't staying awake 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So the presumption was that he was awake maybe 18 hours a day, and that's still a ton. I barely drink that much water/iced tea in a day. I haven't even witnessed enlisted guys doing that on a Saturday night, let alone every day. Good on him for quitting though.
Posted on 11/15/25 at 5:59 pm to BluegrassCardinal
Are you able to move? Gotta get her away from influencers.
Does she date? Keep herself up? The right guy could really change her ways. But if she looks and dresses like a bum, not gonna attract the right type.
Does she have any ambitions to be a vet or whatever. Tell her that her actions will destroy any dream she has.
Does she date? Keep herself up? The right guy could really change her ways. But if she looks and dresses like a bum, not gonna attract the right type.
Does she have any ambitions to be a vet or whatever. Tell her that her actions will destroy any dream she has.
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