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Message
re: Just got served divorce papers today
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:07 am to Spaceman Spiff
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:07 am to Spaceman Spiff
Wow. When I hit enter on this thread I was prepared for a typical shite storm of crap from the OT. Granted a few posters did but most of you are being pretty to very decent.
A few points after reading through most of the points:
1) I have absolutely no doubt the children are all mine. I do not need to worry about paternity testing.
2) It has been about 36 hours and it still hurts. Some of the kids now know (the older one) and as you can imagine it has been very hard news for them to hear. My oldest (23) has said he may never talk to his mother again. I have tried to tell him that is not the attitude to have. He is upset because she left home mid-May to care for her sick mother which ends up looking like a ruse.
3) I am still trying to find the right attorney here in Houston, should have that worked out today. These people are expensive!
4) I agree with the posters who say to humble myself and try to save my marriage and even sitting here right now would do anything to do so. 23 years is a lot of time and growth and with our children I still can't imagine what life will be like "on the other side".
5) For those saying crude things about dating, sex, etc. That is not where I am headed or who I am. I will most likely live the rest of my life celibate and alone except when my kids are with me. I have never wanted or do I see wanting another person not her in my life.
6) For those with supportive comments, thank you!
7) For those of the stripe, please pray for a change of heart in all involved and especially for our children. They do not deserve any of what they are and are about to go through.
8) For those who wonder if I am 100% upfront all I can say is I tried to be. I can't o any more than that.
God Bless
A few points after reading through most of the points:
1) I have absolutely no doubt the children are all mine. I do not need to worry about paternity testing.
2) It has been about 36 hours and it still hurts. Some of the kids now know (the older one) and as you can imagine it has been very hard news for them to hear. My oldest (23) has said he may never talk to his mother again. I have tried to tell him that is not the attitude to have. He is upset because she left home mid-May to care for her sick mother which ends up looking like a ruse.
3) I am still trying to find the right attorney here in Houston, should have that worked out today. These people are expensive!
4) I agree with the posters who say to humble myself and try to save my marriage and even sitting here right now would do anything to do so. 23 years is a lot of time and growth and with our children I still can't imagine what life will be like "on the other side".
5) For those saying crude things about dating, sex, etc. That is not where I am headed or who I am. I will most likely live the rest of my life celibate and alone except when my kids are with me. I have never wanted or do I see wanting another person not her in my life.
6) For those with supportive comments, thank you!
7) For those of the stripe, please pray for a change of heart in all involved and especially for our children. They do not deserve any of what they are and are about to go through.
8) For those who wonder if I am 100% upfront all I can say is I tried to be. I can't o any more than that.
God Bless
14
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:20 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Oh dear my heart hurts for you and your kids. Been married 23+ years myself and can't imagine this happening.
You've been in charge of home/kids since your wife went to "take care of her mother"? I swear this sounds like a midlife crisis ... I'm female and have had my own issues at times but thank goodness no real crisis.
Hang tough and look out for you and your children.
You've been in charge of home/kids since your wife went to "take care of her mother"? I swear this sounds like a midlife crisis ... I'm female and have had my own issues at times but thank goodness no real crisis.
Hang tough and look out for you and your children.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:27 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
3) I am still trying to find the right attorney here in Houston, should have that worked out today. These people are expensive!
Just wait! They're only about half the cost of the whole adventure. Throw in time you will have to take off work and having to start out buying half the stuff both of you owned. Oh, and don't think that the first "retainage" will cover anywhere near all the costs.
Take a little advice from someone who's been there. Don't play nice. Put on your a-hole hat. Trust me, she will have hers.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:29 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
You and arcalades need to swap emails. Best of luck 
This post was edited on 7/15/15 at 8:00 am
Posted on 7/15/15 at 7:58 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
It has been about 36 hours and it still hurts.
Man, it has been since the middle of March and it still hurts. Its a freaking roller coaster - some days seem better and others are crazy. Last night was odd to say the best. Good luck. I hate to be a negative, but it doesn't get any better, especially when the one person who you thought would never stoop so low actually would and did. Good luck again.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:08 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Try Dorothy Butler Law firm. Dorothy is a good friend of mine from Tiger Band. She is good people and she hires good people. I believe her base is in Dripping Springs, TX.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:18 am to Spaceman Spiff
This post was edited on 9/21/15 at 9:01 am
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:21 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
I am still trying to find the right attorney here in Houston,
Try Brian J. McNamara (McNamara Law Office, PLLC) in Kingwood. Believe he has an office downtown (The Lyric Center, 9th floor) Specializes in family law.
Remember this....keep cool. I know it's hard. VERY IMPORTANT! Stop posting on this forum about anything related to your separation and pending divorce. Let her hang herself. If she's been dancing around, the truth will come out. Get ready to fight for custody of your kids. Most likely it will get nasty....very nasty, and very expensive. You want a favorable resolution? Expect to fork up at least $100k (minimum) depending upon how much she wants to fight you.
Don't expect any sympathy in the family courts in Houston either. Remember this, Texas is a no-fault divorce state. All those folks want, is for the parties to come to a mutual agreement. The fact that she may (or may not)have jilted you plays no part in the judges ruling. Hard world out there. Hunker down AND don't cut her any slack.
You Catholic? Go to Church and Pray, and take your kids with you.
You will get through this. Trust me.
Good luck!
This post was edited on 7/15/15 at 10:45 am
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:24 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Keep your head up!
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:27 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Good luck brother! You have a great attitude about all of this.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:32 am to volnavy
quote:
volnavy
How can I contact you?
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:35 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:
It hurts now because it's all you've known for a long arse time. It gets better brotha. I hope you weren't serious about the celibate thing.
It's all I known for 9 years of marriage plus the 2 of dating. Man this sucks big time.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:38 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Thanks for the update and keep your head up and options open as far as getting this worked out. You don't want to have regrets down the road that you didn't try hard enough to make it work. Saying a prayer for you and your family.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:52 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
it is super hard at first, and that hard part can last several years, but it gets better. Eventually you will wonder why you endured it for so long, although it sounds like it wasn't that bad. good luck to you.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:54 am to Spaceman Spiff
It definitely gets better, fellas.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:54 am to marcnbc
First things first, let's see a picture of this nasty whore.
(This name calling might not seem appropriate now, but after your finished with your divorce preceding I'm sure you will find it appropriate)
(This name calling might not seem appropriate now, but after your finished with your divorce preceding I'm sure you will find it appropriate)
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:56 am to meauxjeaux2
Pics? Have you taught her to fix generators yet?
Posted on 7/15/15 at 8:59 am to Tiger Ryno
(no message)
This post was edited on 9/21/15 at 9:02 am
Posted on 7/15/15 at 9:02 am to Matrixman
Perhaps she started seeing a doctor around where her mom lives. Thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Doctor is willing to pay her divorce/custody legal fees. This really sucks and I will pray for all of you.
Posted on 7/15/15 at 9:03 am to Mung
quote:
it is super hard at first, and that hard part can last several years, but it gets better. Eventually you will wonder why you endured it for so long, although it sounds like it wasn't that bad. good luck to you.
I only hope that it can. In my situation, I was blindsided. Never saw it coming. Never. We had problems, but I always thought they were resolved. We never fought. Never disrespected, etc. I thought that things were fine. We had our first child a year into the marriage and never really got to develop in that form. We moved from base to base with no family support to help with the kids.
My wife has emotional issues stemming from childhood that are having a definite impact in our marriage. The problem is, that I didn't find out about most of these issues until after she mentioned divorce. Her childhood was absolutely horrible - and I think that played a part into a lot of other things, including the emotional affair.
I am not sure it will ever get better. For over 10 years she was the one. It is just so damn hard to think that this would happen. When we were dating - and when married - she was adamantly against adultery (in any form) - for example, she disowned a friend who had an affair - her morality was never in question. And that is what is so shocking about the emotional affair. That hurt as much as her wanting a divorce.
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