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Started By
Message
re: Kids struggling with divorce
Posted on 5/9/22 at 7:47 am to LSUfan4444
Posted on 5/9/22 at 7:47 am to LSUfan4444
quote:
Seek advice from those who are the kids of divorced parents.
This. My wife is 35 and the scars of her parents' divorce still surface regularly. She has real PTSD from it. They divorced when she was about 5 or 6.
And yes it happened because MIL was a whore.
1
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:02 am to cannibaspleasse
Counselling. Take the high road. Don't be petty. I've never married, don't have kids, and was raised by wonderful parents. No divorces in extended family all the way out to 3rd cousins. So I don't really have that experience. Best of luck I'll say quick prayer for all y'all.
Btw Cheese dip brings everyone together.
Btw Cheese dip brings everyone together.
This post was edited on 5/9/22 at 8:03 am
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:02 am to cannibaspleasse
quote:
their whore mother
Pics or Facebook or phone number or somethin?
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:06 am to BabyTac
quote:
Best thing to do is get out of town. Start over. The past is the past.
This is the worst advice in here. Those kids deserve a father. A hell of a lot that is wrong with the culture in this country today is this mentality. He would be a POS if he “got out of town” and left those kids. So if you are giving him advice to be a pos… that makes you??
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:08 am to cannibaspleasse
quote:
Kids struggling with divorce
quote:
kids 8 and 6 are acting out
No way this is shocking news to your right?
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:10 am to LSUfan4444
My parents divorced when I was 13. My brother was 8 at the time, and my sister was 11, and it definitely affected them more than it affected me, especially my brother. That age group definitely seems to be affected more than teens, I guess cause of the lack of understanding at 6-12 age group. We all 3 went to counseling, I hated it, but I think it did help my younger siblings. I had to be the tough guy, who didn’t show emotion, and had to act like nothing was bothering me. I kept everything to myself, and didn’t want to tell anyone anything. That’s not a good way to deal with divorce though. Bring your kids to counseling.
Don’t lie to them, and don’t try to be manipulative either.
Definitely don’t spoil them. Yes it’s ok to treat them to something more often than you would before, but a lot of parents get guilt tripped into spending so much money on their kids, that it’ll turn them into lazy nobody’s when they get older.
Definitely stop calling their mother a whore, don’t talk about it on message boards, especially if you live in South LA. Someone is bound to know you, or your ex, and if someone knows your ex, and sees that you post on here, could turn out bad. Divorces bring out the worst in people, and some ex spouses are absolutely cruel, and don’t care about their kids relationship with the other spouse. Just be there for your kids, and don’t be quick to get mad at them for getting into trouble at school.
I will say though, the last few years, I’ve thought a lot about that divorce, and it kind of makes me angry now. So there will be years down the road, where maybe they’ll just randomly get mad at something from the divorce, and you’ll have to be ready for that.
Hate you’re going through this, and hope everything works out for you. I hate divorces, and going through one as a kid is a terrible experience. It’s all situational though, as to how the kids are going to be affected by the divorce.
Don’t lie to them, and don’t try to be manipulative either.
Definitely don’t spoil them. Yes it’s ok to treat them to something more often than you would before, but a lot of parents get guilt tripped into spending so much money on their kids, that it’ll turn them into lazy nobody’s when they get older.
Definitely stop calling their mother a whore, don’t talk about it on message boards, especially if you live in South LA. Someone is bound to know you, or your ex, and if someone knows your ex, and sees that you post on here, could turn out bad. Divorces bring out the worst in people, and some ex spouses are absolutely cruel, and don’t care about their kids relationship with the other spouse. Just be there for your kids, and don’t be quick to get mad at them for getting into trouble at school.
I will say though, the last few years, I’ve thought a lot about that divorce, and it kind of makes me angry now. So there will be years down the road, where maybe they’ll just randomly get mad at something from the divorce, and you’ll have to be ready for that.
Hate you’re going through this, and hope everything works out for you. I hate divorces, and going through one as a kid is a terrible experience. It’s all situational though, as to how the kids are going to be affected by the divorce.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:16 am to sta4ever
Thread hijack:
I get that and except for a whore wife (or husband ) and abuse…..what about that couple who are good people but just are constantly fighting - isn’t that a bad environment for a healthy kid and wouldn’t divorce be better?
quote:
Hate you’re going through this, and hope everything works out for you. I hate divorces, and going through one as a kid is a terrible experience. It’s all situational though, as to how the kids are going to be affected by the divorce.
I get that and except for a whore wife (or husband ) and abuse…..what about that couple who are good people but just are constantly fighting - isn’t that a bad environment for a healthy kid and wouldn’t divorce be better?
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:18 am to cannibaspleasse
quote:
cannibaspleasse
quote:
toxic marriage
quote:
The kids 8 and 6 are acting out at school
quote:
whore mother
Wow.
A lot to unpack there.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:20 am to LSUcajun77
quote:
Long story, but Dad took out my mom leaving him on us.
Your dad killed your mom?
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:21 am to MMauler
quote:
Step 1: Don't ever say anything bad about their mother in front of them. Let them see it for themselves.
this
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:22 am to sta4ever
quote:
My parents divorced when I was 13. My brother was 8 at the time, and my sister was 11, and it definitely affected them more than it affected me, especially my brother. That age group definitely seems to be affected more than teens, I guess cause of the lack of understanding at 6-12 age group. We all 3 went to counseling, I hated it, but I think it did help my younger siblings. I had to be the tough guy, who didn’t show emotion, and had to act like nothing was bothering me. I kept everything to myself, and didn’t want to tell anyone anything. That’s not a good way to deal with divorce though. Bring your kids to counseling.
My parents divorced when we were 8, 10 & 12 (I was 10). They'll eventually adapt and adjust but it will be rough on them for awhile.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:24 am to madmaxvol
quote:That sounds absoutely horrifying.
I've seen some success with rotating schedule like this (after school exchange):
Mom - Every Monday, Tuesday
Dad - Every Wednesday, Thursday
Rotate every other Friday, Saturday, Sunday
So one week they are with their Mother after school on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. They go to the Dad's Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, Saturday and Sunday...
For the young folks reading this thread, make better decisions about who you are marrying/fricking. Don't make your future children go through this shite.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:25 am to DevilDagNS
quote:
This. My wife is 35 and the scars of her parents' divorce still surface regularly. She has real PTSD from it. They divorced when she was about 5 or 6.
I’m in my 40s and my wife convinced me to see a therapist in my late 30s for a few issues that would pop up. It all comes from crap my parents threw at my brother and I when we were kids. It has helped immensely and I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if my parents had sent us to a therapist as kids.
I will say that in my experience, a therapist is like a girlfriend, see a few until you like one enough to see seriously. Some of them are pretty terrible. Im not sure how you work through that with a child, but don’t just pick one out of a phone book and quit if it doesn’t work.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:28 am to cannibaspleasse
When i was 5 yrs old and my parents were going thru a divorce, they took me to see a new movie called ‘Kramer vs Kramer’.. i was the same age as the kid in the movie, so i guess they thought it would help.. I did get to see my first naked lady in that movie, so that was cool i guess .
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:32 am to cannibaspleasse
Quit smoking dope there, puff the magic dragon.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:37 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
I get that and except for a whore wife (or husband ) and abuse…..what about that couple who are good people but just are constantly fighting - isn’t that a bad environment for a healthy kid and wouldn’t divorce be better?
Chances are, the kids won’t be fricked up as bad, where as if the divorce is over lots of cheating and things like that, then they could be fricked up more from it, especially down the road. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m not advocating for people to not get divorced if they have their issues. Sorry, I probably didn’t explain things clear enough. I need some more coffee.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:39 am to cannibaspleasse
Try to get 50/50 custody and be the best damn daddy you can be when with them. Make up for the time you are gonna lose.
It’s hard. Hard hard. Many nights alone and missing them. Many calls where they miss you and don’t understand. It’s best just to let them know you love them and nothing will ever change that. Eventually they will figure out why.
Don’t talk bad about their mother in front of them, and try not to argue and fight with her. Best you can hope for is a civil relationship where you can work together. Getting along with your ex is a blessing.
Just do the best you can. Living 50/50, it ain’t that bad.
(Wrote a song on just this subject, it’s a tearjerker)
Fill your time, sitting there brooding won’t help anything.
It’s hard. Hard hard. Many nights alone and missing them. Many calls where they miss you and don’t understand. It’s best just to let them know you love them and nothing will ever change that. Eventually they will figure out why.
Don’t talk bad about their mother in front of them, and try not to argue and fight with her. Best you can hope for is a civil relationship where you can work together. Getting along with your ex is a blessing.
Just do the best you can. Living 50/50, it ain’t that bad.
(Wrote a song on just this subject, it’s a tearjerker)
Fill your time, sitting there brooding won’t help anything.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:40 am to LT
Maybe he is a producer and helps cancer patients get hungry so they can eat properly and recover from chemo. This causes his former wife to have confidence problems and she acts out by whoring around.
Thought I would do some hypotheticals cause they are fun.
Thought I would do some hypotheticals cause they are fun.
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:42 am to cannibaspleasse
According to the OT divorce has no impact on kids
Posted on 5/9/22 at 8:42 am to cannibaspleasse
Divorce is horrible on kids and lasts a lifetime.
Read a book I think the title is “The Unexpected legacy of Divorce”. It shows how years later the children of divorce are still impacted.
Read a book I think the title is “The Unexpected legacy of Divorce”. It shows how years later the children of divorce are still impacted.
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