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Message
re: Possible Tinder Rape...in BR
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:24 pm to Winkface
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:24 pm to Winkface
quote:
members of the public who criticize the victim’s actions in discussions about instances of rape are not preventing rape, despite their best intentions. They are actively perpetuating rape. When we fail to support survivors and instead shame them for the non-violent behaviors they engage in (i.e., allowing someone into their home, drinking alcohol, etc.), we tell offenders that their violent, antisocial behavior (i.e., raping another human) is acceptable in those instances.
The only morally justified response to an instance of rape is to support the survivor and hold the offender(s) accountable. Individuals can support survivors by being there for them, having empathy for them, and offering public and private support throughout the reporting process.
If someone is lying, you deal with that later. Shaming them when they're reporting it only discourages women from reporting rapes that might be perceived as "their fault".
This post was edited on 7/30/14 at 12:25 pm
6
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:27 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
members of the public who criticize the victim’s actions in discussions about instances of rape are not preventing rape, despite their best intentions. They are actively perpetuating rape.
bullshite.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:28 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
If someone is lying, you deal with that later.
honest question: do you think the names of those who have lied about rape allegations should be published?
quote:
and instead shame them for the non-violent behaviors they engage in (i.e., allowing someone into their home, drinking alcohol, etc.)
this only came up in the vast minority of comments, and even then, i think all but 2 said if her story was truthful, it was rape
the majority of the discussion that i've been part of is the sticky situation presented and how false rape accusations exist AND are a serious threat for sexually active males (especially those who engage in sex after drinking).
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:29 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
They are actively perpetuating rape.
bullshite.
Raping people is actively perpetuating rape.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:32 pm to CptBengal
quote:
Raping people is actively perpetuating rape.
exactly
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:32 pm to CptBengal
quote:
Raping people is actively perpetuating rape.
gotta agree with you on this one.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:35 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
Shaming them when they're reporting it only discourages women from reporting rapes that might be perceived as "their fault".
If I was raped i wouldn't give a frick what anyone else thought...i would want the rapist put away
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:39 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
The only morally justified response to an instance of rape is to support the survivor and hold the offender(s) accountable. Individuals can support survivors by being there for them, having empathy for them, and offering public and private support throughout the reporting process.
This assumes that all instances of accused rape are, in fact, rape. There is no one here that would defend a rapist and be morally justified.
These statements reek of "accuse now, and if you're wrong then oh well." In fact, they seem to implicate it's the moral thing to do.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:41 pm to Topwater Trout
quote:
Shaming them when they're reporting it
What is your definition of shaming?
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:42 pm to LesMiles BFF
quote:
This assumes that all instances of accused rape are, in fact, rape.
quote:
These statements reek of "accuse now, and if you're wrong then oh well." In fact, they seem to implicate it's the moral thing to do.
let's go back a page to this post:
quote:
look at this disgusting Slate article about the Hofstra false rape case
quote:
n the Hofstra case, the false charges unraveled in less than 72 hours. A week ago, an 18-year-old student told police she'd been gang raped in a bathroom on campus by five men she'd met at a party the police had broken up. The details were tabloid lurid: The student said she'd been tricked into a public men's room after one of the men stole her cell phone and then roped it to a toilet stall. By Wednesday, she'd admitted the sex was consensual. Her nonassailants were released after two nights in jail. She was suspended from school.
what is her name? we don't even know because they refuse to report the name of a woman who admitted to lying about rape
now look at this last paragraph
quote:
Let's agree that something disturbing happened to that 18-year-old woman at Hofstra. Something she feels awful about. Any good, right-thinking feminist, and any good girlfriend, would encourage her to talk to a counselor about her story. The problem is that by going to the police and then recanting, she fit into a new story that backfires on her and on feminism in an ugly way. She becomes the false accuser, and the boys, like the Duke boys, become the victims. In these moments of recantation, all we can talk about is how wrong she was. And then we lose the conversation that happens at a level beneath the law: about how these late-night moments in a random bathroom that everyone regrets can stop before they start. I'm not sure how you do that. But I wish this was where we'd go, now that we know that whatever happened to this girl, it wasn't the legal definition of rape.
the author decries that fact that the actual victims (who spent 2 days in jail and had THEIR names all over the news) are, in fact, victims. the entire argument presupposes that something "disturbing" happened, even though the girl admitted she consented to it. further, the last sentence tries to turn this into a "possible rape, just not against the law" argument
if we can't even have an honest discussion about these scenarios, lest we get accused of being victim atackers, rape enablers, rapists in hiding, creepers, or whatever other negative term is used by the PC crowd to silence any discussion, then that's just fricked up
this is a very strong trick of the liberal-progressive movement. if you don't agree with whatever side they're taking, you are insulted and attacked (ironically, for not being open-minded enough...to parrot their ideas) to the point of being ostracized as a lunatic. you are not allowed to even discuss the issues or you risk these labels
This post was edited on 7/30/14 at 12:45 pm
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:43 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
members of the public who criticize the victim’s actions in discussions about instances of rape are not preventing rape, despite their best intentions. They are actively perpetuating rape
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:44 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
, now that we know that whatever happened to this girl, it wasn't the legal definition of rape.
that's disgusting.
the count wasn't raped, don't act like it just wasn't the "legal definition" of rape.
fricking scum of the earth wrote that article.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:46 pm to TH03
i don't see how any level-headed person can read that article and say, "yeah i have no reason why guys would be worried about this"
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:47 pm to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:48 pm to SlowFlowPro
I'm not reading this whole thread, did the girl lie?
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:48 pm to TH03
oh wow
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:49 pm to Topwater Trout
think
As someone who went through a rape last October, you may think this, but you would be surprised how you are treated. Depending on the circumstances, it is up to the victim to decide what is best for them. I have always been on the side of the argument that too many people cry rape after having a sexual regret. This makes it difficult for the people who are truly raped. In my case, it was a stranger and I was in a "safe" environment. Each situation is different, and after going to the hospital, and having male staff be very condescending, I didn't feel it was worth it. I wanted to just forget it. Had the encounter been violent, I may have felt differently. I always thought I would fight back. Instead I regressed and just waited for it to be over. I understand not reporting, and maybe I was wrong, but I did what was right for me.
quote:
If I was raped i wouldn't give a frick what anyone else thought...i would want the rapist put away
As someone who went through a rape last October, you may think this, but you would be surprised how you are treated. Depending on the circumstances, it is up to the victim to decide what is best for them. I have always been on the side of the argument that too many people cry rape after having a sexual regret. This makes it difficult for the people who are truly raped. In my case, it was a stranger and I was in a "safe" environment. Each situation is different, and after going to the hospital, and having male staff be very condescending, I didn't feel it was worth it. I wanted to just forget it. Had the encounter been violent, I may have felt differently. I always thought I would fight back. Instead I regressed and just waited for it to be over. I understand not reporting, and maybe I was wrong, but I did what was right for me.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:49 pm to SlowFlowPro
That link to the Duke lacrosse case brings back memories. There's a special place in hell for Mike Nifong.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:50 pm to Thib-a-doe Tiger
quote:
did the girl lie?
nobody has any ideas, and that really isn't a real issue in terms of this thread's discussion
the consensus is that the guy accused of doing this has an iffy past, per posts reported to being people who know him. also it's pretty much universally agreed if she's telling the truth, she was raped and he should go to jail for a long time.
the vast majority of this thread involves discussing the risks of sex, unreported rapes, false rape claims, and victim shaming
Posted on 7/30/14 at 12:50 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:I don't think she's doing this at all.
the author decries that fact that the actual victims (who spent 2 days in jail and had THEIR names all over the news) are, in fact, victims.
quote:disturbing in that it was gross sex in a bathroom.
the entire argument presupposes that something "disturbing" happened
quote:again, that's not how I read it. She's admitting that it wasn't rape.
further, the last sentence tries to turn this into a "possible rape, just not against the law" argument
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