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re: The Concept of Love?
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:29 pm to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:29 pm to CoastalSaint
quote:
How many women are there that are truly independent though? And if we're both that independent how would it work?
Cheer up. Typically the older women get the more independent they become. People realize they really need their own lives to be happy and can’t depend on other people for happiness. Relationships are great but you have to be happy with yourself first.
I’m only attracted to independent woman and it works well with two independent people.
1
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:29 pm to Tiger in Gatorland
Just relax on love and have some meaningless sex.
Love may find a way.
Love may find a way.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:30 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
Are you lonely and ready for companionship?
If so, try to be a better companion.
If not, stay single and date casually.
Just know that part of living is building/planning for the future. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some of the now in order to get a better life in the future.
Picture yourself older. Are you okay with being alone in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s? No family. No passing on your traditions?
I understand what you mean and yes I am truly trying to make myself a better companion. You are right that the idea of me being alone when I get older and after my parents have passed does worry me.
The whole kids and passing down my genes/blood thing has never really concerned me. I don't plan on having kids and in fact have scheduled a vasectomy (I've been considering it for years now and finally decided to just do it and get it over with) in October.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:34 pm to CoastalSaint
quote:
I don't plan on having kids and in fact have scheduled a vasectomy (I've been considering it for years now and finally decided to just do it and get it over with) in October.
This seems like a drastic decision. I’m sure you’ve thought it through, but be extremely sure. You could meet your dream woman next year, and she’s 30 and wants to have a child. It’s hard to be sure your feelings won’t change with the right person.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:35 pm to TigerBR1111
quote:
Cheer up. Typically the older women get the more independent they become. People realize they really need their own lives to be happy and can’t depend on other people for happiness. Relationships are great but you have to be happy with yourself first.
I’m only attracted to independent woman and it works well with two independent people.
And that's probably another problem I have. I am 35 but I am still attracted to youth. I'm not saying I want to date some college girl but I mostly find myself attracted to women in their mid and late 20s, maybe 30 or 31. I'm not completely against dating a woman older than me but I'm just typically more attracted to women a few years younger than me. I know it's probably shallow in some ways.
In many ways I've never truly had that true innocent love that most people have had in their lives and I would love to experience that at least once in my life. That's the problem I've had with dating women in their 30s, there's not as much excitement or as much living in the moment. Many women are attached to their routines and I find there to be a sense of practicality about love. Sadly practicality might be good for women who have had their fun and are ready to settle down but where was my fun? I would like to have some of that carefree love before settling down.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:37 pm to halleburton
What are your hobbies.I dated a lot until I got 25,then I got hooked on fishing.I was really kinda tired of the dating scene and actually didn’t date that much because it interfered with my fishing time.Me and couple guys were talking fishing one day and my now-wife said something about she would love to go fishing sometime,her grandfather used to take her etc.So I tell her I would take her I did,taught her how to bass fish and she caught on pretty fast.After probably 25 trips things developed from there.Ended up getting married when I was 30.I think it helps to find someone that shares your interests.
It’s not like we’re joined at the hips,she like gardening and flower beds.I don’t care for it so she does her gardening stuff and I’ll do other things I want.
It’s not like we’re joined at the hips,she like gardening and flower beds.I don’t care for it so she does her gardening stuff and I’ll do other things I want.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:38 pm to Evil Little Thing
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:39 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
This seems like a drastic decision. I’m sure you’ve thought it through, but be extremely sure. You could meet your dream woman next year, and she’s 30 and wants to have a child. It’s hard to be sure your feelings won’t change with the right person.
You are right and it's a decision that I've struggled with for years. The thing is it's not just a personal decision. My genes are fairly faulty, even at 35 I've suffered from asthma, high blood pressure (hereditary) and off and on hemorrhoids. My family also has a history of diabetes that I have to really watch out for as well.
Simply put, I don't think I'd want to pass on my genes to the next generation. My genes probably do need to die with me.
I figure if I did change my mind about kids I could also try for the reversal surgery or we could always go the adoption route as well.
This post was edited on 9/19/19 at 9:41 pm
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:44 pm to LSUA 75
quote:
What are your hobbies.I dated a lot until I got 25,then I got hooked on fishing.I was really kinda tired of the dating scene and actually didn’t date that much because it interfered with my fishing time.Me and couple guys were talking fishing one day and my now-wife said something about she would love to go fishing sometime,her grandfather used to take her etc.So I tell her I would take her I did,taught her how to bass fish and she caught on pretty fast.After probably 25 trips things developed from there.Ended up getting married when I was 30.I think it helps to find someone that shares your interests.
It’s not like we’re joined at the hips,she like gardening and flower beds.I don’t care for it so she does her gardening stuff and I’ll do other things I want.
In terms of hobbies I enjoy playing tennis though I've never really met any women my age or younger playing, seems like there are a lot of older women who play.
Other than tennis I enjoy being outdoors in general, especially hiking and kayaking. I also enjoy reading, especially sci-fi and fantasy novels. I love traveling when I can as well.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 10:16 pm to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/19/19 at 10:20 pm to CoastalSaint
quote:
I'll find a woman I find attractive and somewhat like, start talking to them and maybe (which is probably foolish) start to build an image of that woman. Then when it actually gets to the date that image is completely wrong.
Letting go of expectations is one of the hardest things in life. Have to let someone have the freedom to be who they are, not who we want them to be. It's not easy.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 11:26 pm to CoastalSaint
quote:
Is it maybe to the point where I love the idea of love more than actually loving someone? Or that I've become so used to being single and largely able to do anything I want that subconsciously it's hard for me to truly want a woman knowing that I would give some of that freedom up? I'm truly trying to figure out what's wrong with me in terms of dating.
Love is a siren song. It draws you in with elicitations that promise neverending bliss and passion. That’s the Eros. That heady rush of chemicals designed to get us to bump uglies, to satisfy the biological imperative. But that fades. It’s a waning moon. And when it passes, there’s either nothing, or something wholly different.
That first aspect of love is a seed that can either take roots or wither on the vine. It loses its glammer in the day to day. Then, what takes over is the want to continue to tend the tree of love. And it isn’t easy. Because life tends to get in the way. It becomes a daily decision. To stay the course. To weather the storms. It’s an uphill battle, but you don’t choose who you love, really. You may choose to keep on the journey, but the why is sometimes a mystery, because it is seldom the way we imagine it.
It’s a cruel mistress
Posted on 9/20/19 at 3:26 am to CoastalSaint
I’m with ya CS. I had my first serious gf last year after plenty of dating. Both of us age 32. I couldn’t keep up with my jobs, my house, and her to make it all work. She wanted more time together; I was fine with our time spent. Eventually it just felt like we were together because of proximity and our ages (biological clock and all). The thing that people don’t talk about, is that many people end up single or at least non-married for a lifetime. My great aunt never married and didn’t have even a known boyfriend her whole life. And I think that’s fine. I think it’s more about finding meaningful relationships, through friendships or groups, or whomever, that last a lifetime. Love is more abstract. It’s harder to grasp and it hits in waves. You can’t necessarily hang on to it forever. Some people do, and that’s great for them, but it shouldn’t become a burden on your life. So, drink a beer, watch a game, and enjoy the life you have.
Posted on 9/20/19 at 7:47 am to CoastalSaint
You’re having a vasectomy while single with no kids but trying to start dating? Seems pretty weird
Posted on 9/20/19 at 8:45 am to CoastalSaint
quote:
I'm truly trying to figure out what's wrong with me in terms of dating.
and I'm truly trying to figure out whether you are another BooKrewe alter.
Posted on 9/20/19 at 8:48 am to CoastalSaint
quote:
More often than not I have found myself being bored with these women or just not being able to see myself actually being this woman. Or maybe I'm somewhat interested but have a hard time seeing this woman actually fitting into my life or me fitting into hers.
That’s all very normal fwiw.
Posted on 9/20/19 at 8:51 am to CoastalSaint
Does TD have bots? I thought the whole single & getting a vasectomy & being into tennis & kayaking sounded familiar. Weird troll.
LINK
LINK
Posted on 9/20/19 at 9:36 am to Evil Little Thing
Yeah the weird online dating threads are almost becoming a regular thing with most sounding like troll threads
Posted on 9/20/19 at 9:43 am to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/20/19 at 9:53 am to Pelican fan99
quote:
Yeah the weird online dating threads are almost becoming a regular thing with most sounding like troll threads
This one was intriguing at least until he went into the bad genes that needed to die off because of hemorrhoids so he's getting a vasectomy angle.
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