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Posted on 5/27/23 at 8:52 am to noon0707
quote:
Don’t get married fellas. To quote a genius, “ the juice ain’t worth the squeeze no mo” and he is 100% correct
Choose wisely.
If you do, you don't even have to squeeze to get the juice.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:01 am to WB Davis
You find another man's shirt on the bedroom floor.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:06 am to WB Davis
She says Idris Elba should be the next Bond
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:10 am to Richard Grayson
Jesus Christ dude you make me want to go hug my husband 
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:18 am to WB Davis
When she starts losing weight
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:19 am to SkintBack
quote:
When she tells you she wants to adopt a Guatemalan baby.
An 18 year old named Gustavo?
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:25 am to WB Davis
quote:
You're Probably Headed for a Divorce When...
you've had a vasectomy but your wife continues to take birth control pills.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:28 am to Richard Grayson
Take her fishing, and smile inside when she’s chewing your arse wondering how you’ll catch fish with duct tape, an area rug and a 20’ piece of logging chain.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 9:50 am to WB Davis
quote:
You're Probably Headed for a Divorce When...
You find socks that arent yours.
you come home early from deployment.
She tells you goodnight aound 10pm when youre on nightshift then she's on messenger till 2am.
she wants add ons / weight loss surgery.
joint social media accounts.
she posts pics online of her at events with you but youre not in the pics.
She jumps everytime you get wihin arms reach of her phone.
She starts having headaches.
She doesnt initiate physical contact anymore.
She starts openly joking about you splitting up over trivial bs.
She's gets aggravated by anything you do.
She gets a wax before a "Girls trip"
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:00 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
When she fricks your boss.
Damn
Yeah, that would suck.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:07 am to WB Davis
When you get married
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:17 am to sleepytime
quote:Had two boats for a long while and never got near a divorce.
When you own more than one boat. For each boat you have, the probability of divorce goes up exponentially.
Married to the same lucky woman almost 40 years.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:22 am to dbuchanon
quote:
She jumps everytime you get wihin arms reach of her phone.
friend of mine was looking for a particular photo on his wife's phone and found an aftermarket calculator app on the homescreen he thought was weird because the standard calculator is fine for most things. After a little checking it turns out this app is a hidden text messaging app that looks/acts like a calc until you enter a certain numeric password. He waited until she was in the shower and uninstalled it, nothing else. Later that day she was ranting and raving about how her phone was having problems severely pissed off.
Yeah they're divorced now
This post was edited on 5/27/23 at 10:28 am
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:38 am to Don Quixote
This post was edited on 5/27/23 at 10:40 am
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:39 am to Don Quixote
If she has her phone face down when youre home.
Start packing
Start packing
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:39 am to WB Davis
quote:
What else you got?
The wife ask you for fake tits followed by a convertible Mustang GT
Posted on 5/27/23 at 10:56 am to SingleMalt1973
If she wont go with you to the same club her and her friends go to.
If she refers to someone in a story as "a friend" its a fkn dude. Women will tell you every chick by name they went shopping with but then it becomes "I was with a friend" you need to prepare yourself.
If she'll argue with you over a guy friend who's "like a brother" to her. Throughout the history of man, these guys are never overweight losers.
If she refers to someone in a story as "a friend" its a fkn dude. Women will tell you every chick by name they went shopping with but then it becomes "I was with a friend" you need to prepare yourself.
If she'll argue with you over a guy friend who's "like a brother" to her. Throughout the history of man, these guys are never overweight losers.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 11:07 am to dbuchanon
quote:Minister friend who counsels lots of couples said that if a husband or wife has a buddy of the opposite sex, that buddy should be pals with, and hang out with, both husband and wife.
If she'll argue with you over a guy friend who's "like a brother" to her. Throughout the history of man, these guys are never overweight losers.
Otherwise you're headed for trouble.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 11:09 am to dbuchanon
When you find out she’s a man
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