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Scientists Warn That Within 6 Months Humanity Will Run Out Of Things To Call Racist
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:00 am
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:00 am
ATLANTA, GA—Calling brand new things racist—that no one would ever have thought could be racist—is fun, and everyone loves it. But as each new day people breathlessly inform us of the racist history of things like crossword puzzles and punctuality, scientists are warning of an impending catastrophe.
“At this current rate of coming up with new things that are racist,” warned racism scientist Frank Greene, “we’ll run out of new things to call racist by the end of this year.”
Anti-racism activists met this news with both fear and denial. “Running out of new things to call racist would be devastating,” said activist Brooke Snyder. “I mean, you’ll only get attention if you come up with something no one knows is racist. You can’t just say things like, ‘Ethnic slurs are racist.’ Everyone knows that.”
Benny Malone, though, is one of those skeptical of the warning from scientists. “We’ll always be able to find new things that are racist,” he said. “Just watch me.” He thought for a few moments. “Ah. I got a new one: Toothpaste is racist.” His face then fell. “Wait, I have explained how that’s racist already. Well, anyway, we can’t listen to science, because I know for certain we’ve all told everyone that science is racist.”
Some proposed solutions to the impending problem include giving activists stringent limits on how many things per month they can declare racist, but this has proven unpopular. Another idea is to instead come up with new things each day to call sexist, but no one cares about that as much.
BB
8
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:01 am to TigerVespamon
ETA: can we put racist/racism on the endangered list?
This post was edited on 7/19/21 at 7:55 am
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:05 am to TigerVespamon
Trust the science!
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:47 am to TigerVespamon
Posted on 7/19/21 at 7:59 am to TigerVespamon
quote:
Well, anyway, we can’t listen to science, because I know for certain we’ve all told everyone that science is racist.”
This is the one we need to run with here. Science is racist. Fauci is racist
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:12 am to TigerVespamon
“Waisism” is what keeps their “HATE-$$$$$-BALL” Rollin!
The wails of their imaginary (((“mUh wHiTe sUpReMaCy”))) are being broadcast HOURLY to the sheep en mass on every Z-media network GLOBALLY. They’ve dropped the “Inclusiveness” arguments and now they will grandstand about Critical Race Theory and shove their virulent racism down your throat while the jews play reruns of the Roots saga on PBS 24/7.
See how this works Goy?
The wails of their imaginary (((“mUh wHiTe sUpReMaCy”))) are being broadcast HOURLY to the sheep en mass on every Z-media network GLOBALLY. They’ve dropped the “Inclusiveness” arguments and now they will grandstand about Critical Race Theory and shove their virulent racism down your throat while the jews play reruns of the Roots saga on PBS 24/7.
See how this works Goy?
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:18 am to TigerVespamon
I worked in a camera store/photo lab in the 1980's. One day, while explaining to a black, female, coworker how to operate a multimeter, I told her "red is positive, black is negative." He response was "that's the most racist thing I've ever heard." I didn't know what to say.
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:21 am to TigerVespamon
The Babylon Bee has so much source material right now and they are nailing it
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:23 am to TigerVespamon
DANG.
Between that and the earth frying from runaway global warming in the next 8 years, its time to get our affairs in order for the handful of people who survive...
Between that and the earth frying from runaway global warming in the next 8 years, its time to get our affairs in order for the handful of people who survive...
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:30 am to JJJimmyJimJames
Brilliant....
I heard that they are going to remove "South" from the compass rose due to it's connection with slavery.
I heard that they are going to remove "South" from the compass rose due to it's connection with slavery.
Posted on 7/19/21 at 8:49 am to VADawg
quote:
The Babylon Bee has so much source material right now and they are nailing it
The material writes itself.
Posted on 7/19/21 at 10:15 am to SpotCheckBilly
quote:
The material writes itself.
ALARMING COVID SURGE: Cases Double From 2 To 4 In Just One Week
quote:
“Getting vaccinated is the key to getting back to normal,” Fauci pleaded with the nation. “All we need you to do is go and get yourself vaccinated. Well, that and social distance, quit your job, reduce your carbon footprint, wear three masks, vote Democrat, and sacrifice your firstborn child to Molech in the hopes that he shows mercy upon you. Why is that so hard for everyone?”
In related news, officials in Canada say they are dealing with an apocalyptic surge of "literally infinity percent" after COVID cases increased from zero to one this week. “Our nation may never recover from this,” said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
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