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re: Any Tips for a 4 year old who won't sleep in his own bed?
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:06 pm to The Mountaineer
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:06 pm to The Mountaineer
quote:Why?
You sound like an immature parent
quote:So you're recommending I leave them at home all day with the dogs? It's actually 3 days a week at daycare, what's your point?
Let me guess....your kids spend all day at daycare
quote:Taking the easy way out, that's super mature!!!
Let the kid sleep in your bed,
0
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:07 pm to CE Tiger
quote:
guess we will suffer through the cry it out for a few nights but we're both weak and dont want her screaming bloody murder for 30 minutes in her crib...
It is incredibly tough, but it works.
Letting your kid sleep with you doesn't make you a bad parent, but you have to recognize that it is a lazy, convenient, and short-sighted decision, and it is very likely that it will create a habit that you'll want to break down the road. What makes you a bad parent is when you decide that you're going to break the habit that you and you alone created with physical discipline.
I don't say any of this to make it sound easy, because it isn't. I'm convinced it was much tougher on my wife and I to settle on the cry it out method than it was for our children, and every so often we give in, but they can't cry forever, and if they are, then there is likely something wrong that needs to be addressed (dirty diaper, hungry, etc.).
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:10 pm to shel311
Do you talk to him about this during the day? Maybe like "Hey, bud....I know you like sleeping in our bed, but big boys sleep in their own bed."
OR, you and your wife could wear scary clown masks to bed and every time he comes in both of you sit up and say "Come to clown bed! We'll watch you sleep all night long! Muhahahaha!"
OR, you and your wife could wear scary clown masks to bed and every time he comes in both of you sit up and say "Come to clown bed! We'll watch you sleep all night long! Muhahahaha!"
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:12 pm to WaltTeevens
quote:I've said before, ALL options are on the table!!!
OR, you and your wife could wear scary clown masks to bed and every time he comes in both of you sit up and say "Come to clown bed! We'll watch you sleep all night long! Muhahahaha!"
quote:Yea, I try almost daily. My other kid is super talkative, very well spoken and will basically tell you anything in a way I'll usually understand him. But this guy is more reserved, doesn't talk nearly as much, and definitely isn't one to talk in detail about something like this. So the extent of the conversation every single time is basically him just saying, "I will be so scared in my bed.", and no elaboration on that no matter how i try to get more out of him as to the why or how we can help make it easier for him.
Do you talk to him about this during the day? Maybe like "Hey, bud....I know you like sleeping in our bed, but big boys sleep in their own bed."
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:13 pm to The Mountaineer
quote:
You sound like an immature parent. Let me guess....your kids spend all day at daycare.
I'm not sure what day care has to do with being an immature parent. I know this is difficult to comprehend on the OT, but some of us don't have the professional or financial means to work from home or only have one spouse work, so daycare is a must.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:40 pm to shel311
Reverse the door knob and explain that if he gets up, you'll lock the door. Will freak out, but try to let him cry himself to sleep. Consistency is the key.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:59 pm to Mope
quote:I'm not messing with any possible emergencies and having them stuck in a room they can't quickly get out of.
Reverse the door knob and explain that if he gets up, you'll lock the door.
quote:Now the general idea of just locking the door to my bedroom I've definitely though about, but honestly, given the state he's been in lately, he'd just scream bloody murder like I've never heard him do before this past week or so, and worst so, he'd likely go back up to his bed and do it, thus waking his brother up.
Will freak out, but try to let him cry himself to sleep. Consistency is the key.
This post was edited on 5/17/16 at 3:00 pm
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:08 pm to shel311
Stop complaining. Enjoy it while they are young because there will come a time when they will not do that
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:19 pm to shel311
quote:
He says he's scared, but not much else.
Calmly press him through the issue. This could be a great opportunity to develop communication with him. Walk him through it until the two of you can figure out, together, what he is afraid of in a way that HE understands and understands that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Take him on a fishing trip or something. Get him out of the normal environment and tell him, "hey buddy, I want to talk about something", and slowly move into it. He knows how to talk, but start teaching him how to communicate.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:23 pm to TigerTreyjpg
quote:
Let him/her/them in. Your main job to a 4 year old (IMO) is to teach them that under your wing, they are protected, and safe, and secure, and wanted and loved, and I swear to Gosh, at 50, I can STILL remember that feeling of safety that came with falling asleep between my parents. Just my two cents.
Winner !!!! this guy understands it. I wanted my child to feel safe and secure. And I wanted to know they were safe and secure.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:42 pm to TigerTreyjpg
quote:
Let him sleep with you.
I'm 50, and have one child. She starts law school this fall. Thinking back to that little 4 year old wearing footie pajamas as she sneaked up to my side of the bed to whisper "daddy can I get in the big bed?" is something I think about all the time.
I'd trade pretty much any successful hand that life's sent my way just to hear that one more time. That always came with seeing the relief on her face that she wasn't "in trouble" for waking me up and asking, and it finished with seeing the look on her face as she fell asleep on my shoulder, knowing she was in the safest place in the world.
Let him/her/them in. Your main job to a 4 year old (IMO) is to teach them that under your wing, they are protected, and safe, and secure, and wanted and loved, and I swear to Gosh, at 50, I can STILL remember that feeling of safety that came with falling asleep between my parents.
Just my two cents.
Amen brother.
There will come a time when your kids won't want to be around you. Until that happens, enjoy your children man.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:44 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
don't let him back in the bed, period.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:48 pm to shel311
quote:
How can you be so sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Experience. He will stop.
This is one of those tough love moments.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:56 pm to jeffsdad
quote:I want my child to feel safe and secure as well, obviously.
Winner !!!! this guy understands it. I wanted my child to feel safe and secure. And I wanted to know they were safe and secure.
But if we're in our house, I should be teaching him that he can feel safe and secure at all times, not only when I'm in the same room with him. It's my job to make him feel safe and secure any time he's in our house, including in his own bedroom at night.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:31 pm to shel311
I had this problem with a 3 year old after a move. You should definitely not discipline the child if she is legitimately scared and having a hard time with the transition.
What I did: every time my child woke up I would take her straight back to her room, be re-assuring, let her know everything is OK, but firm that she has to sleep in her bed. If needed, stay in the room with her. I would bring a pillow a just lay down next to the bed and wait for her to fall asleep. It was a rough two weeks but it worked.
What I did: every time my child woke up I would take her straight back to her room, be re-assuring, let her know everything is OK, but firm that she has to sleep in her bed. If needed, stay in the room with her. I would bring a pillow a just lay down next to the bed and wait for her to fall asleep. It was a rough two weeks but it worked.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:36 pm to shel311
I want to offer advice, but can't, as there was a strict rule against in my house. However, I offer this as encouragement to deal with it now, like you are:
I know a divorced female now that allowed her son to sleep in bed with her after the divorce. He will be a teenager this year. He is still sleeping there. It's frightening. He refuses to sleep in his own bed. It will only get harder, don't think they will suddenly wake up in a month or so and realize they need to go back. It becomes their normal.
Good luck, sounds like you're trying to nip it in the bud.
I know a divorced female now that allowed her son to sleep in bed with her after the divorce. He will be a teenager this year. He is still sleeping there. It's frightening. He refuses to sleep in his own bed. It will only get harder, don't think they will suddenly wake up in a month or so and realize they need to go back. It becomes their normal.
Good luck, sounds like you're trying to nip it in the bud.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:08 pm to shel311
Either set up a place where he could sleep on the floor in your room or sleep in his room. I remember my oldest coming into our room every few nights when she was four, I would just take her back to her bed and then sleep on the floor (she had a toddler bed). Naturally I didn't sleep well doing that so I would wake up when she stirred and looked to the floor making sure I was still there. Once she saw that I was, she would go back to sleep.
Doing this might be eye opening for you as well. Maybe there is a random, normal sound that wakes and scared him. Maybe there are weird lights and shadows in the new room. Maybe there are weird sounds from washing machines or dishwashers that he didn't have to deal with in the old house. We figured out that our neighbor's very loud AC unit clicking on and running was waking our daughter up. We were able to show her the reason for the weird noise was and eventually she stopped coming to us in the night.
Doing this might be eye opening for you as well. Maybe there is a random, normal sound that wakes and scared him. Maybe there are weird lights and shadows in the new room. Maybe there are weird sounds from washing machines or dishwashers that he didn't have to deal with in the old house. We figured out that our neighbor's very loud AC unit clicking on and running was waking our daughter up. We were able to show her the reason for the weird noise was and eventually she stopped coming to us in the night.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:13 pm to shel311
Give sleeping twin earplugs and let screaming kid scream until he figures out that you're not buying what he's selling.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:18 pm to shel311
quote:
Make your wife sleep on the couch with him
She slept on the couch last night to cut him off when trying to come to our bed so he wouldn't keep me awake.
After reading the McDonald's paw paw thread, apparently the best way to get your young son to listen to you is to hit him, preferably with a belt.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 8:23 pm to tigerpimpbot
Tell him the boogeyman lives in your closet.
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