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re: Got any funny roommate/college stories?
Posted on 2/14/15 at 10:20 pm to JBleezy
Posted on 2/14/15 at 10:20 pm to JBleezy
My roommate and his friends stole and sold all my textbooks but I couldn't prove it because I hadn't been to class in two months by the time I noticed so I had no idea when they were actually taken.
1
Posted on 2/14/15 at 10:43 pm to BowlJackson
Me and two buddies were paired with a gay chinaman freshman year at university commons. His name was Toi. How did we know he was a gay? Found the following porn titles in his room:
Jail house cock
Sack lunch
Jail house cock
Sack lunch
Posted on 2/14/15 at 10:54 pm to poochie
I knew a guy freshman year who had a fraternity event at a bar in Tigerland the night before an astronomy test. He really wanted to go get drunk with his "bros", so he booked it all week before the event. He gets shitfaced in Tigerland and ends up passing out in a ditch on Nicholson. He had luckily set his phone alarm before he went out and made it to the test straight from the ditch.
This post was edited on 2/14/15 at 10:54 pm
Posted on 2/14/15 at 10:58 pm to JBleezy
I had a friend that would always get drunk and fall asleep on the toilet while taking a shite. He literally did this a bunch of time. First few times really freaked us out bc he locked the door. After that it was just really funny.
Smoked some weed with a girl at a UT parking garage that had just punched Stephen Pearl, Bruce Pearl's son. She was hot, but apparently had sex with a bunch of the basketball players.
Smoked some weed with a girl at a UT parking garage that had just punched Stephen Pearl, Bruce Pearl's son. She was hot, but apparently had sex with a bunch of the basketball players.
Posted on 2/14/15 at 11:00 pm to Circle K Beggar
Several interesting stories. Best one involved a roommate who had an unopened box under his bed his cousin in the states asked to send to his dad in the Middle East. Turns out it was an AK47
Posted on 2/14/15 at 11:18 pm to JBleezy
quote:
How original
Jesus, how loose is she?
Posted on 2/14/15 at 11:30 pm to JBleezy
Roommate in fraternity house brought home a black stripper with missing teeth and stretch marks. We could hear her screaming at him to pound her in the arse from down the hall. He brought her from a low class strip joint and she was absolutely disgusting. This happened six years ago and we make fun of him for it to this day.
Posted on 2/14/15 at 11:32 pm to 82fumanchu
Me and my roomate and a few other friends once or thrice shot water ballons over our fence towards the front entrance of Bogies. We had one man "caling the airstrike" who was there on the phone with us and tell us where our balloons were landing so we could adjust our trajectory. Well we made a direct hit on the bouncer and a few ladies waiting to get in. The bouncer then roid-raged and came and jumped the fence to find us. Recon man had already warned us of inbound trouble so we were gone.
Posted on 2/14/15 at 11:38 pm to Circle K Beggar
That's how every freshman deals with every test fwiw
Posted on 2/15/15 at 12:47 am to JBleezy
I had this roommate my freshman year, Robert, who was a real nerd. He was a stereotypical geek. A real yutz. After a while he could get real annoying and was very gullible. He never kissed a girl either, which should give you an idea.
So I decided to play a joke on him one time. He knew I was friendly with the girls across the hall from us. There was a time when I was really into new age music, Yanni and shite like that. I would have my headphones on listening to music. I made up this term called ‘phasing out’ and said this to my roommate. I told him it was when you would leave your body and float around. I said that I could see everything while I was floating around too. Of course he didn’t believe me right off the bat. So I figured, I’ll keep hitting him with this stuff and maybe at some point he’ll believe it.
Now, I happened to know that my friend, Natalie, who lived across the hall, would shower everyday at 4pm. Fortunately, my roommate didn’t know this fact. One day she had just gotten out of the shower. He comes in our room and I tell him that I had my headphones on and was phasing out and saw Natalie across the hall in the shower and that she just got out. Of course he says, ‘no way?’ I told him to go check it out. So he goes across the hall, knocks on the door and Natalie answers the door in a towel, her hair still wet. She says, ‘what’s up? What’s going on?’ He thinks this is really weird. I told her ahead of time that whatever he says to just believe it. So she goes along with it. Of course he’s still a little skeptical of it, saying that I probably knew that was showering. So I keep working it.
I told my suitemate Brian about it one day. He worked at a 7-11. I said to him, ‘when you come home tonight tell us about a car accident that happened right in front of the 7-11 between two cars, maybe a Chevy Nova and a Pontiac Firebird. I’ll tell Robert about this ahead of time, that I saw this when I was phasing out, then you come in and verify it.’ So that day I tell Robert that I phased out in my sociology class and was flying over where Brian works and bam, saw this accident right in front of the 7-11. He says ‘yeah okay, we’ll see what happens when Brian comes home.’ So, Brian comes home that night and says, ‘Wow, you won’t believe what happened, I saw this accident in front of the 7-11,’ and describes everything the way I said it would be. Brian is freaking out, saying, ‘oh my god you have the power.’ I tell him that I need the music to phase out, but that I’m working on doing it without it.
So, for months I kept up this charade, and figured it’s going to come in handy one day. One day Rob pissed me off something bad. I turn to him and said, ‘If you do that shite again, I swear to God I’m going to leave my body, enter yours and blow you up from the inside out.’ I started screaming at him. He freaked, his eyes widened, and he threw himself back in the corner and got into a fetal position, cowering. He even started crying. I kept thinking to myself, ‘wow what did I do?’ He was shaking. I thought this is too amazing. I didn’t think he was going to react that way. I felt bad, but I was still pissed and said, ‘you stay there and whimper until I get back.’ Then I went across the hall to see the girls and told them what happened. I’m gone for a good half an hour, and I tell the girls that I’m going to tell Rob the truth and end it. I come back to our room thinking he’s going to be calmed down. When I walk in, he’s on the phone with his parents saying, ‘there he is, he’s coming in.’ I can hear his parents, they’re trying to calm him down, saying on the other end of the line, ‘Rob, calm down.’ So I say to him, ‘hey Rob put your parents on hold,’ and he says to his parents, ‘he wants to talk with me. What should I do?’ I thought to myself, I can’t tell him the whole truth, this is too good. So I said, ‘Rob, I’ve learned to control my anger. I’ve learned to control my power, and I’m not going to blow you up or harm you. Just do what I tell you to do and don’t piss me off.’ So all of a sudden he says to his parents, ‘I’ve got to go,’ and hangs up then looks at me and says ‘I’m so sorry.’
I wasn’t his roommate after that, but one day he came by and opened the door, got on the floor and everybody walked the dinosaur.
So I decided to play a joke on him one time. He knew I was friendly with the girls across the hall from us. There was a time when I was really into new age music, Yanni and shite like that. I would have my headphones on listening to music. I made up this term called ‘phasing out’ and said this to my roommate. I told him it was when you would leave your body and float around. I said that I could see everything while I was floating around too. Of course he didn’t believe me right off the bat. So I figured, I’ll keep hitting him with this stuff and maybe at some point he’ll believe it.
Now, I happened to know that my friend, Natalie, who lived across the hall, would shower everyday at 4pm. Fortunately, my roommate didn’t know this fact. One day she had just gotten out of the shower. He comes in our room and I tell him that I had my headphones on and was phasing out and saw Natalie across the hall in the shower and that she just got out. Of course he says, ‘no way?’ I told him to go check it out. So he goes across the hall, knocks on the door and Natalie answers the door in a towel, her hair still wet. She says, ‘what’s up? What’s going on?’ He thinks this is really weird. I told her ahead of time that whatever he says to just believe it. So she goes along with it. Of course he’s still a little skeptical of it, saying that I probably knew that was showering. So I keep working it.
I told my suitemate Brian about it one day. He worked at a 7-11. I said to him, ‘when you come home tonight tell us about a car accident that happened right in front of the 7-11 between two cars, maybe a Chevy Nova and a Pontiac Firebird. I’ll tell Robert about this ahead of time, that I saw this when I was phasing out, then you come in and verify it.’ So that day I tell Robert that I phased out in my sociology class and was flying over where Brian works and bam, saw this accident right in front of the 7-11. He says ‘yeah okay, we’ll see what happens when Brian comes home.’ So, Brian comes home that night and says, ‘Wow, you won’t believe what happened, I saw this accident in front of the 7-11,’ and describes everything the way I said it would be. Brian is freaking out, saying, ‘oh my god you have the power.’ I tell him that I need the music to phase out, but that I’m working on doing it without it.
So, for months I kept up this charade, and figured it’s going to come in handy one day. One day Rob pissed me off something bad. I turn to him and said, ‘If you do that shite again, I swear to God I’m going to leave my body, enter yours and blow you up from the inside out.’ I started screaming at him. He freaked, his eyes widened, and he threw himself back in the corner and got into a fetal position, cowering. He even started crying. I kept thinking to myself, ‘wow what did I do?’ He was shaking. I thought this is too amazing. I didn’t think he was going to react that way. I felt bad, but I was still pissed and said, ‘you stay there and whimper until I get back.’ Then I went across the hall to see the girls and told them what happened. I’m gone for a good half an hour, and I tell the girls that I’m going to tell Rob the truth and end it. I come back to our room thinking he’s going to be calmed down. When I walk in, he’s on the phone with his parents saying, ‘there he is, he’s coming in.’ I can hear his parents, they’re trying to calm him down, saying on the other end of the line, ‘Rob, calm down.’ So I say to him, ‘hey Rob put your parents on hold,’ and he says to his parents, ‘he wants to talk with me. What should I do?’ I thought to myself, I can’t tell him the whole truth, this is too good. So I said, ‘Rob, I’ve learned to control my anger. I’ve learned to control my power, and I’m not going to blow you up or harm you. Just do what I tell you to do and don’t piss me off.’ So all of a sudden he says to his parents, ‘I’ve got to go,’ and hangs up then looks at me and says ‘I’m so sorry.’
I wasn’t his roommate after that, but one day he came by and opened the door, got on the floor and everybody walked the dinosaur.
Posted on 2/15/15 at 1:01 am to JBleezy
Had a group of friends in from out of town. Half went with me to see the campus while the rest hung back with my roommate to keep drinking.
When we get back we see a 280lb flash of skin dive into a bed room. Everybody remaining in the room was laughing hysterically.
Apparently we walked in on him strumming a guitar drunkenly singing made up songs about his testicles in his best "Arnold" voice while wearing nothing but a beanie duct taped over his junk like a jock strap.
The videos are glorious.
When we get back we see a 280lb flash of skin dive into a bed room. Everybody remaining in the room was laughing hysterically.
Apparently we walked in on him strumming a guitar drunkenly singing made up songs about his testicles in his best "Arnold" voice while wearing nothing but a beanie duct taped over his junk like a jock strap.
The videos are glorious.
Posted on 2/15/15 at 6:38 am to Bmath
We lived all the way in the back corner of sterling...we used to get a water balloon launcher and nail everyone coming home from the bars ....fun times
This post was edited on 2/15/15 at 6:39 am
Posted on 2/15/15 at 6:39 am to JBleezy
Had a roommate Freshman year in Hodges. Back then, registration was done in the Assembly Center and finalized in the fieldhouse. After you signed up for you meal plan, took your ID photo, and paid your fees, you had a whole packet of stuff. This packet included your ID (that you used to eat), class schedule, etc.
Well, this guy lost his entire packet between the fieldhouse and Hodges dormitory. So, for the first two weeks of the semester this guy had no idea what or where his classes were. He just laid around mostly. Figured out he could sell his plasma and buy cigarettes and beer with the money, after a few days.
Anyway, I came back one afternoon from class, and he's sitting on his bed eating a pizza. I ask him where he got the money to buy it and he says he wrote a check. When I said I didn't think he had a checking account, he informed me he wrote one of my checks to buy his pizza.
Another time, he asked me if I had seen his car. I told him I hadn't. He said he had parked it in the alley between the stadium and the dorm sometime Friday after noon and now he couldn't find it. Well, it was Monday and there had been a home football game on Saturday, so his car had been towed. Took him three days to find it.
He would sit in the hallway and talk to his mother on the phone all night and then sleep all day instead of going to class.
Well, this guy lost his entire packet between the fieldhouse and Hodges dormitory. So, for the first two weeks of the semester this guy had no idea what or where his classes were. He just laid around mostly. Figured out he could sell his plasma and buy cigarettes and beer with the money, after a few days.
Anyway, I came back one afternoon from class, and he's sitting on his bed eating a pizza. I ask him where he got the money to buy it and he says he wrote a check. When I said I didn't think he had a checking account, he informed me he wrote one of my checks to buy his pizza.
Another time, he asked me if I had seen his car. I told him I hadn't. He said he had parked it in the alley between the stadium and the dorm sometime Friday after noon and now he couldn't find it. Well, it was Monday and there had been a home football game on Saturday, so his car had been towed. Took him three days to find it.
He would sit in the hallway and talk to his mother on the phone all night and then sleep all day instead of going to class.
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