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re: Just got served divorce papers today
Posted on 7/16/15 at 1:22 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
Posted on 7/16/15 at 1:22 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
I chose a divorce attorney today she is in the Woodlands near my office and seems darn good. She was extremely helpful about what I should expect, what not to hope for - pretty much a realist. One thing she did do was walk me through an exercise about choices that was extremely helpful. Pretty awesome actually. I plan to modify it and use it when I do M&A work going forward.
Everything is pretty much cut and dry, unless there is an issue with one of the Parents...that is when you need a good attorney.
0
Posted on 7/16/15 at 2:48 am to Spaceman Spiff
Unfortunately, people, women especially dont understand loyalty because loyalty is from your pov. They live in the moment and go with their feelings which can change with a pic of friend having a better life, something you did,etc. You give them eberything and they get bored and split.
As for relationships/marriage
They'll indirectly tell you whats wrong(They're passive) i.e. cheating, unhappy, etc. ALWAYs watch what they do not what they say, don't ever give them 100%, be indifferent, never let them get you emotional but you always vice versa, realize they're true nature(control your ego(Your woman will f another man if it feels good no matter how much she loves you and justify it later)(men too) that they're just as filthy as we are, You always finish how you start, stop the she's so nice, loyal, fairy tales, etc. Also if there's a woman in need there's a simp to please. The only way to win the marriage is not to play.
OP, the reason why I say test your kids is because that is the kill shot, I've seen it destroy the best of men. Take that off the table. Those kids are about to go through hell, and unless you prepare them for it, they will not understand your POV except what mom says and blame you/themselves. They will have to deal with other men seeing their mom, seeing you not as much, etc. You owe it to yourself and them because even though that will happen nothing is worse than finding out that you aren't their dad. You're at war and she's already way ahead you. I bet she's been planning this for a while.
As for relationships/marriage
They'll indirectly tell you whats wrong(They're passive) i.e. cheating, unhappy, etc. ALWAYs watch what they do not what they say, don't ever give them 100%, be indifferent, never let them get you emotional but you always vice versa, realize they're true nature(control your ego(Your woman will f another man if it feels good no matter how much she loves you and justify it later)(men too) that they're just as filthy as we are, You always finish how you start, stop the she's so nice, loyal, fairy tales, etc. Also if there's a woman in need there's a simp to please. The only way to win the marriage is not to play.
OP, the reason why I say test your kids is because that is the kill shot, I've seen it destroy the best of men. Take that off the table. Those kids are about to go through hell, and unless you prepare them for it, they will not understand your POV except what mom says and blame you/themselves. They will have to deal with other men seeing their mom, seeing you not as much, etc. You owe it to yourself and them because even though that will happen nothing is worse than finding out that you aren't their dad. You're at war and she's already way ahead you. I bet she's been planning this for a while.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 2:51 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
shite sucks.
yeah it does.
my parents got divorced when I was eleven years old.
I feel sorry for your kids.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 3:35 am to TJGator1215
quote:
Unfortunately, people, women especially dont understand loyalty because loyalty is from your pov. They live in the moment and go with their feelings which can change with a pic of friend having a better life, something you did,etc. You give them eberything and they get bored and split.
As for relationships/marriage
They'll indirectly tell you whats wrong(They're passive) i.e. cheating, unhappy, etc. ALWAYs watch what they do not what they say, don't ever give them 100%, be indifferent, never let them get you emotional but you always vice versa, realize they're true nature(control your ego(Your woman will f another man if it feels good no matter how much she loves you and justify it later)(men too) that they're just as filthy as we are, You always finish how you start, stop the she's so nice, loyal, fairy tales, etc. Also if there's a woman in need there's a simp to please. The only way to win the marriage is not to play.
OP, the reason why I say test your kids is because that is the kill shot, I've seen it destroy the best of men. Take that off the table. Those kids are about to go through hell, and unless you prepare them for it, they will not understand your POV except what mom says and blame you/themselves. They will have to deal with other men seeing their mom, seeing you not as much, etc. You owe it to yourself and them because even though that will happen nothing is worse than finding out that you aren't their dad. You're at war and she's already way ahead you. I bet she's been planning this for a while.
Holy shite
Posted on 7/16/15 at 11:21 am to SoulGlo
Seems to be a lot of them out there who fit this description. Would love to find one who is above this.
Yeah, I learned that mine had been planning her departure for at least nine months prior to leaving. Once I came to terms with that and the fact that there was no longer an "us", it was a lot easier to take care of business and protect my interest.
After she got tired of girls, she went back to guys. I actually feel for the poor bastard she is living with right now because the kids have already gotten hints of her plans once he dies. Given that he is now in his late 60's and a heavy smoker, that will probably happen sooner than later. I am not sure he knows. Then again, she is now "sorta" his, so it's his problem. I am just so thankful that it's not mine anymore. Looking back, if there had not been kids, I would have probably ended the marriage myself long before it actually ended.
Yeah, I learned that mine had been planning her departure for at least nine months prior to leaving. Once I came to terms with that and the fact that there was no longer an "us", it was a lot easier to take care of business and protect my interest.
After she got tired of girls, she went back to guys. I actually feel for the poor bastard she is living with right now because the kids have already gotten hints of her plans once he dies. Given that he is now in his late 60's and a heavy smoker, that will probably happen sooner than later. I am not sure he knows. Then again, she is now "sorta" his, so it's his problem. I am just so thankful that it's not mine anymore. Looking back, if there had not been kids, I would have probably ended the marriage myself long before it actually ended.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 11:41 am to damnedoldtigah
quote:
One other thing. Don't put anything in writing that can be used against you. Pouring your heart out to her in writing will eventually end up in her attorney's hands.
Agree with this in part. If one really wants to make things work and puts it into writing, what can it hurt? As long as it isn't anything damning, then all it will show is someone who wants it to work, right?
With that said, one or two isn't bad - but don't go overboard and become almost stalkerish, or pushy, or clingy, or needy, or anything else that would be a turn-off to normal women, much less one in hte midst of a divorce and whose mind isn't all there...
Posted on 7/16/15 at 11:55 am to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
Things happen over time. Kids, hysterectomies, mid-life crisis, some of them still wanting the white house and fricking picket fence.
She tried to change me and found out she couldn't.
I've seen all of the above so far.
I guess I could change the last sentence to: she's trying to change me but she can't very easily or can not.
Here's a question to the experienced ones.
Do you get a lawyer before hand to play it safe even though you are not looking for divorce with wife?
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:15 pm to LSU9102
quote:
I guess I could change the last sentence to: she's trying to change me but she can't very easily or can not.
Here's a question to the experienced ones.
Do you get a lawyer before hand to play it safe even though you are not looking for divorce with wife?
As far as in our case, I haven't contacted one as of yet. I think part of the reason that I haven't yet - and this may sound stupid - is that, in my eyes, it would mean that I have given up. I know, its smart to get one and prepare, but I just can't as of now. I still want ours to work out and am not giving up.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:36 pm to BamaHater
quote:
Everything you say or have said on TD can and probably will be used against you in the divorce proceedings
I am pretty ignorant about tracks left on the internet, but wouldn't the wife need to know the husband posted here to find this stuff?
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:36 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
It has been about 36 hours and it still hurts.
Man I feel so bad for you and cannot imagine the pain you are going through but that comment made me laugh. If finding out your wife of 20 years and the mother of your 7 kids didn't still hurt after 36 hours there would be something VERY wrong with you. It will get better but its probably going to take a few years, not hours or days, good luck man!
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:40 pm to SoulGlo
quote:
Holy shite
Don't worry. Your special princess is not like that. She's different. She's not like the rest of them.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:41 pm to SoulGlo
quote:
SoulGlo
Slight hijack. Just wanted to let you know that everytime I see you post the chorus to the commercial pops in my head. "Just let your Soooooul Glooooooow!"
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:46 pm to SoulGlo
quote:
Holy shite
He came in like a wrecking ballllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:46 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
I've been divorced for a year, and separated for 2 prior to making it official. The only advice I have to tell you is, don't lose yourself and remember to keep your kids first. Also, women these days are straight up players. Don't be afraid to love again, but protect your heart. You don't need to be fed anymore bullshite than you already have, but these females don't care. Spend some guy time with your friends, cry that shite out when you feel you need to, and don't let your ex cloud your self worth.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 12:58 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
On a different note I chose a divorce attorney today she is in the Woodlands near my office and seems darn good.
You decided to use a female divorce attorney? Big mistake.
This post was edited on 7/16/15 at 1:00 pm
Posted on 7/16/15 at 1:34 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
I'm beginning to realize that the stay at home capable moms of this generation are as far and few in between as finding a multi millionaire spouse.
This post was edited on 7/16/15 at 1:37 pm
Posted on 7/16/15 at 1:45 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
23 years of marriage in a what I thought was faithful, catholic marriage
Do not sign the papers.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 1:53 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Mid Iowa Tiger:
My heart and prayers go out to you and your kids.
You sound like a good guy and great Dad and hope that when the time is right, you will be able to share your qualities with a lady that deserves them.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your kids.
You sound like a good guy and great Dad and hope that when the time is right, you will be able to share your qualities with a lady that deserves them.
Posted on 7/16/15 at 2:01 pm to Moustache
quote:
Do not sign the papers.
Why not?
Posted on 7/16/15 at 2:03 pm to Apache
quote:
You decided to use a female divorce attorney? Big mistake.
He's not in BR but you do realize one of the most respected family lawyers in BR is a woman, right?
Ya big ole goob.
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