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Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:50 pm to Warheel
I have a condition where I like to steal library books. I should probably get that checked out.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:50 pm to HogPharmer
What do you call a Chinese cameraman? Phil Ming.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:51 pm to wileyjones
I used to work as a trash collector. They asked if I wanted on-the-job training. I said, "I'll pick it up as I go."
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:51 pm to Will Cover
What do you call a cow jumping over a barb wire fence?
Utter-destruction
What did the fish saw when he swam into the wall?
Dam
Utter-destruction
What did the fish saw when he swam into the wall?
Dam
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:51 pm to HogPharmer
Coward- to move in the direction of cows
This post was edited on 1/13/26 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:55 pm to HogPharmer
Not a "Dad" joke but my Dad's fav "Aggie" joke.
Aggie walks into a drug store and buys a pack of condoms.
The cashier says that'll be 2.75 plus tax.
Aggie says "tacks"? "oh shite" " I thought you just rolled them on"
Aggie walks into a drug store and buys a pack of condoms.
The cashier says that'll be 2.75 plus tax.
Aggie says "tacks"? "oh shite" " I thought you just rolled them on"
Posted on 1/13/26 at 8:57 pm to jpbTiger
quote:
The cheese factory down the street blew up. Da Brie was everywhere.
The workers got da bleus.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:04 pm to HogPharmer
What’s blue and comes in brownies
Cub scouts
Cub scouts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:04 pm to fr33manator
Did y’all hear Dracula gained about 75 pounds recently?
He’s now called Vampire the Buffet Slayer…
He’s now called Vampire the Buffet Slayer…
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:15 pm to Jake88
quote:
Was David Duke your dad?
Expansive Dad joke inquiry interrupted by this…That Screams “I have a small worldview sphere of life, and you cannot make me change my POV!”
David Duke…meh. That’s all u got, aye?
Cmon, man.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:16 pm to HogPharmer
I've got one about IKEA but it takes forever to set up
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:20 pm to HogPharmer
I took my kids to a zoo this past weekend
When we got there all they had was one dog in a kennel.
It was a shite-zoo
When we got there all they had was one dog in a kennel.
It was a shite-zoo
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:21 pm to molsusports
I've recently been started telling people about the benefits of dried grapes as I have been on a health kick.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:25 pm to dexy82
You know where ships full of dogs get unloaded?
Down by the dach,sund.
Down by the dach,sund.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:26 pm to HogPharmer
Some book recommendations:
"Fifty yard dash to the outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by Betty Wont.
"Blood on the hurdles" a great mystery by the famous Chinese author, Won Hung Lo.
"Fifty yard dash to the outhouse" by Willie Makit. Illustrated by Betty Wont.
"Blood on the hurdles" a great mystery by the famous Chinese author, Won Hung Lo.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:31 pm to OweO
quote:
I am not sure if this is considered racist. A black person actually told me this joke in high school.
How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling.
Not racist at all. "Racist" is a personal interpretation. It's a personal choice to label something "Racists" and I find life is easier when you stop labeling everything.
Funny is just funny and certainly not racist.
"How do you stop little black kids from running around?"
"Wet their lips and stick them to a mirror"
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:41 pm to RebRxV
Joe Biden sneaks out and goes for a walk one morning. Along the way he comes across a boy with a box of puppies. What kind of puppies are those young man, Biden asks. The little boy says these are democrat puppies sir. Fine puppies son, says Biden as he walks away.
A couple of weeks later, Biden is out for another walk with some of his staff members. He sees the boy and his box of puppies again, and decides to show them to his staff.
He walks up to the boy and asks him, boy what kind of puppies are those? The little boy replies, sir, these are republican puppies. Biden says wait, just a couple of weeks ago you said they were democrat puppies! They boy says yes sir they were, but now their eyes are open.
A couple of weeks later, Biden is out for another walk with some of his staff members. He sees the boy and his box of puppies again, and decides to show them to his staff.
He walks up to the boy and asks him, boy what kind of puppies are those? The little boy replies, sir, these are republican puppies. Biden says wait, just a couple of weeks ago you said they were democrat puppies! They boy says yes sir they were, but now their eyes are open.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 9:55 pm to HogPharmer
I had trouble communicating in Helsinki because I couldn’t Finnish my sentences.
Posted on 1/13/26 at 11:07 pm to KfromCAPER
What do you call Casper the Friendly Ghost's mom and dad?
His transparents.
Why do golfers carry two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
His transparents.
Why do golfers carry two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
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