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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:14 pm to Mo Jeaux
I would say not putting yourself in position to be raped more than likely significantly reduces your chances of being raped next to 0.
But apparently victims do no wrong in rape cases.
But apparently victims do no wrong in rape cases.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:15 pm to TH03
And yall think the stats are biased as shite. 
This post was edited on 7/30/14 at 1:15 pm
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:15 pm to Winkface
quote:
frick me sideways
Only if you promise not to regret it.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:16 pm to liz18lsu
I am in no way trying to justify the line of questioning or the nurses demeanor, but was there any chance the line of questioning was hospital procedure?
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:16 pm to liz18lsu
Again, I'm sorry what happened to you.
However....
Those seem like questions he should ask, and likely those questions are included in a hospital protocol on how to interview rape victims. I doubt he did it on the fly.
Did you tell him no?
However....
quote:Doesnt mean he is condescending, he is asking questions he needs specific answers to for his report.
The male nurse I interviewed with was very abrupt
quote:
He asked if I fought back - "No". Did I plan to press charges - "I don't know yet". And the last statement is what made me stop cold. He asked "So, were you raped or not?"
Those seem like questions he should ask, and likely those questions are included in a hospital protocol on how to interview rape victims. I doubt he did it on the fly.
quote:
- I DIDN'T CONSENT TO SEX WITH HIM.
Did you tell him no?
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:16 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:Did you read the article or are you taking SFP's word on that?
While bemoaning that the men are being portrayed as victims.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:18 pm to Winkface
wink still calling all men rapists up in here?
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:18 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
The male nurse I interviewed with was very abrupt. I described what happened, how I was bent over with a hand over my mouth, how I disassociated from the act, and after the guy was done, how I was left alone with his semen dripping down my leg. He asked if I fought back - "No". Did I plan to press charges - "I don't know yet". And the last statement is what made me stop cold. He asked "So, were you raped or not?"
Do you think your mental state at the moment had anything to do with you perceiving these questions as somewhat hostile?
BTW, I can only imagine what was going through your head:
quote:
For someone who is very feisty, I began doubting everything. If you are being raped, you FIGHT, right? But, I didn't know this man, I had a male friend with me, I felt safe, I was sober. But how did I allow this to happen? Was it my fault? Did my clothes indicate it was ok? It was a very confusing process. I was angry at myself for cowering to this man. I was pissed that my passivity made it seem ok, and that because I didn't fight back, maybe this man thought it WAS ok. I don't know
This post was edited on 7/30/14 at 1:19 pm
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:18 pm to Cajun Revolution
quote:
I would say not putting yourself in position to be raped more than likely significantly reduces your chances of being raped next to 0.
I would too, but the agenda is to describe that as shaming. Again, women are fully equal in every way as a man, but under no circumstances should they be forced to bear any repercussions for their actions, even if they falsely accuse me of rape.
To some people, saying that a man who rapes a woman should be blamed and held accountable while simultaneously criticizing a woman's irresponsible behavior that put her in a compromising position are mutually exclusive propositions.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:19 pm to Winkface
quote:
Did you read the article or are you taking SFP's word on that?
I read the article.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:20 pm to CptBengal
quote:
Did you tell him no?
I was taken from a room full of people, so this person could "show me something". Without a word I was bent over a bathroom sink.
And you are all correct about hospital procedure. I wasn't prepared for the sterility of it all. I needed comfort, which the female nurses provided. I understand his questions, it was the manner in which they were asked.
I very strongly feel that far too many men's lives are ruined by women with a sexual regret. I stand by that.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:22 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
Did I plan to press charges - "I don't know yet".
there is no acceptable explanation if he was truly being condescending in that situation but you not knowing if you would report it may have been a factor. Not sure why he would be asking you those questions (i don't know rape kit protocol)
quote:
For someone who is very feisty, I began doubting everything. If you are being raped, you FIGHT, right? But, I didn't know this man, I had a male friend with me, I felt safe, I was sober. But how did I allow this to happen? Was it my fault? Did my clothes indicate it was ok? It was a very confusing process. I was angry at myself for cowering to this man. I was pissed that my passivity made it seem ok, and that because I didn't fight back, maybe this man thought it WAS ok. I don't know. First time I have talked about it in any length. With all the confusion, one thing is clear - I DIDN'T CONSENT TO SEX WITH HIM.
You really should seek counseling. Easy for me to say you shouldn't blame or beat yourself up over it b/c i have no idea what you are going through. There has to be people you can reach out to that will probably tell you everything you are doing is normal.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:22 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
I DIDN'T CONSENT TO SEX WITH HIM.
knowing nothing else about your case, I'm inclined to agree with you that you were raped. sounds like a horrible experience as you tell it. Condolences and prayers sent (yeah, even at this late date).
That being said, the questions sound fairly normal/procedural. Perhaps you were more sensitive to his demeanor- rightfully so given the previous events. But I still don't see how any of this is "shaming".
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:23 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
I was taken from a room full of people, so this person could "show me something". Without a word I was bent over a bathroom sink.
that's horrible. I am very sorry you had to endure that situation.
quote:
And you are all correct about hospital procedure. I wasn't prepared for the sterility of it all.
In terms of gathering facts, the questions should likely be asked as to avoid any pretense of "bias", should it have to be used in court.
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:24 pm to liz18lsu
I could see the questions as being "cold", but medical professionals are that way all the time. They can't let their emotions impact their job.
The way it was asked is because maybe he found it odd you went there with (maybe) no intentions of pressing charges and with no bodily damage (not sure if that was the case or not)
That being said, I wish you had gone through with it and I'm sorry you had to go through that
The way it was asked is because maybe he found it odd you went there with (maybe) no intentions of pressing charges and with no bodily damage (not sure if that was the case or not)
That being said, I wish you had gone through with it and I'm sorry you had to go through that
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:24 pm to liz18lsu
If you have not sought therapy for this then you need to. There is no need for shame.
I know what I am saying is matter of fact and that you agree with me on an intellectual level, but I also know that telling someone, especially a stranger, that you were raped has got to be one of the hardest things to do.
I know what I am saying is matter of fact and that you agree with me on an intellectual level, but I also know that telling someone, especially a stranger, that you were raped has got to be one of the hardest things to do.
This post was edited on 7/30/14 at 1:25 pm
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:29 pm to liz18lsu
quote:I don't see any reason for a nurse or doctor to ask this.
"So, were you raped or not?"
Posted on 7/30/14 at 1:31 pm to LesMiles BFF
Thanks for the kind words. I hate that both men and women have to go through this. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and it sucks when regrets, violence, alcohol, etc. cloud what should be a good experience. I am in therapy and, while it has made me trust in people a little less, I do not think most people are inherently bad. 
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