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Started By
Message
re: Should I leave Ukraine?
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:50 am to N2daWild
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:50 am to N2daWild
quote:
My wife can 100% make her own decisions about her life, that is how our marriage works. As for the baby, to think I could just pry the baby from her arms and take her on the plane with no ticket is just not as simple as that sounds. My wife took the risk to bring that baby into this world, not me. My wife loves that baby very much. Taking the baby from her without her permission was never an option. How do you do that exactly? Should I just slap her around and take the baby by force?
1. You came here asking questions
2. Never hit your wife. Be assertive and take action.
You should try something like “She is my child too. I have every right to want what is best for her, and I don’t think being in a potential war zone is what is best for her. I will do whatever I need to in order to make sure she is safe.”
The fact that you still think your decision is to stay here or go stay there with them is still concerning. You continue to show poor decision making.
Your only focus should be getting them to safety. Wether you have to go there to bring them back or not is the only question
This post was edited on 2/24/22 at 10:52 am
2
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:52 am to N2daWild
quote:
Should I leave Ukraine?
Little late now.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:53 am to OldmanBeasley
My marriage is fine. My wife has the freedom to make her own decisions and we are okay being apart for what usually is about 3 months a year, so she can be with her son.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:54 am to N2daWild
Props on whatever works for you. But I don't think I could be in a relationship where my wife and newborn stay in a warzone because "she can make her own decisions."
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:55 am to N2daWild
quote:
She has a 15 year son there, but her decision to stay is not about family. She never believed Putin would invade and everyone around her agreed. Yes she is also hard headed. The main reason she stayed is to do the IVF. Her parents told her not to do IVF in 2020 and they are both physicians. She didn't listen to them. So she risked the crazy hormonal treatments they put her through and covid on a crowded public bus in Kiev for 3 months for a 1% chance of pregnancy. As it turns out, we have a beautiful baby because she wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. She wants another baby and is determined to have one. The only thing that will stop her is if they close down the clinic. As crazy as it might seem, people still need to make a living. They don't get free money when they don't work, like in America. Once Putin puts his puppet in, they will go back to work. The clinic could be operational fairly quickly, depending on what happens in Kiev.
As for me taking the baby back, believe me I thought about it. The problem was that her sister, who lives in Russia, also just had a baby. The sister was coming to Ukraine for a few months so the families could be together. My wife obviously wanted the baby there when her sister visited, combined with thinking the invasion was bullshite. Lets just say, it would have been real hard to pry the baby from her. I still thought about it though. I will live with that guilt if something happens to her.
well atleast that makes more sense. and god speed brother, i really hope things work out for you and will truely say prayers for you and your family tonight.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:55 am to N2daWild
quote:
My marriage is fine. My wife has the freedom to make her own decisions and we are okay being apart for what usually is about 3 months a year, so she can be with her son.
The part you keep missing is that her decisions are putting your daughter in danger
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:57 am to WaWaWeeWa
I didn't catch the early parts of the thread. Did someone say OP and his wife are just visiting Ukraine right now, but they actually live in the US currently? If that baby is a US citizen by birth, OP actually very much could have "ripped the baby from her arms" like he says he couldn't have done.
I get why that's a hard decision to make, but unless the child lives/was born in Ukraine and the government will stop you from taking him/her, the answer is yes to taking baby from her arms when there's even a small chance they all lose their lives staying there.
That's the kicker with these 90 day marriage setups, depending where the bride is from. If they come from a culture where their parents/siblings matter more to them than their American husband, you're pretty much useless after you've given her the children she wants. Different world in some of those cultures.
I get why that's a hard decision to make, but unless the child lives/was born in Ukraine and the government will stop you from taking him/her, the answer is yes to taking baby from her arms when there's even a small chance they all lose their lives staying there.
That's the kicker with these 90 day marriage setups, depending where the bride is from. If they come from a culture where their parents/siblings matter more to them than their American husband, you're pretty much useless after you've given her the children she wants. Different world in some of those cultures.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:58 am to N2daWild
quote:
I was thinking if Putin was going to invade it would happen before I left, well it didn't. So now, here it is the night before I'm going to leave and I have to make a decision
I don’t know why you thought that. Even major news stations were reporting that Putin was waiting until after the Olympics to invade.
You said you created this thread to ask for advice before you left, yet you ignored the overwhelming large majority of responses telling you to get your family out of there.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:58 am to N2daWild
quote:
I'm 53 and had a vasectomy. I did a reversal in Ukraine but the chances of having natural are very low and she is not getting younger. They froze my sperm when I did the surgery and we had a successful IVF in 2020 despite the low odds.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:59 am to N2daWild
quote:
The whole 90 day bride thing is a different ball game.
When this is over, we are going to need some details on the above.
Have never known anyone to do the mail order bride.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 10:59 am to WaWaWeeWa
quote:
The fact that you still think your decision is to stay here or go stay there with them is still concerning.
I'm just confused about the possibility of going back now. Why leave in the first place then?
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:00 am to Displaced
Sounds like he got a mail order bride and he had to mail himself to her. Seems a bit backwards
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:01 am to Honkus
quote:
Honkus
Hey you started the last world disaster, please leave this thread
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:02 am to DarthRebel
quote:
When this is over, we are going to need some details on the above.
Have never known anyone to do the mail order bride.
I think he's just calling it that tongue-in-cheek. He said earlier he met her on Match.com while in Russia or something.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:02 am to N2daWild
Sounds like your first bad decision was marrying a crazy women
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:05 am to jchamil
He said they met on Match.com. That’s a dating site not a mail order bride site
correct?
correct?
This post was edited on 2/24/22 at 11:06 am
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:06 am to DarthRebel
Why you gotta bring up old shite? That was like.. years ago. Surprised yall still remember that minor ordeal.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:10 am to Honkus
quote:
Surprised yall still remember that minor ordeal.
Hahaha, whole damn OT was organizing an extraction for you and you made it on TV.
Yeah we remember
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:11 am to WaWaWeeWa
quote:
The part you keep missing is that her decisions are putting your daughter in danger
I told you she is hard headed. Her mind was made up and she had her family and the rest of her city telling her she was correct. Short of me kidnapping the baby she wasn't getting on the plane with me. They found out this morning that they were wrong. I called her and she talked about getting her crowns and the IVF.
I'm going to call her right now and see if anything has changed.
Posted on 2/24/22 at 11:15 am to N2daWild
quote:
I told you she is hard headed. Her mind was made up and she had her family and the rest of her city telling her she was correct. Short of me kidnapping the baby she wasn't getting on the plane with me. They found out this morning that they were wrong. I called her and she talked about getting her crowns and the IVF.
Kidnapping the baby is on the table in this scenario. You have every right to protect your child. It should be her decision if she wants to stay or not WITHOUT the baby if she wants to be crazy AF.
I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just telling you what most men here would do.
You say there is nothing you can do but it sounds like you never tried, you just got that feeling the she wouldn’t leave or let you leave with the baby.
What’s the most assertive thing you said to her so far?
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