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re: Why do men become so non-social as they age?
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:56 pm to Daygo85
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:56 pm to Daygo85
quote:
Why do men become so non-social as they age?
I don't think we become non nor anti-social, it's just that I get tired of hearing about chronic "problems" some have who make zero attempts to fix the problem, and I sure as frick don't want to hear about people's political beliefs non-stop, etc. Otherwise I am fine socializing with most people especially over some good beer, sports, dogs, BBQ, etc.
0
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:57 pm to Daygo85
I am 56 and honestly prefer being alone to being with anybody, including my wife. I am hiking Big Bend in June alone. I would rather travel alone than have to always account for someone else and their priorities and their problems.
I always thought it was because I was an only child, but I know several guys my age who come from large families but prefer solitude.
I always thought it was because I was an only child, but I know several guys my age who come from large families but prefer solitude.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:57 pm to Daygo85
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:58 pm to Daygo85
Person: Hi! How are you?
Me: I'm fine, thanks.
Person: Aren't you going to ask me how I am?
Me: No, I don't care.
A lot of truth above. I'm past 50 now and I just want to leave people alone and be left alone in return.
Me: I'm fine, thanks.
Person: Aren't you going to ask me how I am?
Me: No, I don't care.
A lot of truth above. I'm past 50 now and I just want to leave people alone and be left alone in return.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 3:58 pm to Daygo85
You see through bullshite so much easier. By the time you hit 50, it takes a hell of a lot to impress you. I think we start regressing again at some point though.
This post was edited on 4/19/22 at 4:00 pm
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:00 pm to Daygo85
Jody has take all the happiness out of their lives.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:00 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
because everyone is always moving these days...either to another city, state, or upgrading in the same area. that's a big part of it IMO
This is part of it. Most of the guys I grew up with lived in the same house all of childhood and HS years. As young adults people move all over the country for work now.
I've never been a social butterfly but I have 4 people I've been friends with much of my life. One lives in Boston, another in Dallas, one in Phoenix and one about an hour from me.
I love him like a brother but the one that lives an hour away has a lot of problems and probably isn't someone I should be hanging out with much these days
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:00 pm to RogerTheShrubber
I actually love to play golf by myself occasionally. Listen to music (yeah, I'm that guy), no small talk, and I can play fast.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:01 pm to Daygo85
For me it’s about 50% busy with other shite and 50% don’t feel like it.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:01 pm to Daygo85
i'm tired of fixing everyone's else's shite, always the one being leaned one, and dagnabbit, stay off my friggin lawn!
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:01 pm to Daygo85
This definitely is true of me though part of it was beyond my control. I had a circle of really close friends but all but one of them are passed away now. These were guys I knew since childhood or early adulthood and those type of friends are hard to replace when you are older.
It leads to bourbon and thoughts of days gone by for me
It leads to bourbon and thoughts of days gone by for me
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:03 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
Well we live in a "frick you, I got mine" type of world. People care about themselves and selfishness makes healthy community impossible. Even if you get together with people it turns into people using and backstabbing each other or constantly trying to one-up one another on their houses, vacations, cars, etc.
Yes. I also think we're more diverse in a not-helpful way, which makes developing those bonds more difficult. The truth is that 50 years ago those best friend families were probably pretty alike. They weren't of different religions, races, political persuasions, etc.
They likely lived in a town where people went to one of 3 churches and worked at one of 10 places and the kids went to the same schools and they all voted more or less the same. Which means you're less likely to butt heads constantly over the things we now care about as a society and love to create drama with.
What's more, we now emphasize and tell the world those things every day through social media. So even if you're resolved to be best friends with folks who are different than you, it's harder because there is a reasonable chance those people will declare to the world how much they hate vegans/Christians/Republicans/Alabama fans all the time in a way you'd never use to hear and deal with.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:04 pm to Daygo85
Good topic.
I'm early 40s. I work a lot and the time I'm not working, I spend a lot of time with my kids and a lot of time volunteering with a couple of groups I help with.
A lot of my guy friends from high school and college are the same.
I've also found as I get older, I have less patience and less tolerance for BS.
As my kids older... they want and can do more on their own and with their friends... so I have a little more time. But I find myself more wanting to do things with other couples because... it's just easier. And those tend to be driven by the wives friendships. Because the wives tend to meet and get to know each other driven by the kids and their activities.
Also part of this is that I'm not really a hunter, or a fisher, or a camper. I play golf from time to time. But honestly my free time it's best spent drinking a beer or cooking or watching a game. I don't need others to do that. If others show up, awesome.
I'm early 40s. I work a lot and the time I'm not working, I spend a lot of time with my kids and a lot of time volunteering with a couple of groups I help with.
A lot of my guy friends from high school and college are the same.
I've also found as I get older, I have less patience and less tolerance for BS.
As my kids older... they want and can do more on their own and with their friends... so I have a little more time. But I find myself more wanting to do things with other couples because... it's just easier. And those tend to be driven by the wives friendships. Because the wives tend to meet and get to know each other driven by the kids and their activities.
Also part of this is that I'm not really a hunter, or a fisher, or a camper. I play golf from time to time. But honestly my free time it's best spent drinking a beer or cooking or watching a game. I don't need others to do that. If others show up, awesome.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:04 pm to Slippy
quote:
I actually love to play golf by myself occasionally.
Ive got to where I enjoy my time doing things alone more than with others. We spend most of our life waiting on others and compromising. Time alone starts to become premium. I still enjoy doing things with friends, but not really hanging out anymore.
This post was edited on 4/19/22 at 4:05 pm
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:11 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:I have a pretty similar situation. Handful of day one potnuhs but we’re scattered throughout the country. Cousins too.
4 people I've been friends with much of my life. One lives in Boston, another in Dallas, one in Phoenix and one about an hour from me.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:12 pm to Daygo85
The average man is going to work, coming home, and (hopefully) playing with their kids. Sprinkle in extended family time, and there is not much time left. Most men have a hobby, so there is not much time left in the week.
I'd love to be more social, but it requires friends WITH ALIGNING SCHEDULES. Those are more and more rare.
I'd love to be more social, but it requires friends WITH ALIGNING SCHEDULES. Those are more and more rare.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:16 pm to MintBerry Crunch
quote:
I’m fine sitting out by my fire pit by myself listening to music.
This right here is one of the best quotes in this thread. Because it shows both sides of the spectrum. Sitting by a fire pit listening to music is absolutely awesome. But if that is what you find most enjoyable in life it is extremely sad.
And yes, solitude is probably a better word than solidarity. :-)
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:16 pm to Daygo85
Some of its less free time, with family, job, volunteer stuff I rarely have free/unplanned time.
That said, in my 40s in some ways I'm more social since I can now afford to travel and go out more, its just different times and different places. I love meeting new people when I travel, and also hanging with friends. However, its much more measured, a drink or two here, sometimes dinner, maybe a concert, and mostly daytime as I'm rarely out past 9 or 10 these days. That said, I do have less patience when I'm "out" and not having a good time, I will leave with a quickness these days.
To summarize, I enjoy being social, but I'm also not looking for new life friends either.
That said, in my 40s in some ways I'm more social since I can now afford to travel and go out more, its just different times and different places. I love meeting new people when I travel, and also hanging with friends. However, its much more measured, a drink or two here, sometimes dinner, maybe a concert, and mostly daytime as I'm rarely out past 9 or 10 these days. That said, I do have less patience when I'm "out" and not having a good time, I will leave with a quickness these days.
To summarize, I enjoy being social, but I'm also not looking for new life friends either.
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:16 pm to Legion of Doom
quote:
I confess. I’m about to turn 53 and I get more cranky as the years go by.
Same here
Posted on 4/19/22 at 4:17 pm to Daygo85
shite I thought it was just me
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