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Started By
Message
The Concept of Love?
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:53 pm
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:53 pm
After not dating for awhile I decided to start dating again about 6 months ago. I've had some success here and there getting dates but nothing has really come out of it.
The reason I bring this up, does anyone here love the concept of love more so than actually loving someone? I say this because doing the whole online dating thing, I'll find a woman I find attractive and somewhat like, start talking to them and maybe (which is probably foolish) start to build an image of that woman. Then when it actually gets to the date that image is completely wrong. More often than not I have found myself being bored with these women or just not being able to see myself actually being this woman. Or maybe I'm somewhat interested but have a hard time seeing this woman actually fitting into my life or me fitting into hers. I haven't made it past a second date with any woman I have dated since I have started dating again.
Is it maybe to the point where I love the idea of love more than actually loving someone? Or that I've become so used to being single and largely able to do anything I want that subconsciously it's hard for me to truly want a woman knowing that I would give some of that freedom up? I'm truly trying to figure out what's wrong with me in terms of dating.
The reason I bring this up, does anyone here love the concept of love more so than actually loving someone? I say this because doing the whole online dating thing, I'll find a woman I find attractive and somewhat like, start talking to them and maybe (which is probably foolish) start to build an image of that woman. Then when it actually gets to the date that image is completely wrong. More often than not I have found myself being bored with these women or just not being able to see myself actually being this woman. Or maybe I'm somewhat interested but have a hard time seeing this woman actually fitting into my life or me fitting into hers. I haven't made it past a second date with any woman I have dated since I have started dating again.
Is it maybe to the point where I love the idea of love more than actually loving someone? Or that I've become so used to being single and largely able to do anything I want that subconsciously it's hard for me to truly want a woman knowing that I would give some of that freedom up? I'm truly trying to figure out what's wrong with me in terms of dating.
This post was edited on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm
24
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm to CoastalSaint
Perhaps you are dating the wrong gender.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm to CoastalSaint
You ugly or just can’t frick
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm to CoastalSaint
TLDR..
Dear Facebook...
Dear Facebook...
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm to CoastalSaint
How old are you? Have you had any long term relationships or been in love before? If so, what happened?
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:56 pm to CoastalSaint
Dear Facebook...
Posted on 9/19/19 at 8:57 pm to CoastalSaint
quote:
Or that I've become so used to being single and largely able to do anything I want that subconsciously it's hard for me to truly want a woman knowing that I would give some of that freedom up?
It's this. But when the right one comes along, the tradeoff of freedom will be worth it.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:03 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
How old are you? Have you had any long term relationships or been in love before? If so, what happened?
I'm 35. I've had 2 relationships in my life that last a few months but never truly anything long term. For a long time I wasn't even interested in relationships, I wanted to live the single life. In my 30s now I've realized that while there is freedom to that there is also a hollowness to that experience.
The problem is I feel like maybe I've entered the game too late. That I really am not very experienced when it comes to love and dating and maybe don't understand what I truly want. But the thing is I like the concept of loving someone, the concept of being in a relationship, waking up to a woman next to me.
A good example, I just went on a date tonight. By the woman's profile I though she was very attractive and in terms of our messages I thought we would have some chemistry. The date itself wasn't bad but it wasn't what I had hoped it would be. She's a big time extrovert and likes to always be active and hosting/going to events and me being an introvert I have no problems going hours or even a day without seeing another person. I can easily be okay just being by myself whereas she commented that would drive her crazy.
I'm still interested in her but I imagine it probably won't go anywhere. It just seems weird that I'll get excited about the potential of something but then every time I go on a date there's just no spark.
This post was edited on 9/19/19 at 9:04 pm
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:05 pm to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:07 pm to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:08 pm to CoastalSaint
You havent found the right girl. Pussy. Or subconciously,, you like being alone. Your call 
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:12 pm to CoastalSaint
You’re an independent man. You just need an equally independent woman to make it work.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:13 pm to CoastalSaint
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:14 pm to halleburton
quote:
You havent found the right girl. Pussy. Or subconciously,, you like being alone. Your call
That's probably the internal conflict. Subconsciously I probably do like being alone. With that said part of me is also scared of being alone. Especially when I've see a lot of my friends get hitched and slowly fade out of my life (being too busy to hang out or do stuff) and I know that once my parents are gone I really won't have anyone I'm particularly close to (outside of my sister, brother in law and nieces).
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:15 pm to TigerBR1111
quote:
You’re an independent man. You just need an equally independent woman to make it work.
How many women are there that are truly independent though? And if we're both that independent how would it work?
This post was edited on 9/19/19 at 9:19 pm
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:16 pm to TigerBR1111
This guy gets it ^^^.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:21 pm to TT9
Yeah, that some sage shite right there from someone that’s lived a while. I would say love is an emotion that takes a while, long after the first 5 years of lust in a relationship, and more like 10-20 years....
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:24 pm to CoastalSaint
It's a wild scene out there dating as an adult.
One thing you might want to add to your repertoire is eating arse.
One thing you might want to add to your repertoire is eating arse.
Posted on 9/19/19 at 9:26 pm to CoastalSaint
Are you lonely and ready for companionship?
If so, try to be a better companion.
If not, stay single and date casually.
Just know that part of living is building/planning for the future. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some of the now in order to get a better life in the future.
Picture yourself older. Are you okay with being alone in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s? No family. No passing on your traditions?
If so, try to be a better companion.
If not, stay single and date casually.
Just know that part of living is building/planning for the future. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some of the now in order to get a better life in the future.
Picture yourself older. Are you okay with being alone in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s? No family. No passing on your traditions?
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