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re: Being able to say goodbye before someone you love dies (Updated, my mom has passed away)
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:06 am to Will Cover
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:06 am to Will Cover
I was fortunate enough to be at the beside of both my parents passing. Horrible and beautiful but I am glad I was able to pray with them on theirway home. Its a powerful experience as a believer.
Godspeed Will.
Godspeed Will.
0
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:07 am to Will Cover
quote:
Being able to say goodbye before someone you love dies
Truth!
Time spent with those while they are still alive is way better than a lifetime of regret when they have passed and that opportunity is lost.
In death we used to have visitation at the house with the body (probably for closure of mourners) but that has been "sanitized" by modern funeral standards.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:09 am to Will Cover
quote:
My advice to anyone who has a strained relationship with their parents. Put whatever it is aside, and namely that can be our proud, and just go be with them. For whatever time they have left here on this earth. Unless there was physical, psychological, emotional, chemical, or sexual harm, chances are whatever the crux of the issue has been, is not worth it. The best we can do is forgive and find our peace.
I agree 100% from personal experience with my mom back in 2013. Time
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:10 am to Will Cover
quote:
I agree. Pain is the price we have to pay when we love something or someone so much.
Stephen Wilson Jr has a song title "Grief is Only Love (that's got no place to go)"
Incredibly poingnant song for what you are experiencing. Helped me during my mom's recent passing.
LINK
This post was edited on 6/26/25 at 8:13 am
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:12 am to dyslexiateechur
I'm sorry you're having to go through this Dementia is a horrible disease.
When my dad was in his final few weeks (not from dementia), it was always tough to leave each Sunday night to drive back home, not knowing if I'd get to see him again. But, I was able to always say goodbye and make sure he knew I loved him.
The hardest for me was when I lost my wife 10 months ago, and didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye, or all those other things I wished I had said or done for her. We had just arrived at Yellowstone National Park, first night of a 10-day dream vacation. Got checked into the hotel, got a bite to eat, then back to the room to go to bed, kissed goodnight, and she never woke up. Had some type of cardiac event during the night. Was in good health, so total surprise. It is devastating, and still is. So many regrets.
Praying for you as you go down this journey.
When my dad was in his final few weeks (not from dementia), it was always tough to leave each Sunday night to drive back home, not knowing if I'd get to see him again. But, I was able to always say goodbye and make sure he knew I loved him.
The hardest for me was when I lost my wife 10 months ago, and didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye, or all those other things I wished I had said or done for her. We had just arrived at Yellowstone National Park, first night of a 10-day dream vacation. Got checked into the hotel, got a bite to eat, then back to the room to go to bed, kissed goodnight, and she never woke up. Had some type of cardiac event during the night. Was in good health, so total surprise. It is devastating, and still is. So many regrets.
Praying for you as you go down this journey.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:16 am to Will Cover
quote:
I feel like this is a tremendous gift, not only for yourself (and in this case, me), but also the other person as well.
I agree.
My younger brother was in a bad car wreck where he broke his neck. He lasted 5 months in the ICU. The last few weeks I got to spend a lot of time with him and tell him how much I loved him.
He turned septic and we knew it wouldn't be long for him, he had lost so much weight. When I arrived on the day he passed, he was unconscious. He heard my voice talking to my mom, and he opened his eyes and looked at me and told me, "I am leaving, I love you, good bye". That is something that I will never get out of my memory.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:24 am to CootKilla
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:29 am to Will Cover
Great advice and well said.
Prayers for you and your family as you go through this difficult time.
Prayers for you and your family as you go through this difficult time.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:32 am to Will Cover
The one regret i have is not saving some of the voice mails or answering machine recording from my late Grandma. Would still be comforting to hear her voice again even though its been 10 yeas since she passed.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:33 am to CootKilla
quote:
When I arrived on the day he passed, he was unconscious. He heard my voice talking to my mom, and he opened his eyes and looked at me and told me, "I am leaving, I love you, good bye".
GD it's so powerful. Nothing in this world matters more than love. You're a lucky man to have experienced that.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:38 am to Will Cover
My mother passed in a car accident when I was 30. Not being able to say goodbye was tough as was the soul searching for how many more times I should have told her I loved her.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:45 am to FLObserver
quote:
The one regret i have is not saving some of the voice mails or answering machine recording from my late Grandma.
I kept some from my mom. I'll occasionally listen to her say "Love you, babe" when I need to hear from her.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:47 am to dyslexiateechur
Was announced earlier this month that the lead vocalist that co-wrote and sang that song for A-Ha has advanced Parkinson's disease.
Another terrible disease.
Alzheimer's
Parkinson's
ALS
God please spare me and my loved ones from any of these.
Another terrible disease.
Alzheimer's
Parkinson's
ALS
God please spare me and my loved ones from any of these.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 8:52 am to Will Cover
I’m sorry you are going through this and I pray for you. I lost my Dad suddenly when I was 25, right before Christmas. Then my Mom died a few years ago from cancer after being at home in hospice care. It was torture watching her suffer but I’m grateful I got to spend the last month of her life telling her everything I wanted. Death sucks no matter what. Prayers up to you and your family
Posted on 6/26/25 at 9:05 am to KK4LSU
Damn, best and worst 6th post ever.
Prayers for you KK
Prayers for you KK
Posted on 6/26/25 at 9:08 am to Will Cover
My dad had end stage dementia, and had a cranial bleed in June of 20, spent a year in hospice at home, unfortunately he didn’t know who any of his family was…
Worst year ever… He had a painless death in his sleep.
Worst year ever… He had a painless death in his sleep.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 9:12 am to Will Cover
My dad was on hospice for 6 wks before he passed away in his own bedroom. Lots of family and friends came to say goodbye and I spent many hours at his bedside. There was a lot of reminiscing and nothing was left unsaid. My mother was with with him as he took his last breath. As hard as it was to lose him, he lived a long, full life and it was just his time. It really was the ideal way to go on to the hereafter, for both him and us.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 9:45 am to Will Cover
Having lost my sister & then my Mom to dementia I've told both my boys that I won't go out this way. As the patient, I won't even know what's going on but more importantly I do not want to put my family thru this type of mental torture. Haven't figured out the "how" just yet but they know & accept my decision.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 10:24 am to Will Cover
quote:
being able to say what you want to say and how much that person means to you is truly something special,
Very true. I lost both of my brothers in a car crash back in '97. They didn't pass away in their sleep or in their bed. They didn't go without trauma. They didn't go peacefully. I never got to visit. I never got to say I love you and whatever else I would have wanted to say.
Losing a loved one, no matter how they go, will still sting, because the loss is final & permanent. But having the opportunity to say whatever you want/need to say, can be a beautiful experience and will accelerate closure in the long run.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 10:41 am to Will Cover
Man, thats tough. My advice is to mentally prepare yourself for the end. Remember the way she lived, and not her current condition.
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