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Posted on 3/2/22 at 9:43 am to tide06
Well said. I think he needs to do everything possible to get his kid to safety. If he doesn't, and something happens, he will be haunted for the rest of his life over what he could've done. Living with that kind of regret is far worse than dying for doing the right thing.
This post was edited on 3/2/22 at 9:44 am
Posted on 3/2/22 at 10:26 am to N2daWild
Thanks for the update.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 11:11 am to N2daWild
Thanks for the updates. I stand by my statement that i believe your second-hand accounts at least as much as the mainstream news. Some guy tried to say that’s stupid and let the “professionals” tell us the news, but a lot of the videos on CNN/Fox/BBC have proven to be fake. Keep giving us the view from the ground and good luck getting them out.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 11:46 am to Bullfrog
I update this because I know there are people who care and want to know what is going on. I don't update this thread to be beat down. I am beat down enough.
Leaving now would be more dangerous for my wife and child than them staying where they are. Her parents are both physicians in Lisichansk and are still working. They have not heard of any civilian deaths in her city. The flea market outside her apartment building is open every morning, with bombs going off in the background. Right now they are fairly safe and lets hope it stays that way.
Have any of you had to make a decision to leave for a hurricane or not? Locals are less likely to leave. You sit in horrendous traffic, lines at the gas station, can't find a hotel, you have pets your house gets looted while you are gone. If you stay you could die. While you are making this decision you don't even know if the hurricane will hit where you are or not.
Every single person she knew was telling her that the hurricane would not hit. I myself was pretty convinced that Putin was bluffing. Putin was certainly stalling and I don't think he wanted to invade. We made our choice and we were wrong. Judge away.
We all make difficult decisions in life. She was told by many people she was crazy for leaving her country and job as a pediatrician in Ukraine to marry a foreigner she only met in person three times.
She was advised by her parents, who are both physicians, not to do IVF in 2020. I have a beautiful healthy daughter now.
My wife went to Ukraine to see her son and parents, get dental work done, get our daughter dual citizenship, do a second IVF and purchase a summer home in Ukraine. She wasn't going to let the possibility of a war stop her, especially when everyone was telling her it wasn't true.
Russia invaded on a Thursday. Monday my wife was on the phone with the IVF center in Kiev to see if they were still open. Amazingly they still were. She still intends to carry through with her plans. At this point I can convince her to leave for a few months and return when it is safer, but she is basically trapped right now.
If she can't leave my thoughts right now are to get to them. Logically speaking there is a much greater chance of making things worse for them by trying to get there. It just so happens that my emotions are more taking over my thought process right now than logic and I want to be there with them.
Its a message board, I get it. People are going to have opinions and make judgements. If you want to tell everyone and myself my wife is crazy, we are idiots, I'm not a man, I'm not father or she is not a mother. I am so proud of you for being better than I can ever be...... Good for you.
Leaving now would be more dangerous for my wife and child than them staying where they are. Her parents are both physicians in Lisichansk and are still working. They have not heard of any civilian deaths in her city. The flea market outside her apartment building is open every morning, with bombs going off in the background. Right now they are fairly safe and lets hope it stays that way.
Have any of you had to make a decision to leave for a hurricane or not? Locals are less likely to leave. You sit in horrendous traffic, lines at the gas station, can't find a hotel, you have pets your house gets looted while you are gone. If you stay you could die. While you are making this decision you don't even know if the hurricane will hit where you are or not.
Every single person she knew was telling her that the hurricane would not hit. I myself was pretty convinced that Putin was bluffing. Putin was certainly stalling and I don't think he wanted to invade. We made our choice and we were wrong. Judge away.
We all make difficult decisions in life. She was told by many people she was crazy for leaving her country and job as a pediatrician in Ukraine to marry a foreigner she only met in person three times.
She was advised by her parents, who are both physicians, not to do IVF in 2020. I have a beautiful healthy daughter now.
My wife went to Ukraine to see her son and parents, get dental work done, get our daughter dual citizenship, do a second IVF and purchase a summer home in Ukraine. She wasn't going to let the possibility of a war stop her, especially when everyone was telling her it wasn't true.
Russia invaded on a Thursday. Monday my wife was on the phone with the IVF center in Kiev to see if they were still open. Amazingly they still were. She still intends to carry through with her plans. At this point I can convince her to leave for a few months and return when it is safer, but she is basically trapped right now.
If she can't leave my thoughts right now are to get to them. Logically speaking there is a much greater chance of making things worse for them by trying to get there. It just so happens that my emotions are more taking over my thought process right now than logic and I want to be there with them.
Its a message board, I get it. People are going to have opinions and make judgements. If you want to tell everyone and myself my wife is crazy, we are idiots, I'm not a man, I'm not father or she is not a mother. I am so proud of you for being better than I can ever be...... Good for you.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 12:44 pm to N2daWild
quote:
I am so proud of you for being better than I can ever be...... Good for you
You have children who need your help.
Your wife is putting them at risk of death and her opinion in the situation should be of little consequence to you as a father unless the children are not your legal wards.
I’m not castigating you for fun, I’m trying to get your attention so that I can help you help them. If you want my help let me know.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 12:50 pm to N2daWild
Honestly I probably would have stayed as well. Hoping the best for you and your family. Keep us updated if you can.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 1:08 pm to tide06
If you think you can help me get there. Rseeling31@yahoo.com
Posted on 3/2/22 at 1:48 pm to N2daWild
You and your wife are solely responsible for the decisions you make for your family and there's far too much nuance behind those decisions to communicate it accurately here. I'm sorry for the added strife the hindsight critics add to your situation.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 2:04 pm to N2daWild
Trying to keep up. Where are you currently? I don’t see any way you could get back into the country to get them and it sounds like they aren’t able to get out to a safe area either. You would have to pay some ex military to get you in somehow.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 2:51 pm to Clark W Griswold
Thanks to all of you for the support.
Getting back to them will not be easy. What country do I enter from? Poland is a long way to Lisichansk. Moldova would be closer if Putin doesn't go there as well. Where are the road blocks, down bridges, Russian troops? Where do I sleep, in the street in the snow? What supplies or money do I bring? Do I help my family by getting killed or arrested by Russian troops? Even if I make it to them, I can't get them out without putting them in more danger.
Apparently there are crazy taxi drivers willing to go for the right amount of money. I can get as close as I can by train or bus and then taxi from there. I will have to go get my visa first.
I should have stayed there. However, we would have been out of money in a week and unfortunately my heart is not good. I have some serious medical test this month to do. I have to get the results to my lawyers to apply for my early retirement. I have to make a loan. Not to mention I would be there illegally without a visa after 90 days. Many reasons for me to leave but now that Putin has invaded, I wish I would have made a different choice and stayed. I'm sure my wife wishes she would have left, but she's not looking to get out at this point. She has been through this before, she will wait it out and make a decision when the bombing stops.
Getting back to them will not be easy. What country do I enter from? Poland is a long way to Lisichansk. Moldova would be closer if Putin doesn't go there as well. Where are the road blocks, down bridges, Russian troops? Where do I sleep, in the street in the snow? What supplies or money do I bring? Do I help my family by getting killed or arrested by Russian troops? Even if I make it to them, I can't get them out without putting them in more danger.
Apparently there are crazy taxi drivers willing to go for the right amount of money. I can get as close as I can by train or bus and then taxi from there. I will have to go get my visa first.
I should have stayed there. However, we would have been out of money in a week and unfortunately my heart is not good. I have some serious medical test this month to do. I have to get the results to my lawyers to apply for my early retirement. I have to make a loan. Not to mention I would be there illegally without a visa after 90 days. Many reasons for me to leave but now that Putin has invaded, I wish I would have made a different choice and stayed. I'm sure my wife wishes she would have left, but she's not looking to get out at this point. She has been through this before, she will wait it out and make a decision when the bombing stops.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 2:53 pm to N2daWild
Don't overthink it and go through Poland.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 2:57 pm to Clark W Griswold
Sorry for piling on, but this situation turned into an even worse one because of poor decisions made by you and your wife. Regardless of what people there thought, there was enough of a threat of an invasion to get out. If it turned out to be nothing, you still had the peace of mind of knowing you kept your family safe.
The wife should have had two options. Leave with you and the kid, or stay behind while you took the kid. Option C, of you leaving and leaving them behind shouldn't have been on the table.
Now you are stuck in a worst case scenario spot where you are trying to pull off a dangerous, and maybe nearly impossible task, of trying to get back to them. All of that could have been avoided. I could never live with myself if something bad were to happen.
Sorry if that's harsh, and I know it's a stressful situation, but it could have been avoided and multiple people gave you that advice before it was too late.
The wife should have had two options. Leave with you and the kid, or stay behind while you took the kid. Option C, of you leaving and leaving them behind shouldn't have been on the table.
Now you are stuck in a worst case scenario spot where you are trying to pull off a dangerous, and maybe nearly impossible task, of trying to get back to them. All of that could have been avoided. I could never live with myself if something bad were to happen.
Sorry if that's harsh, and I know it's a stressful situation, but it could have been avoided and multiple people gave you that advice before it was too late.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:06 pm to tide06
quote:
You failed in your choice to marry and have children with a self absorbed narcissist willing to put her entire family in serious and imminent harm to serve her own selfish wants that could be met in most of the western world, or even other safer parts of her own country.
You then failed as a father by not removing your child (or children) by whatever means necessary from the situation your wife has put them in.
Your willingness to post this with no shame, as if you are the arbiter of truth in this scenario probably closes you off from the ability to see how truly self absorbed it is for you to post this.
I can't even begin to think that I could know enough about someone's situation on the other side of the globe and be able to make rational decisions, all while acting like I'm righteous for the sake of children.
I know you won't understand why, but this is a fricking disgusting post.
This post was edited on 3/2/22 at 3:07 pm
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:13 pm to N2daWild
I wish you all the best but wow I don’t see how you can make it to Lisichansk safely. Your medical issues tell me you need to stay put. Sending prayers to all the good people of Ukraine.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:15 pm to N2daWild
We can go to Poland or Romania and steal a Cessna or bush plane and I’ll fly you in to get them.
Does your wife have a hot sister?
Does your wife have a hot sister?
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:16 pm to Odysseus32
There are a ton of arm chair QBs posting here, kinda of sad.
We should look in the mirror when we choose to judge other people.
N2daWild and his family's fate are in God's hand now, let us all hope they are reunited soon.
We should look in the mirror when we choose to judge other people.
N2daWild and his family's fate are in God's hand now, let us all hope they are reunited soon.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:29 pm to N2daWild
quote:
but at what price?
I understand why you feel the way you do. Your family is in the middle of it and I can't even begin to understand what that must be like, but its at the price of freedom.
Freedom that Ukraine gave up nuclear weapons to have and is now being attacked to have it taken away from them.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:32 pm to N2daWild
quote:
Russia invaded on a Thursday. Monday my wife was on the phone with the IVF center in Kiev to see if they were still open. Amazingly they still were. She still intends to carry through with her plans. At this point I can convince her to leave for a few months and return when it is safer, but she is basically trapped right now.
If she can't leave my thoughts right now are to get to them. Logically speaking there is a much greater chance of making things worse for them by trying to get there. It just so happens that my emotions are more taking over my thought process right now than logic and I want to be there with them.
Its a message board, I get it. People are going to have opinions and make judgements. If you want to tell everyone and myself my wife is crazy, we are idiots, I'm not a man, I'm not father or she is not a mother. I am so proud of you for being better than I can ever be...... Good for you.
We all have reasons for doing the things we do. Don't let anyone hiding behind anonymity make you feel bad about your life choices pertaining to a situation so incredibly complicated.
Good luck, I hope you all make it out/in safe.
Posted on 3/2/22 at 3:37 pm to DarthRebel
quote:
N2daWild and his family's fate are in God's hand now,
I realize he works in mysterious ways- but im wondering why god allowed there to be war at all between Russia and Ukraine, with hundreds or thousands already now dead.. No snark, im genuinely curious as to ur philosophy on this .
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