Domain: tiger-web1.srvr.media3.us Should I leave Ukraine? | Page 51 | O-T Lounge
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re: Should I leave Ukraine?

Posted on 4/10/22 at 9:13 pm to
Posted by Crow Pie
Neuro ICU - Tulane Med Center
Member since Feb 2010
27325 posts
Posted on 4/10/22 at 9:13 pm to
glad your family is safe...wasn't sure it would turn out so good for them.
Posted by Hold That Tiger 10
Member since Oct 2013
25022 posts
Posted on 4/10/22 at 9:32 pm to
I know I questioned a lot of your decisions, but ultimately I'm really glad that everybody is safe and doing well. I'm sure you can't wait for April 21st.

Hopefully her father makes it out ok. Being a doctor and sticking around to try to care for his countryman is very noble though. He is a hero regardless of any outcome.
Posted by TheFonz
Somewhere in Louisiana
Member since Jul 2016
23014 posts
Posted on 4/10/22 at 9:45 pm to
I am glad they made it to Switzerland safe and sound.

Your stepson will be okay...once he is here in the United States between his accent and kick-arse story the girls will be climbing all over him

I am sorry to hear about the circumstances surrounding your father-in-law. I’m sure he felt it was his duty to stay and help as many people as he can. As a doctor, the Russians may consider him useful and leave him alone, and he’ll come out of the other side of this safe.
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/11/22 at 4:10 am to
quote:

My bad. I apologize .


I appreciate the post and respect you a lot for it.
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/11/22 at 4:40 am to
quote:

it'd be optimal to get them on this side of the Atlantic



UPDATE 4/11/22

I agree. Switzerland will be fine if this is just a short stay but if this permanent, I'm not so sure. Ideally we get them to the US. Right now there are 2000 Ukrainians sleeping in Mexico in tents waiting for Biden to decide how he is going to accept the 100,000 refugees he promised to accept. Most of them are not looking for government assistance, they have relatives in the US and just want to go live with their relatives.

My understanding is Biden could let them in under humanitarian parole, in which case their stay is considered temporary until the war is over. The other option is priority 2 where they can stay permanently. This is what they opened up for the Afghanistans.

I could get her son for sure and maybe her parents as well through the normal visa process. The problem is it is about $1000 a person, its complicated and it takes over a year. I don't want to start that process if Biden is going to open a cheap, easy, expedited process. So I'm just going to wait a little bit.

If they do wind up waiting for over a year to get here. I would rather them wait in Canada. They could practice their English, instead of Stein-German. They would be closer to visit, etc.

Lisa told me yesterday that she is going to pursue a visa to Canada for her family. If she does get approved, I can help her find a host family on the website I mentioned. Some of the host families offered to help find a job for them. Then perhaps Natalie and Ilya would be more tempted to join them in Canada. Hopefully Slava as well.

The roulette wheel is kind of spinning right now and I'm not sure where anyone is going to land, including myself.

I checked on everyone and it seems good for most of them. Ilya's father in Kiev is doing okay along with Anna's sister, Luba. Anna and Mischa are staying close to the Slovakian border in Ukraine. Luda, my neighbor at my apartment, is staying with her father in the Russian occupied area of Luhansk. She says it is safe and there is no bombing there. I hope it stays that way for her, but I'm not convinced. If the Ukrainian army is successful against Russia and Russia leaves Ukraine, they will probably push forward and take the area previously held by the separatist and end there ongoing civil war. This would put Luda in the crosshairs. We shall see.

So I have Anna's husband Genna who stayed behind in Kharkiv to protect his home from looters and of course Slava to worry about. I will keep posting about them.

Thanks again for all the well wishes. My wife and her family are going to meet the church today that helped them get out of Poland and into a really good home.
This post was edited on 4/11/22 at 6:19 am
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/14/22 at 8:55 am to
UPDATE 4/14/22

Nothing too exciting to report but I have a couple of stories that show the human side of this war.

A few years back I spent a week by the Azoz sea next to Mariupol with my wife's family including Lisa's family and Anna's family. I brought an American football and was teaching my wife's son Ilya how to throw. We were in the street and talking in English and the old ladies started whispering to each other. An American in certain parts of Ukraine is a rarity. One of the old ladies, Sveta, approached me and asked me to mail a bottle of alcohol to her granddaughter's husband in Iowa and offered me too much money, which I declined. We became friends, I helped in her garden and we ate mulberries from her tree. She would hug me and cry saying I reminded her of her son who had passed. My wife has since become fiends with her granddaughter, Olga in Iowa. The wife told me today that Sveta's apartment in Mariupol along with her daughter's apartment have been destroyed and that they were living in the cottage by the sea where we met. I hope they will be okay there but I am worried.

On my last visit to Ukraine a couple of months ago, I was having difficulties hooking up a television in our apartment my father-in-law had bought for us. Apparently all of the onscreen instructions were in Russian. A friend of her father walked through the snow to our apartment to come help us. He brought my daughter a stuffed tiger. Last week he tried to evacuate with his family but was unable to make it out. He then walked to my father-in-laws hospital where he has been staying ever since. My wife told me that the Ukrainian army has been supplying them with food and humanitarian aid.

The wife told me there is a city about 15 miles from Lisichansk where they have some friends. She said the Ukrainian army was evacuating everyone from this city because they are expecting it to come under heavy fire. I'm going to assume that is because the Ukrainian army has decided it would be a good place for a resistance.

As for the family, my wife said her mother is in shock and never wanted to leave Ukraine. Ilya has been acting out some today. My daughter is still sick but no fever last night. She was also due her one year old vaccines in March that she hasn't had yet. So we will have to get those done in Switzerland, which is a little complicated because every country has their own theory and schedule concerning vaccines.

The wife also told me that Ukrainians that evacuated to Russia are not having it easy. They are not getting any government assistance and are expected to find a job immediately.

Lisa is continuing to apply to Canada for visa. I'm back to bothering the state department for answers on how to get everyone I can to the US.

It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the justification for all of this. It really just doesn't seem to make much sense. I keep thinking about this Bible verse 1 John 5:19 - We know that we are children of God and that the world around us is under the control of the evil one.
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 10:17 am to
UPDATE 4/16/22

Nothing too exciting, which is a good thing. Lisa and her husband Gleb lived with Gleb's grandmother, Sima in Ukraine before they moved to Russia in 2014. Sima lived to 103 and could outdrink me, seriously. Sima was great to talk to about Soviet Union history. She was there when Russia starved millions of Ukrainians to death in the 1930's. She was given food because her father was connected with the communist party. Christianity was not accepted or allowed in her day.

I stayed in her home about a week a few years back. There was a outdoor marketplace around the corner I would go to just shop and explore some. That marketplace is now bombed and gone. Her neighbors house burned down the other night because of a bomb. I also learned with the weather warming, that many people open their windows when the bombing starts to keep them from being blown out.

Meanwhile at the wife's parent's house. The neighbor has been feeding her cats for her. It has now turned into a cat haven with all the cats that have been deserted coming there for food. There are about 30 cats now.

The wife seems to be coming out of survival mode and starting to talk realistic about the future for her family. Everything is uncertain at this point, but she is starting to accept that Ukraine might be there for herself and family.

She also listens to a lot of Russian propaganda, since that is the language easiest for her to understand. She tells me that Ukrainian soldiers are killing civilians. When I ask her why would they do that? She doesn't have an answer. She is aware that media and the government put out a lot of false information on all sides but it gives you a little insight on how easily people are manipulated.

This is a little off topic, but for the first time today I can see a scenario where this war would go nuclear. I'm reading how some of the banks in Russia are defaulting, Sweden and Finland will probably join NATO and if things continue to go bad on the battlefield, Putin could become quite desperate. He will blame this all on NATO and it could become a choice between accepting defeat or going nuclear. I'm not a "what if" type of guy, so I'm not jumping on the doomsday wagon. I'm just saying for the first time, I'm starting to see a scenario of that happening.

I don't want to leave on a negative note, so in five more days I will be on that big jet headed to Switzerland. Does anyone have gift ideas for Rita, their host and her mother Natalie? They are both in their 60's.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
55724 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 11:18 am to
Thanks for the update and sharing. It gives us a glimpse into something we can not even begin to understand.
I don't have an idea for gifts but certainly bring something. Hopefully someone here has a good idea.
Posted by lsulaker
BR
Member since Jan 2009
1460 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 11:23 am to
Im not so good with present ideas but I do really appreciate your updates and knowing that your immediate family is safe. Im praying for you along with everyone in Ukraine. As husbands, it is our job to stay strong and be strong leaders in these situations as it seems you are doing. Keep working all angles on how you can permanently reunite with your family and something will materialize.
Posted by jennBN
Member since Jun 2010
3246 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 11:37 am to
quote:

Point taken. I’m not sure how I landed on/found this post without realizing the time span. My bad. I apologize .


Sir, I believe you have taken a wrong turn and may be lost. On the OT we are not big enough people to admit fault, correct our mistakes and humbly apologize.
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 11:41 am to
I'm thankful to you guys. People caring and concerned about the suffering of others is a powerful tool. My parents were wiped down to a slab after hurricane Katrina. Volunteer groups would come down to help. Truthfully, there was little they could do besides a few immediate necessities but they lifted the spirits of a lot of victims, including my parents. That is more powerful than people realize.
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/16/22 at 12:03 pm to
quote:

As husbands, it is our job to stay strong and be strong leaders


I still beat myself up every day for leaving my family. I guess it was too easy to convince myself it would be alright. It was mistake and a bad choice but the fight isn't over. The future of not only my wife and daughter but of my wife's entire family could depend on what I am able to get accomplished. Besides visas, money and homes for everyone I need to get my father-n-law out of there.

I don't know what will be left in Lisichansk, but I still hope for a future there. We had plans to buy a summer home there this June and a home purchase could still happen at some point. I know my wife still wants the IVF procedure, but thoughts of adoption have gone through my head. If nothing else, I will be involved with an Ukrainian orphanage after this over.

It's not the time to lay down and hope for the best. It is a time for me to rise up and help people that can't help themselves. The kind words I have read on here, from many, help strengthen that resolve.
Posted by CoastLSUFan
Member since Nov 2010
749 posts
Posted on 4/18/22 at 10:56 am to
I enjoy reading your updates and look forward to the day when your family is back in the States. As far as gift ideas go, how about some Louisiana-grown pecans and some Louisiana-made chocolate turtles? Possibly a couple of jars of fig preserves? Cypress charcuterie boards?
This post was edited on 4/18/22 at 1:20 pm
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/18/22 at 1:15 pm to
Those are some good gift ideas, thank you.

Not much going on, so I haven't been posting. Nothing new from the state department. The situation with her son, Ilya and her parents are different. So I'm not sure if one solution will work for both as for visas. I have a little time, so we will see.

I would like to have something to offer her father, Slava to tempt him to leave. I read an article today telling civilians to vacate the Luhansk region and named Lisichansk as one of the five cities. He really needs to get out of there.
Posted by PhilipMarlowe
Member since Mar 2013
21816 posts
Posted on 4/19/22 at 5:15 am to
quote:

The wife also told me that Ukrainians that evacuated to Russia are not having it easy. They are not getting any government assistance and are expected to find a job immediately.


So glad your wife didn’t have to go this route. I remember it being floated earlier on as an option.
This post was edited on 4/22/22 at 2:00 am
Posted by Queen
Member since Nov 2009
3036 posts
Posted on 4/21/22 at 10:22 pm to
OP, the refugee program has been announced.

LINK

quote:

Ukrainians who are selected to travel to the U.S. under the initiative will be granted humanitarian parole, allowing them to bypass the visa and refugee programs, which typically take years to complete. While it does not offer permanent status, parole would allow Ukrainians to live and work in the U.S. for two years.


quote:

Once the sponsorship program opens for applications later this month, U.S. individuals or organizations seeking to sponsor Ukrainians overseas will need to file affidavits of financial support and undergo background checks. DHS will then determine whether they qualify to be sponsors. In order to be granted permission to travel to the U.S., Ukrainians will need to be first identified by their prospective sponsors, as they will not be able to apply for the program directly, administration officials said. Ukrainians will be eligible for the sponsorship initiative if they had resided in Ukraine as of February 11. If the sponsorship is approved, the Ukrainians identified by U.S. sponsors will need to undergo security screenings overseas to ensure they will not pose a security or public safety risk to the U.S. They will also be required to be vaccinated against communicable diseases.


Posted by Spankum
Miss-sippi
Member since Jan 2007
61304 posts
Posted on 4/21/22 at 10:34 pm to
You would have only been a liability if you had stayed…you are a hell of an asset here, though
Posted by N2daWild
Member since Jul 2019
11352 posts
Posted on 4/23/22 at 7:58 pm to
UPDATE 4/25/22

I arrived in Switzerland a couple of days ago and have been getting settled in. As you can imagine it is great being with the wife and baby again.

As far as my wife knows everyone in Ukraine is doing okay, including her father. My wife and her mother spend much of the day looking for news about the war. They both prefer to speak in Russian so much of the news they get in tainted with Russian propaganda. For example they believe the civilians hiding in the steel plant in Mariupol are being held there as a shield for the soldiers. I know there is propaganda going in both directions but some of it I find interesting.

They found a live news feed on youtube yesterday showing an apartment my wife and I stayed in when we first met in 2013. The apartment right next to where we stayed on the fourth floor was completely destroyed. It is odd to see a place where you lived breifly destroyed from the war.

My wife told me a few more details about miserable her trip out of Ukraine was. She even said that if her mother knew what was facing them to evacuate, she would not have left.

I will start from the beginning. My wife and I stayed in an apartment in Lisichansk when I was there. As soon as you walked out the door to the apartment entrance you would see another complex that was 9 stories high, compared to our 5 story complex. My wife said it was bombed and several people died, while she was still staying in our complex. She said the bombs were hitting close enough to shake her complex.

At the urging of her parents she went to stay with them. A week later a bomb blew up in their backyard, busting out their windows. With no heat and the tempatures in single digits they stayed with a neighbor. when they lost utilities there, they went to stay with her father at the maternity hospital.

They left by bus after a week at the hospital. The bus driver showed them the destruction along the way that came within 150 meters of hitting his bus a few days before. They slept the best they could on the bus that night.

They then arrived at a city that they could travel by train. They stayed in a refugee camp there for two nights before getting on a train to Lviv. Once in Lviv they were giving a couch for the four of them to share.
From there they traveled to Warsaw by bus and slept on the bus again. They paid to use a bigger bus that could store their baggage underneath.

They stayed in a big auditoreum in Warsaw for 2 nights where they all got sick. My daughter still has the sniffles. They had no idea where they would go from there. The plan they had to go to Germany fell through and at this point her mother just wanted to return home. They eventually heard about people signing up to go to Switzerland. They have been very fornuate to find a great host in home to stay in. It looks like Gatlinburn, Tn. here.

The only good thing about the journey was there was plenty of coffee and food along the way.

They have signed up to get government assistance here in Switzerland but haven't interviewed yet. Meanwhile Biden opened up a pathway to the US that I can start applying for on Monday, electronically. We will see how long that will take.

I mentioned the host is great. She is a 63 year old nurse with plenty of room for everyone. She is really sweet but hosting is probably a little different than what she imagined. It must be odd to have strangers in your home when you are used to living by yourself. For example sometimes my family will feed the dog something she doesn't want her dog eating. They are loud, which is considered rude in her culture. Maybe they don't recycle correctly, etc. It has to a big adjustment and sacrifice on her part.

I'm really grateful to this host as are my family and we do our best to fit in but it is a challenge sometimes. For now I think she is really happy to be able to help and it is quite interesting for her. I imagine at some point though it will be time to move on.

My wife is still in survivor mode but this had to take a toll on her. Living for weeks with bombs dropping daily around her and her two children. The difficult journey of evacuating. Now staying in a strange home while they scan the news constantly getting upset when they hear about bombing in a city of someone they know.
I can only imagine what is going on in her mother's head.

For myself, you guys are already aware of what I went through with my family there without me. With those worries gone, its hard to just not be grateful. It still breaks my heart so see and hear the stories on the news though. With all the death it is easy to overlook some things. I see a picture of an old lady crying because she lost her apartment. I know many of these old ladies live on $100 a month and everything they own is in that apartment. What happens to them now? I know there are many people unable to evacuate because they are elderly or handicapped. Even when this war ends and the world forgets about them, what life will they have?

I don't mean to end so gloomy. I have jet lag so everyone else is sleeping. I'm going to sneak my baby out of her crib and put her in bed with me. To all of you that have followed this thread, thank you again. I will post sporadically if something important comes up.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
71639 posts
Posted on 4/23/22 at 8:15 pm to
Damn man. Glad y’all are reunited. Rest well tonight.
Posted by jcaz
Laffy
Member since Aug 2014
19036 posts
Posted on 4/23/22 at 8:31 pm to
So glad this has worked out man. Hold your family tight. Slava Ukraine
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