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re: Do you have a separate checking account from the spouse?
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:01 am to lsu xman
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:01 am to lsu xman
I will give some advice here. I know it seems weird to have separate accounts. I will tell you right now the first thing that happens in a divorce if your wife decides on it will be to empty that checking acct. and put it a new one. That would be her lawyers advice.
Nothing wrong with having a joint acct. Then separate checking accts. I also have two savings accounts I use.
Nothing wrong with having a joint acct. Then separate checking accts. I also have two savings accounts I use.
2
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:01 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
You're both writing checks and using debit cards.
Is it 2005?
Who writes checks and uses debit cards?
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:03 am to lsu xman
Married 46 years and always had one account. I understand others that want to keep separate accounts and if it works for those folks, that's good. We just never felt the need to do it that way and it has never been a problem.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:03 am to theantiquetiger
quote:
Been married for almost twenty years, we have separate checking accts.
so you share your facebook account with both your names on it but you have separate checking accounts?
FTR, no separate checking accounts. I do have my own CCs tho.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:14 am to lsu xman
Separate accounts. We just split bills at the end of the month
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:15 am to Tvilletiger
quote:
I will give some advice here. I know it seems weird to have separate accounts. I will tell you right now the first thing that happens in a divorce if your wife decides on it will be to empty that checking acct. and put it a new one. That would be her lawyers advice.
It's thinking like this that I don't understand. Why are you thinking ahead to divorce? Divorce can happen, sure. But when you make money moves based on a worst case scenario how can you not, at least a tiny bit, see your spouse as an adversary?
We have the same checking account. She can buy what she wants, I can buy what I want. We have the same goals so it isn't an issue. But if we didn't have the same goals, it still wouldn't be an issue because we likely wouldn't have gotten married.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:16 am to Tvilletiger
quote:
I will tell you right now the first thing that happens in a divorce if your wife decides on it will be to empty that checking acct. and put it a new one. That would be her lawyers advice.
I keep a stash just for this reason.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:16 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:trashy
You're both writing checks and using debit cards.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:17 am to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
Of course I'm not a poor so that isn't an issue, but if money is tight it's better to have each of you be responsible for certain expenses so you can watch every dollar.
Do people not sit down once or twice a week to budget and allocate money?
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:20 am to Odysseus32
quote:
Do people not sit down once or twice a week to budget and allocate money?
No, I handle everything.
My wife couldn't even tell you which bills we pay
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:20 am to lsu xman
My wife and I both have small separate accounts and one big joint account.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:22 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
No, I handle everything.
My wife couldn't even tell you which bills we pay
The likelihood is that if there isn't a divorce, you're gonna die first. What is she going to do then?
I get it, it's like pulling teeth trying to get a spouse to be involved with the money management (especially if they aren't interested). But it is radically important that they, at the very least, understand which accounts are used for what and how to access those accounts.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:23 am to lsu xman
We have separate checkings accounts, but a joint account as well, which we pay for bills, groceries, and sometimes dates on.
But I like to have separate as well. That way, when she randomly decides she wants to spend $100 on a purse or shoes, or she wants to spend $200 on getting hair done. She can do that on her own accord, without having to ask permission.
But I like to have separate as well. That way, when she randomly decides she wants to spend $100 on a purse or shoes, or she wants to spend $200 on getting hair done. She can do that on her own accord, without having to ask permission.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:25 am to lsu xman
Joint account here. No money arguments since we’ve been married. It just makes things easier
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:26 am to lsu xman
Yes. My wife and I married when we were both 40 and we each had assets prior so we just kept a lot of it separate. We do have some accounts and assets together too. It doesn't bother either one of us and has never really been an issue. She also has a business and I have a few. All separate.
We have only been together 4 years and married for a little over 2 so I am sure more of it will commingle over time naturally.
We have only been together 4 years and married for a little over 2 so I am sure more of it will commingle over time naturally.
This post was edited on 1/18/22 at 8:29 am
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:27 am to Sterling Archer
quote:
No money arguments
none here either, it's simple, I pay all of the bills and her money is her play money
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:27 am to Odysseus32
quote:
The likelihood is that if there isn't a divorce, you're gonna die first. What is she going to do then?
I get it, it's like pulling teeth trying to get a spouse to be involved with the money management (especially if they aren't interested). But it is radically important that they, at the very least, understand which accounts are used for what and how to access those accounts.
She has access to the accounts other than a checking account I have that I pay a vehicle note with that doesn't really have much money in it. If I drop dead today she'd probably be in a bind for a few months trying to figure everything out though.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:40 am to HouseMom
quote:
No big deal.
quote:
We have always had a joint checking
I get it. But it wasn’t a big deal to continue what we were doing. We didn’t “always” have a joint account.
When we met, she had an apartment and I had a house. She moved in and started paying the bills and I paid the mortgage. I started to pay all the bills bc it was easier since they were all in my name. She rather Venmo money instead of her paying each bill. Most were autopay in my name.
We got married and thought about joint accounts. But after thinking of going through the process of setting up a joint account, getting with work and changing both of our direct deposit to joint account, then pulling money out of that joint account so we can each have our own checking/savings for personal use, gift giving, surprises…we said frick it and keep it the same.
We started arguing about which bank to set up joint account. I wanted Chase bc everything I have is Chase. She had a bad experience with Chase and refused to bank with them. After two discussions and not being able to decide on a bank, we figured, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Posted on 1/18/22 at 8:49 am to Saskwatch
We do this and it works great. Even though I’m the sole breadwinner, money is auto drafted every month in separate accounts that can be spent on whatever we want without having to discuss. I don’t even know the balance of her “fun” account and she can spend it on whatever she wants without judgement.
Posted on 1/18/22 at 9:26 am to Loup
quote:THIS is how we've operated for 30 yrs of marriage and we've rarely if ever argued about money. We have our own 401K accounts + an IRA we both contribute to + investment accounts we both buy and sell stocks, etc. Large expenses are discussed.
Yes and no. We have joint savings and investment accounts that we both agreed to contribute a certain percentage of our take home income in to. We also have a joint checking account that bills are paid out of that we both contribute 50/50 to. Other than that our money is our own money. We each have separate checking and savings accounts that are our own to do whatever the hell we want with.
ETA: we both come home with random dumb shite (guns, make up, furniture, deer stands, clothing) that makes the other raise an eyebrow but their has never been an argument about it since ultimately we are meeting all of our savings goals so ultimately we don't really care.
If I want to spend a few hundred and the liquor store to drop a grand on poker night then I don't want her saying shite about it. If she wants to buy the kids or herself something she doesn't want me saying shite about it.
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