Domain: tiger-web1.srvr.media3.us Divorce is brutal. | Page 13 | O-T Lounge
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re: Divorce is brutal.

Posted on 8/25/20 at 6:59 pm to
Posted by mtnhighTiger
Scottsdale, AZ
Member since Jan 2010
4453 posts
Posted on 8/25/20 at 6:59 pm to
quote:

It's been almost three weeks and every day is worse lol. It simply does not get better.



It will. I promise. Start a disciplined routine. Go to bed at the same time each night. Get up, work out, maybe go for a run. Just work on some type of activity to take your mind off of it. Go to work and maybe jump into some kind of hobby. Trust me, doing things to take your mind off of it really helps and helps you grow.

One day you will wake up and everything you started with become second nature and you won't even think about it.

Things you cannot do...wallow in self pity, but if you need to lock yourself into a dark room and cry it out...do it. Don't hold that shite in. Don't be down on yourself. Don't crawl into a bottle. Most of us have been exactly where you are and we're speaking from experience...it sucks but trust me...it WILL get better.
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
45016 posts
Posted on 8/25/20 at 7:06 pm to
quote:

frick Dat. I could forgive the woman, they are all trifling....but the man, no, no, no hell no.
If you’re sick of the bitch, he’s pretty much doing you a favor.
Posted by NeonSunburst
Member since Oct 2010
2877 posts
Posted on 8/25/20 at 7:12 pm to
I'll never, ever marry again. Imo, true love only occurs between a parent and their child(ren) and vice versa anyhow.

Posted by go ta hell ole miss
Member since Jan 2007
14599 posts
Posted on 8/26/20 at 8:18 am to
quote:

over half out bank account.


It could have been worse.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10713 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 12:05 am to
quote:

I joined a Men’s small group at church
Thank you for mentioning this. It encouraged me to join one for women.
Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31395 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 12:07 am to
Yep, definitely sucks for sure.
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
38451 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 12:30 am to
quote:

It will. I promise. Start a disciplined routine. Go to bed at the same time each night. Get up, work out, maybe go for a run. Just work on some type of activity to take your mind off of it. Go to work and maybe jump into some kind of hobby. Trust me, doing things to take your mind off of it really helps and helps you grow. One day you will wake up and everything you started with become second nature and you won't even think about it. Things you cannot do...wallow in self pity, but if you need to lock yourself into a dark room and cry it out...do it. Don't hold that shite in. Don't be down on yourself. Don't crawl into a bottle. Most of us have been exactly where you are and we're speaking from experience...it sucks but trust me...it WILL get better.


Bottom line: jump into some poon.
Posted by MSUDawg98
Bear the F Down
Member since Jan 2018
12503 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 12:55 am to
I was told last weekend by my wife that she had thought about splitting one the kids left the nest but now sees us staying together. Try trying to reconcile that in your head after hearing it. Water torture.
Posted by OBReb6
Memphissippi
Member since Jul 2010
41553 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 1:40 am to
Hope some of you older guys in here are right. Been just over a year for me and I am not over it, and no kids were involved. But I was left with nothing and I loved her.

Dark times, I hope there’s not much out there in life that is worse.
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
137802 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 6:58 am to
quote:

Hope some of you older guys in here are right. Been just over a year for me and I am not over it, and no kids were involved. But I was left with nothing and I loved her.

Dark times, I hope there’s not much out there in life that is worse.


This was my situation. No kids, but I took my vows seriously and loved my wife, even though she had been unfaithful.

For me, it was about a year and a half before I started to feel normal again (I moved, which helped), and then at about the 2 year mark, I met another lady and we have now been married for 22 years, so it does get better.
Posted by rd280z
Richmond
Member since Jan 2007
2479 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:06 am to
It's the gift that keeps on giving too.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
20727 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:08 am to
quote:

I was told last weekend by my wife that she had thought about splitting one the kids left the nest but now sees us staying together. Try trying to reconcile that in your head after hearing it. Water torture.



Would you say she gave you the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” speech?

If so, that’s not a relationship worth saving. She’s keeping you around because you provide enough stability and security to her life.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
106981 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:24 am to
quote:

Hope some of you older guys in here are right. Been just over a year for me and I am not over it, and no kids were involved. But I was left with nothing and I loved her.

Dark times, I hope there’s not much out there in life that is worse.


My current SO is a divorcee. They were married for 9.5 years and he has partial custody of her daughter he helped raised for most of her life (she's now 12). We've now been together for almost three years and are pretty happy. I came out of a long-term relationship that's probably been longer than some marriages.

My best advice is to do things you wouldn't have done with your ex. Have that road trip she didn't want to go on? Go do it. Just have a good time and enjoy being untethered. Do the things you wanted to do while married but couldn't. Reconcile that the relationship is over but you're still vertical and still capable. The hurt will heal with time. And if you feel like its too much of a struggle, it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone either. Grief isn't just for the death of a loved one. We grieve the ending of all kinds of things, relationships in particular.
Posted by BobABooey
Parts Unknown
Member since Oct 2004
16017 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:26 am to
quote:

Been just over a year for me and I am not over it,

You need to be clear that you are the only one who is responsible for how you’re feeling now. Whatever she did before she left is on her; now you control your thoughts and actions.

Get therapy, get active, get involved in something - whatever it takes. She’ll always be a part of your life story but don’t waste time dwelling on her. It’s like you’re poisoning yourself to get back at her or something.
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
61088 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:44 am to
quote:

I was told last weekend by my wife that she had thought about splitting one the kids left the nest but now sees us staying together. Try trying to reconcile that in your head after hearing it. Water torture.


You arent a puppy. Either fix your problem, or demand she fix hers and love you unconditionally.
Posted by NorthEnd
Member since Oct 2007
2201 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:48 am to
So your liberal, feminist wife with whom you argued often left you and you're sad? This is a springboard man. A gift. Feminists are miserable people to be around.
Posted by 50_Tiger
Arlington TX
Member since Jan 2016
43322 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:50 am to
quote:

She up and left one day when I wasn’t home and took the furniture, kids and over half out bank account


And my fear of marriage is further entrenched in my brain.
Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
40073 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:50 am to
quote:

or demand she fix hers and love you unconditionally.


Yeah, that ain’t going to work.

quote:

fix your problems


But this will.
Posted by Tempratt
Member since Oct 2013
15035 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 7:54 am to
quote:

I hope your lawyer fricks her over hard.


If he ends up with a female activist judge, he'll still get sodomized.
This post was edited on 9/23/20 at 7:56 am
Posted by Kentucker
Rabbit Hash, KY
Member since Apr 2013
20055 posts
Posted on 9/23/20 at 8:03 am to
Why do people marry? There’s a 60% chance it’ll end in divorce. Bad odds.
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