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re: Dealing with Teenage daughters
Posted on 5/29/24 at 6:40 am to BluegrassCardinal
Posted on 5/29/24 at 6:40 am to BluegrassCardinal
I raised three ... two now in their 40s, my youngest daughter is 38.
The two oldest are very successful attorneys living in Sacramento and Portland respectively. My youngest is a Phd in Psychology working for Deloitte in Charlotte.
It was no fun when they were in their teens ... or even when they were in college.
My Son is 25. My youngest Daughter and my Son are my favorites. And my teenage grandaughters are perfect ... they love their PawPaw.
The two oldest are very successful attorneys living in Sacramento and Portland respectively. My youngest is a Phd in Psychology working for Deloitte in Charlotte.
It was no fun when they were in their teens ... or even when they were in college.
My Son is 25. My youngest Daughter and my Son are my favorites. And my teenage grandaughters are perfect ... they love their PawPaw.
0
Posted on 5/29/24 at 6:41 am to BeldarConehead
Water is warm......not only did she hate me, told me that I hated her. You are lucky, I dealt with that off and on until she was 19. They grow out of it.
You really can't threaten them like you can boys. My boys knew where the stop sign was and they feared what they thought I might do but never did and would not do....and if they wanted, they could have taken me. 2 of them were D1 football players . Big tough smart pussycats. Their sister.....a relentless wildcat where NO was the beginning .
You really can't threaten them like you can boys. My boys knew where the stop sign was and they feared what they thought I might do but never did and would not do....and if they wanted, they could have taken me. 2 of them were D1 football players . Big tough smart pussycats. Their sister.....a relentless wildcat where NO was the beginning .
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:13 am to BluegrassCardinal
When I was in my 50's a younger, 35 yr. old guy, was telling me how great it was to have his two young daughters and how they looked at him and his wife like they were idolized. I told him to enjoy it now because there will come a time when he and his wife will be demonized by these very same girls.
Fast forward 15 years and he told me I was like Nostradamus to have predicted that. I told him I wasn't because that is how kids are when they hit those teenage years and their parents, or parental figures, suddenly become the stupidest, lamest, meanest people they know and they like to express it in any way they can--------usually meant to hurt feelings and get a big reaction out of you.
Good thing is, this usually passes as they do really mature into adults and things swing back into the proper perspective.
Fast forward 15 years and he told me I was like Nostradamus to have predicted that. I told him I wasn't because that is how kids are when they hit those teenage years and their parents, or parental figures, suddenly become the stupidest, lamest, meanest people they know and they like to express it in any way they can--------usually meant to hurt feelings and get a big reaction out of you.
Good thing is, this usually passes as they do really mature into adults and things swing back into the proper perspective.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:16 am to BluegrassCardinal
I have a 17 year old daughter. I’m sure she hates me too. It’s the age. They are rude and selfish. She hates me cuz I have rules. She will eventually grow out that phase and like you again. My 21 year old daughter and I are now friends. At 17 I was her parent and she didn’t like me much either.
This post was edited on 5/29/24 at 7:17 am
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:18 am to BluegrassCardinal
Just saw this. My experience I have a 25 year old daughter(no pics) and she is the middle child between my two sons. I remember having a full blown argument with her at 5 years old. Lol. My boys will back down never challenging me but daughter would say "but why?" after 5 mins of this I said ,"BECAUSE I AM YOUR DAD!" get to your room! 
Cut straight to the chase here we had some challenges with my daughter as a teenager but you are her parents and stick to your guns. They will get it when they hit their twenties or alittle bit later. Tell her you love her and why you did what you did also. Good luck
Cut straight to the chase here we had some challenges with my daughter as a teenager but you are her parents and stick to your guns. They will get it when they hit their twenties or alittle bit later. Tell her you love her and why you did what you did also. Good luck
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:23 am to BluegrassCardinal
Any parent who tries to be friends with their children instead of parenting them is making a monumental mistake.
We didn’t worry about friendship until they graduated from college. Sure the latitude given kids increases with age, but you’re still the parent. A 17 year old girl, high school graduate, should not be staying overnight in a coed sleepover. Same with a 17 year old boy. 11 curfew seems kind of early given the circumstances.
Bottom line, if they are sexually active at that age they need to be taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy. Remember Dad how you were when you were 17-18. Make sure your daughter doesn’t become someone’s trophy, and if you taught her right, she should be able to discern good from bad.
Good luck.
We didn’t worry about friendship until they graduated from college. Sure the latitude given kids increases with age, but you’re still the parent. A 17 year old girl, high school graduate, should not be staying overnight in a coed sleepover. Same with a 17 year old boy. 11 curfew seems kind of early given the circumstances.
Bottom line, if they are sexually active at that age they need to be taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy. Remember Dad how you were when you were 17-18. Make sure your daughter doesn’t become someone’s trophy, and if you taught her right, she should be able to discern good from bad.
Good luck.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:26 am to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
Great, my 17 year old daughter told me she hates me.
Totally normal. They're trying to figure it all out.
I got lucky, my daughter never butted heads with me the way she did her mom, but my son was another story. Boys in that stage are very tough for a dad to deal with, because you want to beat his arse like you would a grown man talking to you like that but you have to keep you head and remember he's you son. lol..
All I can say is stand your ground and be tough but loving and she'll come back to you and appreciate it.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:36 am to BluegrassCardinal
Havent read the comments...........but take that phone away YOU are paying for.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:36 am to BluegrassCardinal
shite if you made it to 17 without her telling you she hates you count your blessings.
Otherwise, love her, hold the line, and help her make good choices. She likely lashed out because she has no plan in life it sounds like. Help her finalize a path if it’s the Air Force get her signed up and working toward preparing for basic.
Get her working toward a goal.
Otherwise, love her, hold the line, and help her make good choices. She likely lashed out because she has no plan in life it sounds like. Help her finalize a path if it’s the Air Force get her signed up and working toward preparing for basic.
Get her working toward a goal.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:42 am to BluegrassCardinal
She got mouthy because you told her no and she is considering joining the Air Force? If she can't handle being told what she can or can't do, there are two places she wouldn't want to be. One is prison. The other is the military.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:42 am to Snipe
I’d always advise they call their father to say I love you dad the next morning, because I knew you guys needed it. You’re welcome
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:42 am to BluegrassCardinal
They come back to you later. If your teenage daughter doesn’t tell you she hates you at least one time, you let her get away with too much shite.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 7:49 am to BluegrassCardinal
LMOA. My two daughters are 23 and 25. From birth to 13 the were daddies girls. From 14 to 18, they were little bitches!!! Now I talk to both of them every day. Daddies girls again!
Posted on 5/29/24 at 8:22 am to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
my 17 year old daughter told me she hates me.
Girls are encouraged in this feminized culture to hate their fathers. It’s the cultural zeitgeist. And the thing is, they need their fathers more than anybody . Hang in there but also hold your ground.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 8:28 am to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
my 17 year old daughter told me she hates me.
Actually pretty impressive it took 17 years. My 3 year old girl hasn't said it, but only because she lacks the vocabulary. She's made the intention known. She's so much "meaner" than my son was at that age. And that's just for making her sleep in her bed. I fully expect much worse by the time she's a teen. Women are crazy.
This post was edited on 5/29/24 at 8:30 am
Posted on 5/29/24 at 8:33 am to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
I think this is going to be a long summer and we are gonna butt heads often. Any of you dads feel free to give advice.
Your job is not to be her friend or liked at times, its to direct her through the dangers of the world until her intellectual maturity reaches such a point that she understands those dangers. If you daughter say that, just tell you understand but you still love her and want to protect her.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 8:45 am to BluegrassCardinal
Been through 3 girls. Right now ages 23,20,18. 11 sounds unreasonably early for a high school grad. I would try and find a middle ground there considering her age and stage in life. (summer after high school graduation)
Be grateful you aren't in a split household where the other parent doesn't give a crap. Enforcing anything like this sends them to the other parent and there is nothing you can do unless they have a strong understanding of your intent and are unnaturally mature for their age. (1 of ours was, the other two may GOD have mercy on us)
Be grateful you aren't in a split household where the other parent doesn't give a crap. Enforcing anything like this sends them to the other parent and there is nothing you can do unless they have a strong understanding of your intent and are unnaturally mature for their age. (1 of ours was, the other two may GOD have mercy on us)
Posted on 5/29/24 at 9:09 am to smooth99
Both of my daughters went through a similar stage but it was after their first year in college.
We live in a vv small town and they were both very sheltered so once they got a taste of the world through the eyes of very liberal college experiences they both rebelled for a while.
Like everything else, it’s a season and they’ll come to their senses. OP just needs to hold fast to his/their family values and love them through their bs.
We live in a vv small town and they were both very sheltered so once they got a taste of the world through the eyes of very liberal college experiences they both rebelled for a while.
Like everything else, it’s a season and they’ll come to their senses. OP just needs to hold fast to his/their family values and love them through their bs.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 9:37 am to BluegrassCardinal
quote:
A little context, she graduated HS last weekend and thinks she can run the roads.
Like other posters have said you're going to lose this fight. The question is whether you it costs you some of your authority or all of your authority.
I have two step-daughters. The older is 27, graduated from college, married, with a baby. Doing great. But from 14-20 she was hell on wheels. Her little sister was either the most straight-arrow teenager I've ever seen or some kind of diabolical criminal mastermind. We're still not sure.
Posted on 5/29/24 at 9:41 am to tigernurse
quote:my older one is rebelling - not against me or dad but the whole world
Both of my daughters went through a similar stage but it was after their first year in college.
But she has never been difficult. We shall see if the little one makes up for it.
The boys …. I should start a thread
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