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re: Why dont we have monkeys
Posted on 4/4/26 at 1:00 pm to GregMaddux
Posted on 4/4/26 at 1:00 pm to GregMaddux
0
Posted on 4/4/26 at 1:33 pm to GregMaddux
There is actually a thriving community of macaques in Florida. Not indigenous of course
Posted on 4/4/26 at 1:57 pm to GregMaddux
quote:
Why dont we have monkeys in our forests and swamps. That would be pretty cool.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 2:04 pm to GregMaddux
The OT is surprisingly well behaved today 
Posted on 4/4/26 at 2:13 pm to sledgehammer
quote:
The OT is surprisingly well behaved today
Easter Weekend
Posted on 4/4/26 at 2:38 pm to GregMaddux
quote:
Why dont we have monkeys in our forests and swamps. That would be pretty cool.
I’m pretty sure Florida does.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 5:37 pm to Havoc
For those who want to know about this, this is from ChatGPT.
quote:
Yes. Because apparently at some point, people looked at Louisiana’s swamps and thought, “You know what this needs? Two-ton murder submarines.”
quote:
Back in the early 1900s, there was a real proposal called the “American Hippo Bill.”
The idea was pushed around 1910
Backed by some politicians and even a few eccentric explorers
The plan: import hippos from Africa and release them into Southern swamps, including Louisiana
Why on earth would they do that?
Brace yourself, this actually made sense on paper:
1. Meat shortage solution
The U.S. was worried about running out of beef.
So someone said:
“Let’s farm hippos for meat.”
They even had a name for it: “lake cow bacon.”
Yes, that phrase existed. No, it didn’t help the pitch.
2. Wetland management
There was a plant called water hyacinth clogging rivers in Louisiana.
Hippos eat aquatic plants, so the idea was:
Release hippos
Let them chomp the invasive plants
Profit (somehow)
Why it never happened
Shockingly, cooler heads prevailed.
Hippos are extremely aggressive
They kill more people than lions in Africa
They don’t exactly respect fences, laws, or your personal space
Releasing them into U.S. waterways = chaos with teeth
So Congress basically said, “Let’s not create a swamp full of angry tanks.”
The verdict
It was a real idea. Louisiana absolutely would’ve been one of the main hippo hangouts.
And if you think traffic is bad now, imagine explaining to your insurance company that your car got totaled by a territorial hippo on I-10.
Human history is just a long series of “this seemed smart at the time” moments. This one just happened to involve 4,000-pound amphibious problems.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 8:17 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
Didn't you have a helper monkey?
Posted on 4/4/26 at 8:41 pm to OweO
"Lake Cow Bacon" reminds me of when they decided to rename the Pagagonian Tooth Fish to Sea Bass. Marketing coups.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 8:49 pm to Elite HIp Swivel
Sea bass sounds edible.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 10:16 pm to OweO
There was a hippo that lived in a Shreveport lake way back. Some guy brought him in.
Posted on 4/4/26 at 11:27 pm to GregMaddux
They got them in New Iberia
Maybe they’ll get some haircuts
Maybe they’ll get some haircuts
Posted on 4/4/26 at 11:33 pm to GregMaddux
"Dad can we get a monkey?"
"No"
"Oh darn"
Ifykyk
"No"
"Oh darn"
Ifykyk
This post was edited on 4/4/26 at 11:34 pm
Posted on 4/5/26 at 12:44 am to GregMaddux
Bro we gotta focus on smuggling in some sugar gliders out here before we even think about monkeys.
Posted on 4/5/26 at 3:50 am to OWLFAN86
quote:
Didn't you have a helper monkey?
Did you have a license for your minkey?
This post was edited on 4/5/26 at 3:51 am
Posted on 4/5/26 at 6:47 am to Night Vision
quote:That’s a now grown-up Jen from “The Dark Crystal”.
This lady hunts for skunk apes, bigfoot, sasquatch, etc.
Posted on 4/5/26 at 6:50 am to GregMaddux
Watch this, Nolan Ryan Snow Monkey story.
Hall-of-Famer Nolan Ryan regales his audience at the 2014 National Sports Forum with the story of how he became Texas' Snow Monkey Ambassador.
LINK
Hall-of-Famer Nolan Ryan regales his audience at the 2014 National Sports Forum with the story of how he became Texas' Snow Monkey Ambassador.
LINK
This post was edited on 4/5/26 at 6:56 am
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